My Meltdown

Since we’ve been talking and sharing so much about the fabulous book Mother of All Meltdowns written by some amazing bloggy moms, I decided that I must share my own colossal meltdown because it was epic.

The twins were 2 years-old and we were visiting my brother and sister-in-law in NY as we had done many times before.  The Friday night we arrived, my son Miles came down with a fever.  It got worse as the night progressed and I ended up “sleeping” with him on a twin bed.  With no covers.  Wearing a tank top and shorts.  In the winter.  After what seemed like an eternity of no sleep, my burning baby crying on and off, he finally woke-up his brother and all hell broke loose. It was about 4am.  My brother had a pregnant wife and a 4 year-old who were trying to sleep so I decided to take the boys for a ride since that was probably the only thing that would get them back to sleep.

I woke-up my husband and he helped me give Miles some more medicine, pack the diaper bag and get them both bundled up and in the car.  At 4am.  In the winter.  Once we started driving and I put on a movie, there was finally quiet!  My brother lives in the middle of fucking nowhere NY so I was driving in complete darkness hoping and praying to see a Dunkin Donuts to get some caffeine in me, but there was nothing but farms and tractors.  For fear of falling asleep myself, I went back to the house around 6am to call in my back-up – the hubs.

I was able to sleep for an hour or so and when I woke-up Miles was sleeping soundly and the rest of the crew was ready to go to the Chowder Fest in Saratoga.  Doesn’t that sound nice?  Isn’t a chowder fest in a quintessential town like Saratoga sound picture perfect?  That should’ve been my first clue after the night I had.  My husband offered to stay home with Miles so that I could take his brother Vaughn and have some fun after my rough night.  Sign number 2.

A sign of impending doom!

A sign of impending doom!

My sister-in-law offered me her oh-so-slim single stroller since I only had one kid to stroll through the festival.  When you are used to twins and suddenly only have to take care of one baby, you feel as though anything is possible!  Sign number 3.

I loaded up my one baby into the car I had been driving around in all morning, with my single stroller and we headed to downtown Saratoga.  As soon as we parked I realized that poor Vaughn, who had also been up most of the night, was sound asleep.  I told the others to go on without me and I would meet them when he woke-up.  The other issue?  The boys were potty training.  Vaughn was now asleep without a pull-up on which meant he was probably going to pee his pants in his sleep.  Shit.  I obviously wasn’t thinking clearly after the night I had, and left him in underwear.  I quickly thought that I had a change of clothes in the diaper bag and a plastic bag for the wet ones, so I was all set.  Am I freakin organized or what?  I’m telling you, when those kids were little, I was prepared for anything.  Except assholes.

Vaughn woke-up and sure enough, he peed his pants and was not happy about it.  I soothed him as best I could and took him out of the car seat as fast as I could and got him into the back of the SUV.  I was driving my husband’s Tahoe so there was plenty of room.  Vaughn could actually stand-up back there when he was that age.  Since I only had that dinky single stroller, I just placed it next to the truck – between it and the open parking space, and left the back of the SUV open so I could move around.

Picture this:  I’m hunkered down in the trunk space of my SUV with my crying and naked 2 year-old who I’m wiping down with a towel and wet wipes.  All of a sudden I hear a loud truck engine.  I look out and see a guy trying to pull into the space next to me but the stroller is slightly in the way.  He rolls his window down and yells something like “Do you want your stroller to get run over bitch?” and proceeds to screech into the parking space. Commence meltdown.

jumped out of the SUV (leaving my son naked from the waist down), went up to the guy while he was getting out of his truck and starting screaming at him, beginning with “What the FUCK did you just say to me?”  I then laid into him about how I’m a mother of twins and I’m having a very bad day and who the hell does he think he is and I’m obviously trying to change my kid who just pissed his pants and why doesn’t he go fuck himself?”  He actually said “I don’t care.”  This guy had serious balls.  He was also about 6’5″ and looked as though he didn’t miss a meal.  Ever.

I feel ya Brittany bitch.

I feel ya Brittany bitch.

I finally composed myself (somewhat) and went back to poor Vaughn.  He looked like a deer in the headlights.  He was stunned.  He had certainly never seen mommy like that and hearing all those new and interesting words must have been a shock to his system.

The asshole also had his daughter and wife with him which was probably why, moments later, he walked over and apologized.  I just kind of shook my head like “whatever.”  My blood was still boiling.

After I dressed my son and put him in the stroller I called my brother and retold the whole ridiculous story.  His response?  He started laughing his ass off.

The chowder fest was awful.  It was super crowded and freezing.  We ended up hunkered down in the library for warmth and ate the equivalent of a shot glass of chowder because it was so hard to actually get into a restaurant to get any.

Now, whenever we go to Saratoga, we simply refer to it as “the incident” and have a good laugh.  Someday I’ll be able to tell the boys that story as a warning to tread lightly when mom hasn’t had enough sleep!

Share your meltdown moment…it doesn’t have to involve kids!  Have you ever fought over a parking space?



Skip to comment form

  1. This.Is.Awesome. I would have gone absolutely crazy if I’d been in the same situation! You already know milk-related meltdown has been recorded for all posterity!

    1. I know! Yep, it was BAD!!!

  2. Oh, man….it actually seems like you restrained yourself fairly well. I would’ve killed the guy!!! 🙂

    1. If he hadn’t been three times my size, I may have tried to throw a punch. Seriously!

  3. I so would have laid into that jerk, too (being nice with my language here), but seriously was totally feeling your pain and then some being the mom of two little girls 16 months apart. Your meltdown by that point was totally justifiable and then some. Think I might have had the meltdown even before that and seriously give you credit for holding it together a long as you did!

    1. Thank you!! In hindsight I have no idea how I lasted so long without melting down. It was only a matter of time.

  4. Oh my God, I am just DYING for you. That is the WORST story ever!! I cannot believe that guy!! Especially because he was a father and SHOULD have known better. I am just SO SORRY. But thank God, you can share it now with the rest of us who totally benefited from your trauma!! ;)-Ashley

    1. It makes for a good story but, at the time, it was so horrible! I don’t think I calmed down for days afterward. He was perhaps the biggest jerk in the history of jerks. I mean, who does that?!

  5. I love you. I just love you. This was clearly an awful moment but you have so much spunk in you in ANY situation. I would like to think I would have said the same thing to that dude in the SUV. Sometimes, putting people in their place is necessary!

    1. I love you too Ilene! It was so necessary to not take any lip from that guy. I mean, really? He’s lucky I was so tired and that was *all* I did – ha ha!!

  6. That is just hysterical. I needed a good laugh this morning — thank you! I am sure it was not funny at the time but I can just see you screaming at the guy in the truck (whose wife probably completely tore him apart after you did). That is awesome!! I bet he’ll think twice next time!

    1. It is definitely funny now that it’s two years old! I would have loved to have heard what his wife said to make him come back to me with his tail between his legs. Jerk.

  7. LOL! This is hillarious and I can just imagine all of this happening. I haven’t been close to snapping on a complete stranger, but I have had my meltdown moments. They are, however, post-worthy and I couldn’t begin to write it all in this comment box!

    1. I know what you mean. The thing about true meltdowns is that they are *brewed* by several events leading up to the one explosion! It’s comforting to know we all have them.

  8. Oh my God now I’m laughing my ass off. I have been to Saratoga Springs a few times but only in the summer months. The last meltdown I had was last year with a fellow co-worker who got up in my face and yelled at me for talking to much. If it wasn’t for being at work I would have told him to go fuck himself too.

    1. Sometimes it the only word that works!! Stay away from the Chowder Fest!! ha ha ha Thanks Kris.

  9. Oh my God! So glad he apologized but what kind of person does all that anyway, in front of you, your kid and his kid?! I am kinda cracking up, though. And I probably would have had a similar meltdown, only mine might have led to punching him in the face.

    1. Right? If I had any chance of reaching his face without a ladder, I may have tried!

    • Bobbi on October 21, 2013 at 10:10 AM
    • Reply

    OMG! I am reading this at work and cracking up laughing! Thanks Allie for that story! I can’t even imagine going through that and then that guy …I would have seriously punched him!

    1. I know you would have Bobbi!!! I’m just glad Mike wasn’t there. Vaughn would have witnessed assault and battery charges. Of course, if Mike was there this jerk probably wouldn’t have said anything.
      Glad I could give you a laugh:-)

  10. OMG! I would have died – I babysat preemie twins from the age of 14 to 16 and I would only have them for a night or a day at the most and it was always so exhausting! I’m only 28 now but I had so much more energy as a teenager and am convinced that was why I was able to do it haha. Good for you and I hope you gave yourself a huge bubble bath after that!

    *Found you through Mom’s Monday Mingle!

    1. Yes twins are definitely a lot to handle. I wish I had the energy of a teenager sometimes!! Thanks for reading for the “mingle!”

  11. For a minute I thought that was a picture of you with an umbrella stroller! And I totally didn’t blame you for what you were about to do!!

    1. HA!! That is too funny!! Thanks…:-)

    • Kim on October 21, 2013 at 2:11 PM
    • Reply

    Such a funny story (NOW!) but I can see how that would not have been even a tiny bit funny at the time! I would have done the same thing – that whole sense of entitlement from a complete jerk is never necessary even if kids weren’t involved – with kids, it’s completely unacceptable on his part and the perfect response on your part!!

    1. Perfectly said Kim! I often wonder what kind of a day HE was having or if he’s just a jerk? Either way, it wasn’t justified.

    • Chris on October 21, 2013 at 2:44 PM
    • Reply

    Over 40 years later, I still remember my mommy melt down. My boys are what they call “Irish Twins”, they are 11 months apart. Jim was a newborn and Joe was just about a year old when I finally got brave enough to leave the house with the two of them, alone. I decided to go to Vernon Circle (it was a circle back then) and do a little shopping. I went into a card shop called the Carousel. In the middle of the store was a little carousel. Joe spotted the carousel and wanted to climb on. I had the newborn in my arms and couldn’t help him, so had to say no. Being a healthy, well trained little boy, Joe threw himself into a good old fashioned temper tantrum. I didn’t know what to do. Jim wasn’t old enough to sit up and I couldn’t lay him on the floor! I looked around me at the other women in the store, with a “help me” panicked look on my face and all of a sudden, every single person was struck by utter blindness. Still carrying the baby, I literally dragged little Joey by the arm, out of the store while he screamed. What kind of mother drags her kid like a sack?? Luckily, there was a shopping cart outside the door, where I could lay Jim down and get Joe under control. I don’t even remember the drive home, I was shaking so badly. As soon as I got home, I put each kid in his crib, took two aspirin and went to my own bed. I got up about 20 minutes later, assuming they had fallen asleep but they must have know mommy went off the deep end because when I went to check on them, they were both awake, but lying sweetly and quietly in their cribs. I try to remember that when I see a young mother struggling to get under control.

    1. Oh Chris, I feel your pain!! I cannot believe that happened in the Carousel! I used to WORK there in High School. How crazy is that?? It’s also crazy that no one tried to help you. It never ceases to amaze me how people would rather turn a blind eye then help.
      I love that the kids were finally laying quietly in their beds – ha ha!!! Nothing like a little “mommy crazy” to scare them quiet. Love it! Thanks for sharing this.

  12. You deserved a quart of chowder after that – what a jerk! Why do people have to be so nasty? Such a waste of energy.

    1. Seriously! I needed a quart of wine after that but I would have settled for any kind of food or beverage. Thanks Dana!

  13. I LOVE that you shared your meltdown. It’s the kind of story that you told here that makes my blood boil too. I wish I had been there with you, I don’t care how big he was (I’m 5 feet tall), I woulda gone all ninja on his A$$.

    1. You are so funny! I should have absolutely gone ninja on his a$$!! Love that.

  14. Oh my gosh. My heart literally just started beating faster as I read this I got so mad. Honestly, with the commute I have and the ridiculous people on it I could have a meltdown every single day. My blood pressure rises every morning but I try to squash it and am working on being more zen like. However, if I were in your situation I would have freakin lost it to!!

    1. Being on a crowded subway at rush hour would definitely be reason enough for a meltdown! It’s actually good training for you when you have kids!!

  15. This is so cray cray. I can just imagine you jumping out and laying into this dude like he totally deserved. I give you all the props for keeping it together for as long as you did! I would have been in a closet somewhere crying and begging for mercy. At least he came and apologized afterwards but like you it would have been too damn late. How dare he?! Ugh. I have had plenty of mini meltdowns, usually involving a lack of sleep as well. I am so cranky without it!

    1. It’s usually a combo of sleep deprivation and something else that causes serious meltdowns. I mean, isn’t sleep depravation a form of torture? Totally cray cray.

  16. Reading your story made my heart race! I’d say that you handled the situation pretty well. Not sure I could have done the same! That pic of Britney made me laugh out loud. Perfectly placed!

    1. I know, right? I never thought I would be able to relate to that picture…and then I had kids! Thanks for reading and commenting!!

  17. Seriously! Craziness… your response cracked me up… I’d never be bold enough to yell back, but I love that you did!

    1. I was kind of having an out of body experience at that point. I’m not sure I could have done that had I had a full night sleep!!

  18. Love it!!! That is hilarious!!! I had a meltdown once – in front of my house – holding a baby monitor (my kids were asleep in the house) – with a parking ticket person. I freaked out about a completely unreasonable ticket ( or attempt to give one). It was a serious freakout (was in the peak of my divorce/single momming it) and the parking woman called the COPS!!! They assumed it was a ASSAULT and arrived. They pretty much laughed that it was ME – with my BABY MONITOR – and the parking attendant woman was severely reprimanded about overreacting to my meltdown. The next day, the cute, young cop gave me a call to make sure “I was ok”:)) We have our moments:)

    1. OMG that is a good one!! Of course, now that it’s over. I cannot believe she called the cops. That is crazy!! Isn’t it nice to know you’re not alone? Thanks for sharing Leah!!

  19. This is hilarious! I questioned sharing my own meltdown because of the language I used, it just made this story that much funnier. Heck just wouldn’t have cut it, I’m so glad you put it out there!

    1. Sometimes I think it can come across pretty harsh but with this? I just had to use the full force of the f-bomb!! Thanks for the support. Ha ha!!

  20. Oh honey, I’ve definitely been there! I think every parent has. I only wish the guy you yelled at could read this encapsulation and get an idea of what was going on. People are schmucks but you seem well prepared for them. I’m guessing Chowderfests are not the top of your list for any outing.

    I’m amazed every single day when people have more than one child – I realize that you got a package deal and for that, I’m even more in awe of all that you do and keep your sanity!

    1. I love your use of the word “schmucks!” Awesome. Chowder fest? Never again…with kids.
      I’m in awe of anyone with more then two kids, or any other mom of twins and, especially a mom with twins and then more kids!! How do they do it? I haven’t a clue.
      Thanks Melissa.

  21. Oh yes, I had a meltdown a few months ago. I’ve been considering writing about it but I’m kinda embarrassed what a horrid screaming bitch I became, lol.

    But I may write it. 🙂

    1. Write it. Mine is pretty embarrassing as well but this is what bonds mommies everywhere!

  22. {Melinda} I never understand people who don’t have compassion for mothers — especially mothers of little ones and teenagers! 🙂 Moms have a hard job. And a nearly impossible one without decent sleep!

    1. Absolutely! The people you think would have the most tolerance (those with kids!) do not.

  23. Oh my gosh, I think I need a glass of wine after just reading about this one! I would’ve gone nuts on that guy who pulled into the parking spot. Thanks for sharing your story!

    1. I drank many glasses that night! Thanks for reading…

  24. Oh, gosh! After reading this it totally reminded me of a near crazy episode I had probably around the year 2000. I worked in consulting and it was stressful. We rented a townhouse in the suburbs of STL, also stressful. When I pulled up to my assigned parking spot which was right in front of my house, clearly marked, there were a bunch of 20 years old in it (it was around 8:00 pm and I’d been at work since about 6:00 am). I told them to move and they wouldn’t which is when I lost it and started screaming every thing I could think of at them. I’d purposely picked that townhouse because it was one of the few that actually had the house and parking spot aligned. Lucas is a sever asthmatic and had epilepsy (technically I suppose he still has it but he hasn’t had a seizure since he was little) and I had to be able to run out the door to the ER at a moments notice. Not only did they hear all about that but they also heard about what horrible little f wads they are and who the heck do they think they are, etc. Unlike you’re guy these kids actually got scared of little ole me and after that they didn’t even park in the area. They parked in a flow over lot and walked over to see their friend. ha!

    1. I love it!! Good for you. Don’t mess with mama bear. I love how we start to tell the a-holes our entire life story just to get the point across. Thanks for sharing and making me feel a little less insane.

  25. I DON’T MEAN TO LAUGH… BUT I AM LAUGHING. If I am ever a mother I WILL FUCKING CUSS OUT ANYONE WHO SAYS ONE LITTLE SNARKY COMMENT… EVEN IF THEY SAY HELLO TO ME in a weird tone of voice, I will rip their BALLS OFF and feed them to them! BAH HA HA! Vulgar, no???

    I give you so much credit raising your children though, it’s a lot of work. You clearly love them. I mean, NO SLEEP. NO BLANKETS. A DRIVE @ 4AM… NOOOOO DUNKIN’ DONUTS coffee, WTF!!!!!

    I have had my FARE SHARE of melt downs. It’s so funny because it seems like the WORLD is ENDING when they happen to me, yet right now, i cannot even remember what any of them are/were!!!!

    1. I would not want to mess with you GiGi. In fact, if I lived anywhere near LA I would hire you as my bodyguard. We would make quite the daunting pair, right? Love it!!

  26. What a jerk. He didn’t care too much about his family being that he made that initial comment in the first place. It’s still pretty funny from where I’m reading, sorry friend.

    I had a similar situation, though not really a meltdown. My sister, BFF, and I decided to max out a trip and wake up and drive from the Beau Rivage in MS back home the same day I had to report to work on the night shift. We stopped at a Chik fil A, I ran in and when coming out there was a little old lady talking to me in the car next to mine. I was all, excuse ma’am bc I couldn’t hear her, then she shot me a bird and told me to turn down my fucken music….needless to say, I called her a lot of names and invited her old ass to come to my car and turn it down herself!!!

    1. HA!!! OMG I can totally picture you doing that. Good for you! People are so incredibly rude.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge

%d bloggers like this: