I’ll keep this short but, as I’m amping up to get back to normal on the blog on Monday, I wanted to share a few things that have gotten me though the senseless death of my friend. I’m so unbelievably grateful to have so many outlets and supports for my grief and I wanted to share and express gratitude.
First of all, a lot of you are horrible at following directions. Kidding. Although I did ask for “no comments” I was happy to read all the ones I received, both on the blog and via email, phone call or text. If the situation were reversed there would be no way I could remain silent either, so I get it, and love you all. Thank you.
They say there are five stages of grief. I think I’m still in the pissed off stage (and I’m certain that is one) but the following four things have kept me sane and, for the most part, off of my floor in a pile of tears and snot. You’re welcome for the visual and hope you’re not eating breakfast.
Wine: Yes, I drown my problems in alcohol and I think that’s extremely healthy. However, it can be tricky. One glass takes the edge off and allows you to tell all the great stories without wallowing in sorrow and getting angry. Four glasses just gets ugly – the ugly cry, the ugly feelings and the ugly words. I’ve resisted the urge to down a whole bottle since I can see this happening.
Running: It seriously is the anti-depressant of all time. I mentioned in my last post that running was the only time since I heard the news that I felt even a little bit ok, and it’s been helping me all week. I love that I can run alone or with good friends and it has the same effect. I’m so thankful I have this outlet because I wasn’t a runner when my mom died and I turned to harmful obsessive behaviors instead. Let’s just say that I feel much better the morning after a run then I did back in college when I was grieving my mom. #LessonsLearned
Friends: I had some reservations about writing the post I did on Monday. Grief is a funny thing, and (if you didn’t know) I’m pretty opinionated. I can’t tell you how happy it made me to receive all your emails, texts, phone calls and tweets (yes, even tweets!) expressing your support or telling me how you were passing it on with your friends. It was 100% what I wanted to create – just friends reaching out to say “I’m here and I love you.” I was able to cry happy tears for a change.
And, only a great friend who knows me too well, would send me this knowing I would laugh my ass off:
Family: It truly is everything. When my mom died everyone around me was a complete mess because we were all so devastated together. Though this experience I have been able to lean on my husband, and he has been there like a freakin’ rock. Never underestimate the power of just being with someone you love (and who loves you!) when you’re going through a bunch of shit. All I need is him sitting next to me and suddenly, everything seems more manageable.
Finally, I have some good and exciting news to share on Monday. It’s funny how things work out the way they do, and I’m almost convinced that everything happens for a reason. Almost.
What has gotten you though a tough time in your life?
Who can you lean on in your family?