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Apr 05

5 (More) Health Trends I Won’t Follow

It’s been a while since I talked about some of the ridiculous (to me) health and fitness trends and why I won’t follow them. I know I should never say never but, the chances of me doing almost anything on this updated list are about as likely as me falling in love with cooking and spending all my time in the kitchen instead of a gym. And, just so you know, I have indulged in only one of the trends I made fun of the first time around — meditation.

It may seem like I’m making some of this stuff up but trust me, I saw this list on Well + Good and well, it was too good to pass up making a mockery of it. < – – See what I did there? 

ANTI-INFLAMMATORY FOODS

First of all, how do you know if your insides are “inflamed?” If it’s because of what these foods are supposedly fighting off – – “bloating, acne and life threatening illnesses,” – – I’m pretty sure you can clear those first two up with eating more fruits and veggies and less sugar, saturated fat and carbohydrates. And, if you’re battling a life threatening illness, I don’t think sprinkling turmeric in your hot chocolate or drinking gallons of ginger tea is going cure you because if it did, wouldn’t we be giving people IVs of nut milks instead of chemo? #justsayin

The kicker: “Starbucks just planted its flag with a new anti-inflammatory drink made with cayenne called the Chile Mocha.” What the hell is happening to us as a civilization? Stop the madness.

POT-INFUSED EVERYTHING

It’s so typical for this country to go from punishment by incarceration for carrying an ounce of weed to mass producing it and “infusing” marijuana into everything possible. Ah ‘Merica.

According to Well + Good you will now be able to purchase everything from food to beauty products with marijuana in them. They sight “a growing body of scientific research” showing these products help reduce anxiety and stress and boost your mood. Is the “scientific research” a bunch of people getting high because I don’t think we actually need to study these effects to know the outcome.

Get this – –  “…as states continue to legalize marijuana, you’ll see it moving into cooking, winemaking, and even fitness.” Cooking? Yes. Anything that gets me to cook more, I’m willing to try. Fitness? Hell no! How anyone can workout when high, I will never understand.

The kicker: None of it will actually get you high. The products will be using cannabidiol or CBD which is the non-psychoactive extra from THC. Um, what? Wait, what’s the point then?

MENSTURAL “REALNESS”

I’m warning all the men (yes, all three of you) to just skip to the next one because this is something you definitely do not want to know anything about.

All you ladies may have heard about this new thing called “free bleeding?” Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Basically having your period and choosing not to wear a tampon or pad. Did that sink in? Yeah, ok so there are companies now making specialty underwear for women who want to embrace this. I.just.can’t.

The article does talk about things I’m all for, however, like how insane it is to tax feminine products like tampons with a “luxury” tax because I feel super luxurious when I have my period, don’t you? Right.

The kicker: Our culture “would have us believe that cravings, cramps, and out-of-control emotions are inevitable parts of womanhood,” said Alisa Vitti, a women’s hormone expert, “I’m here to tell you: It’s just not true.” I thought those things were an inevitable part of parenting. Oops!

DITCHING MAKE-UP FOR THE “NATURAL LOOK”

I don’t wear a lot of make-up but I’ve seen a lot of people who really should. This may work in California, New York and Miami but if you have been to a casino, Disney World or Target you know that 87% of the people there (men and women!) need make-up. Please don’t take this away, I’m begging you.

The kicker: “While makeup isn’t going away, authentic beauty is going to be a hot topic—for women and beauty brands—in 2017.” This translates into a marketing scheme by make-up companies. #naturalbeautymyass

SOBER SOCIAL SCENE

Don’t be ridiculous.

The kicker: “NYC’s Club Soda is a new event series with meditation guide Biet Simkin. Their events address how to navigate sober life, from sex and dating without alcohol to avoiding the bar at holiday parties.” If you need a “guide” for any of this then yes, you should definitely stop drinking. Immediately.

 

 

What is your favorite on this list?

Which one have you tried or would you try?

Don’t write me nasty messages about the make-up thing, it’s a joke!

40 comments

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  1. danielle

    whoa just whoa… i’m still on the free bleeding one. and sober parties? i get the anti inflammatory thing because i’ve certainly tried creating many elixirs and concoctions to improve my immune system. i suppose when i was knee deep with a sick infant and constantly sniffling, coughing, etc, i got desperate. bring me all the ginger and turmeric! i think the placebo effect is real, at least i felt better after drinking the concoctions. perhaps because they were so gross i felt stronger for not yacking.
    but free bleeding is just too much. i can’t even. why??? and light makeup is fine but no makeup? no thanks. i like options to use on my face and am totally aware that makeup makes me feel prettier sometimes. i’m fine with that. i’m secure in my insecurity 😀
    danielle recently posted…WIR sleep less play moreMy Profile

    1. vita88

      The placebo effect is so REAL and I have it all the time – hello probiotics! And the free bleeding thing I just do not understand. Ever.

  2. Angela @ Happy Fit Mama

    Anti-inflammatory foods? Don’t that. I actually like a tumeric latte from a local coffee shop. The pot infused stuff had me laughing. I had a patient who swore his weed lotion made his feet so good he could walk for miles right after he put it on. I think he also smoked a lot of it too but whatever got him to move more. Free bleeding? No thanks. And I love that you added casinos to your make up list. Always an interesting crowd at the casino! Lol!
    Angela @ Happy Fit Mama recently posted…Thoughts While Pool RunningMy Profile

    1. vita88

      That is too funny about your client! People can do all kinds of things when they’re high
      And, I always think about the people who live in my state when I’m at the casino. Just no. #allthemakeup

  3. Susie @ Suzlyfe

    Alex sees patients dying of cancer because they tried to cure it with TURMERIC IV’s!
    I wish I was joking. One patient was stage 2 breast cancer, could have been cured, but she wanted to go the holistic route and relied on turmeric. Unfortunately, she died in the hospital (that she walked out of) about 6 months later.
    Susie @ Suzlyfe recently posted…Marathon Training with a Chronic Illness (Running Coaches Corner)My Profile

    1. vita88

      Wait WHAT???? You know I was totally joking when I wrote that because I could just never imagine!!! This is exactly my point. If you tell people they can cure life threatening illnesses with a spice they will overdose on it! That is horrible. Truly.

  4. Nikki

    This is amazing!! I can’t stop laughing!! I’m all for real Whole Foods, but we can’t expect one ingredient to save our lives – so crazy!! I’m also still floored with Menstural “Realness”. Who would ever want that?! Sounds pretty terrible to me, hahaha! Thank you for putting this list together!

    1. vita88

      I’m so glad I could make you laugh. And yes, of course eating whole foods and a balanced diet (blah, blah, blah) is key. When will people learn there is no magic bullet? *sigh*
      Thanks Nikki!

  5. Dana

    Free bleeding is clearly the most bizarre of all of these. Blech! I won’t be following any of these trends, because I’m a rebel. (but really because I like my makeup, my alcohol, and my tampons).

    1. vita88

      My points exactly! Stay sane my friend.

  6. Hollie

    Ha, I cannot stop laughing either. To be honest, I do add turmeric into my daily routine but I haven’t really noticed a difference. We cannot expect one diet staple to make us healthy. Yet…culture always promotes one right? This year turmeric…a few years ago kale…
    Hollie recently posted…March TrainingMy Profile

    1. vita88

      Exactly!!! It’s a whole lifestyle and way of eating but I know that doesn’t sell. Thanks Hollie and I’m always psyched to get you to LOL

  7. Sandra Laflamme

    I have actually read a lot about anti-inflammatory foods since I have auto-immune issues of my thyroid but since my issues are not severe I have not gone there. I am however open to this as there are lots of studies now saying these foods can help people with auto-immune. But just like gluten-free, not everyone needs to jump on this bandwagon and when things get extreme there can actually be dangers to health (did you see the scary and sad article about the woman who received turmeric in an IV. Not kidding). I am for make-up free for me as I have always had trouble with my skin so its easier just to go without but I do like to glam up every now and again.

    I love your article Allie and your ever open honesty. You are awesome!
    Sandra Laflamme recently posted…New Balance Running Shoes–Fresh Foam 1080My Profile

    1. vita88

      I have no doubt that a diet rich in a plethora of “anti inflammatory” foods will help…along with fitness and mindfulness and basically living a healthy life. I hate when they push the one ingredient will save your life – – especially when it’s in a $14 cup of coffee! And, I had no clue about the turmeric IV thing until Suzy mentioned it!? I was clearly joking but my God, that is what happens when people promote this stuff as “life saving!” *sigh*
      Thanks so much Sandra and you never need any make-up my friend!

  8. Nellie

    haha I’ve done all 5 of these things. LIES i’m just kidding I haven’t even heard of most of this stuff except thinx. That underwear ad is all over the NYC subway trains and I do NOT want to be surrounded by this mysterious underwear that isn’t supposed to DO all of that. I love makeup!! I know I need it most days but do I wear it to pick up the kids? likely not.
    Nellie recently posted…3 Reasons Why UniverSoul Circus Is Better Than EverMy Profile

    1. vita88

      You are too much!! And I can only imagine the awkwardness of those ads on a crowded subway. I mean, really?
      I too love make-up but I really love a woman (or man’s) choice to either wear it or not or whatever. Why does it have to be a thing?
      Thanks love!

  9. Paria@momontherunsanity.com

    Wow… these trends are all such complete bullshit…. I’m all for more natural looking makeup than a caked on look, but the rest seriously… and no body can take away my mascara ever…. How much are these soda clubs going to charge for their non-alcoholic drinks, and how will they possibly stay in business? I read something last week about some vaginal lubricant with pot in it…. We should brainstorm and come up with some ridiculous trend and see if we can make money off of it….
    Paria@momontherunsanity.com recently posted…ImmigrantMy Profile

    1. vita88

      It’s insanity!!!! I knew you would more than agree with me no these and we could totally come up with some BS product that would make us millions…too bad we have all these morals.

  10. Susan - Nurse on the Run

    I always think it’s hilarious when people who are beautiful with perfect skin post their “so brave” make-up free selfie. My cheetah print skin likes a little coverage. And I like myself better with it, and that’s all that matters, right? Wear make up or don’t wear it, but I don’t really care what you do.

    Remember when that woman ran a marathon and was free bleeding the whole time? So silly.
    Susan – Nurse on the Run recently posted…Adventures in Amsterdam, March 2017My Profile

    1. vita88

      That is exactly what I’m talking about! Why do we have to make “natural” beauty a thing? Either wear it or don’t – no one cares! And I love the gorgeous 20 year old “taking a deep breath and posting a make-up free pic” #barf

      And yes, how could I forget the free bleeding runner? I mean, people think runners are crazy enough, we don’t need that kind of publicity.

  11. Fancy Nancy

    Yeah the “free bleeding” makes me want to throw up in my mouth!! Seriously yuck! I can’t even believe that this is a real thing!!! And let’s be honest…I’m doing everyone I come into contact with during the day a favor by taking a few minutes to put make-up on…no one needs to see this tired mama in all her natural beauty!!
    Fancy Nancy recently posted…Workout WednesdayMy Profile

  12. Carly @ Fine Fit Day

    Oh these are so crazy pants. Free bleeding? Just no. No no no. That never needs to be a thing. And the anti inflammatory one, look, if people want to try it and they get a placebo effect or a real effect, okay, but what terrifies me with stuff like that is that people start thinking that’s all they have to do to cure themselves of cancer or something. It’s dangerous. With that said, chili and chocolate is amazing together and I am totally onboard with the cayenne hot chocolate Starbucks came up with. Loved this , Allie, thanks for giving me a laugh this morning.
    Carly @ Fine Fit Day recently posted…10 Famous Running Scenes in MoviesMy Profile

    1. vita88

      OMG yes, super dangerous and apparently (according to some of the other comments) people are doing just that!!! Stop the madness. Modern medicine is amazing – use it!!
      You’re so welcome for the laugh. We all could use more of it on a Wednesday…

  13. Sue @ This Mama Runs for Cupcakes

    The period underwear is horrific to me? What the what?! No way in hell….

    1. vita88

      So with ya on it. And then, do you wash it with your clothes or separately or (God forbid) hand wash it??? Just NOOOOOOO!

      1. Sue @ This Mama Runs for Cupcakes

        So gross. Not sure why any woman would be for this!!

  14. Ana

    I’m not in for free bleeding… I get it, we are women, hear us roar! but I don’t want to put my inner dead cells out there for display. I read an article of a woman who got her period the night before the marathon, and she refused to change her outfit or wear a pad… to which I say, Good for you!! but definitely not for me!

    I feel the same about anti-oxidants… I ask myself… Am I getting rusty? why do I need more foods with anti-oxidants? cant’ we just say that we love pomegranate and call it a day?

    I love your down to earth honest review on health trends! thanks Allie!
    Ana recently posted…How I Deal With StressMy Profile

    1. vita88

      Yep – that woman was big news and everyone was collectively grossed out. Call me crazy but I’d rather not call attention to my period.
      So true about the antioxidants especially because I think the people who “get it” are not the people who need to be overly concerned with health, while the people who can benefit most should just start eating real, whole foods and start with the basics. Just too much!!
      Thanks Ana!

  15. Laura @ This Runner's Recipes

    Oh I love your funny posts and this one did not disappoint! Now…is this Washington doing the pot-infused things? I can totally see that being a thing out there. We have marijuana stores every block it seems and I can just see someone out here selling pot-infused vegan brownies or something.
    I knew someone who tried to treat RA with turmeric, and it was really sad to watch – needless to say, medicine would have worked better. The whole mentality of it is dangerous. Yes, foods can help you recover better from a workout – but not from arthritis, cancer, or another disease! I’ve even had well-meaning people tell me that maybe eating weird anti-inflammatory food x,y, or z could help my endometriosis symptoms. And speaking of which…free bleeding? Seriously? Gross! That can’t be real…please tell me no one actually does that!
    Laura @ This Runner’s Recipes recently posted…Running with Spring AllergiesMy Profile

    1. vita88

      It’s all over the country with the pot-infused everything…well, wherever it’s legal of course.
      I never heard the stories about people trying to actually treat life threatening illnesses with anti-inflammatory foods! I was totally joking but it just goes to show that we cannot promote this stuff as a cure-all. It’s just dangerous.
      And don’t you love advice from people who know nothing about your illness or aliment? I know I do
      Thanks Laura!

  16. lauramich

    I can’t be bothered with makeup.

    I seldom drink; I’d rather have a brownie than a beer. And I’ve never tried pot. Remember the movie French Kiss (I’m probably the only one who does), where Meg Ryan’s character tried pot once, got busted, and ended up not being able to renew her passport and escape France because of it? If I ever tried pot, I’m sure I’d be Meg.

    If I eat something anti-inflammatory, it’s because it’s delicious, not because it’s anti-inflammatory.

    I have mild to moderate endometriosis, and ever since I had my son 4.5 years ago, my uterus has decided to empty all of its contents in about two days each cycle. If I tried to “free bleed,” I’m afraid I’d be standing in a puddle.

    1. vita88

      I happened to LOVE the movie French Kiss and I of course know exactly what you’re talking about! That is too funny!!
      And the free bleeding is just not good under any circumstances but definitely not yours! You poor thing!!!

  17. Suzy

    Give me mary jane infused tampons and we have a deal.

    Okay but seriously, smoking weed helps people run farther and longer in ultras and stuff. I have…a friend… that tried it, and it works. It also makes the post-long run bacon cheeseburger taste that much better.
    Suzy recently posted…Pregnant and Running: 18 Week UpdateMy Profile

    1. vita88

      Mary Jane infused tampons is GENIUS!!!!! Please make this happen.
      And LOL to your “friend” doing an ultra while high. I can actually see how that would work but I would probably end up getting lost!!!
      Have I told you how awesome you are lately? Muah!!!

  18. Ellie Pell

    Today I did the apple cider vinegar, cayenne pepper and lemon juice shot. I laughed at it a while ago and even before I did it. Honestly I just wanted to not look like a wimp. Actually, it was kind of…I can’t say nice, but I felt good after taking it. I am not sure if this is a health rectifying thing, but I’m gonna keep doing it with my coworkers. I cannot explain the feeling afterwards, but I felt really swell.
    Ellie Pell recently posted…Simple Almond Butter and Molasses Energy BitesMy Profile

    1. vita88

      Hey – whatever makes you feel “swell” I am ALL FOR!

  19. Danielle @ The T-Rex Runner

    OMG, free bleeding is just…it’s too much. I do think it’s good that we are “normalizing” periods and natural bodily functions (admittedly something I am SUPER awkward about so probably I am benefiting from all of this normalizing) but…there should be a limit. And that limit is prior to free bleeding.

    Also – my coach is big into supplements/vitamins/anti-inflammatory stuff. I generally poo-poo those sorts of things, but I do what my coach says because I’m a major rule follower. So I take turmeric and tart cherry extract and a few other things every night to help with inflammation and stuff for my back. I have no idea if it is working or not, but I just do what I’m told, and I figure it can’t hurt.
    Danielle @ The T-Rex Runner recently posted…It’s Not Always Mind Over MatterMy Profile

    1. vita88

      That’s my issue with the anti-inflammatory supplements- shouldn’t you know if they’re working? I totally understand though because I always do as I’m told by my coach!! I hope they are helping you push toward Prague!

  20. Matt @ Pickleball

    Great post, love your honesty. I agree with most of these. I lived in CO until recently and the whole pot infused thing is getting out of hand since it became legal.

    1. vita88

      Thanks for reading…and for agreeing with me. I can only imagine what it was like living in Colorado when pot first became legalized.

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