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Feb 19

Raising Boys vs Girls: Guest Post

I don’t have a mom anymore, but I am one.  I don’t have a young daughter, but I was one.  I had no idea how much I would love my kids until I had them, and I had no clue how much more I would miss having a mom until I became one.

A funny thing happens when you mom dies when you’re young.  She turns into a super hero.  In my memories, my mother is perfect; the quintessential SAHM who took her job as seriously as she would being the President.  She is immortalized as someone who had all the answers, dried all the tears and did all the right things.  Of course I remember the hard times I had with her, the fighting and crying and name calling (by me, not her) but now, as a mom myself, she has become the epitome of motherhood to me and how I wish for just one really long conversation with her about how the hell she did it all.

Of course, I’m blessed with my surrogate mothers, the mother superior of which is my Aunt Carla.  She’s one of two sisters my mom had and her answer to my repeated question of how my mom did it is always the same “She didn’t have twins!”  Yes, that’s one of the many reasons I love her.  However, I also think it’s because my mom was blessed with the sweetest little boy on the planet in my brother.  My children share none of his calm, play-by-myself-for hours attributes.

This is Nicole - mom of two girls, working in sweats and inspiring us all!

This is Nicole – mom of two girls, working in sweats and inspiring us all!

Now I know there are moms out there with crazy girls, but I can only speak from my experiences thus far.  One of the best ways I can describe what it’s like to raise boys vs girls was encapsulated in a vacation to Cape Cod four years ago.  If you’re my sister-in-law, you can stop reading because you’ve heard this one.

The rest of you can click HERE and read the rest at Work In Sweats Mama where I’m the honored sweats wearing guest!

 

20 comments

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  1. thedoseofreality

    Cannot wait to read it! I love how you describe your mom…something tells me that she is smiling hearing that and probably shaking her head, too. As the mom of girls, I love reading about adventures with boys! :)-Ashley
    thedoseofreality recently posted…My Husband Got A Standing Ovation At StarbucksMy Profile

    1. vita88

      Thanks Ashley!! Nicole will be HERE next Wednesday talking about parenting her girls so you have that to look forward too!

  2. Tamara

    Oh yay! Two of my favorites together. Headed there now.
    And with my father dying when I was only four, I remember NOTHING, basically. So of course my mind fills in the blank to make him the most dashing, handsome, intelligent, heroic man who ever lived.

    And of course, having one boy and one girl makes me very curious to see who will give me a run for my money this summer in Cape Cod. Last year? Des was one but couldn’t walk yet. This year, he already runs away from me.
    Tamara recently posted…Wait, What? Is This a Dream?My Profile

    1. vita88

      Isn’t it funny how we do that with our parents? It may be the only one “good” thing to come of it.
      I can’t wait to hear about the adventures of Des this summer 🙂

  3. Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama

    I just stopped by and I loved it! You totally nailed what it is to be a boy mom vs. a girl mom.
    Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama recently posted…Weekly Wednesday Workout: Side V-UpsMy Profile

    1. vita88

      Thanks so much Nellie!! Wish we could get all our boys together and let them play! Oh my Lord, that would be something!!

  4. Karen LeBaron

    Hilarious! “Little animals”. Best of luck on your trip to Spain!

    1. vita88

      Thanks so much Karen!

  5. Eli@coachdaddy

    I love your desire to have that conversation with your mom. Can you imagine? I wish my dad could have one with my girls … your mom would be so proud of the woman you’ve become. You’re her legacy.
    Eli@coachdaddy recently posted…Guest Post: 5 Quotable Things My Kids Have Said, by Katy of Experienced Bad MomMy Profile

    1. vita88

      That went straight to my heart Eli. Thank you so much. I’ll read this many times over…

  6. Tara Newman

    Allie – this was so beautifully articulated. I have a boy and a girl. However, my girl is a major tomboy 🙂 Boys are really baffling to me. I work very hard to understand both my son and my husband!
    Tara Newman recently posted…Weight Vest TrainingMy Profile

    1. vita88

      Thanks so much Tara! I could definitely add my husband into the mix. I usually tell people I have triplets!

  7. Dana

    Loved it, Allie! I know there are gender differences, but I really feel like it’s more a function of personality and temperament than boy vs girl. There have been plenty of days when I thought five boys would be easier than my one girl! (who I love to pieces, but still)
    Dana recently posted…Seven day sugar detox – accomplished!My Profile

    1. vita88

      I agree! With kids, it’s so much more about personality and, of course, they change as they grow 🙂

  8. Carla

    Fun guest post! Honestly, I think my boys were much easier to raise than my daughter. But that’s just me. Something about moms and sons.

    I like your Aunt Carla even though I’ve never met her. 😉
    Carla recently posted…An Interview About Living a Healthy Lifestyle: LisaMy Profile

    1. vita88

      It’s very true about moms and sons – I agree with that for sure!! I’ve never had a daughter (and never will!) so…
      Aunt Carla is the best. Must be something in the name 🙂

  9. Yum Yucky

    Just came back over here from commenting on your guest post. There is a shining light in this situation that will hopefully count as repayment for the toddler terror years: I’ve got both boys and girls (2 of each), but the boys when they get older love their momma something special. Just you wait and see! I’m just an afterthought to my girls. They could care less. Meh. 😉
    Yum Yucky recently posted…Emergency Breakfast SyrupMy Profile

    1. vita88

      I have heard that and I really hope it’s true!! My mom and brother definitely had a very special bond and I’m Daddy’s girl all the way 🙂

  10. Melissa Burton

    Just saw this post (because I’ve been crazy busy) but I love it. Like you, I’ve given some idealization to the woman who was my mother figure who died while I was young and I’ve learned to appreciate parenting now that I’m a parent.

    While I can’t know what it’s like being a parent of a girl or even twins, I know that being a parent to a boy is wonderful. Mine is about to turn 7 and while he still loves Mom, he’s making that transition to wanting to be like his Dad. It makes me sad and when he wants me to read to him, play with him or just hang out, I make the effort because I know that time will go as fast as it’s already gone.

    I didn’t live to be a parent but I’m liking my life as a parent. I know your boys may be crazy but it’s true that they will mellow with age (even if we don’t) and as they get older they’ll be able to entertain themselves more than need you and it does get somewhat easier. I’m by far not the parent whisperer but I do know that from 5 to nearly 7 flew by. There’s a lot of growing up that happens and it all goes quickly. Enjoy those boys! xo
    Melissa Burton recently posted…Friday’s Featured Female – Melissa Dell@MelissaDell.comMy Profile

    1. vita88

      Thank you Melissa! As much as I complain about their behavior and the sheer effort it takes to raise them, I DO try to enjoy everyday with them. Time has already passed so quickly and they are no longer toddlers. I’m sure I will terribly miss the days of having to watch their every move and all that goes with being a little boy. I already do!

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