I feel as though there should be a very dramatic “DUN DUN DUN” after that title. I also kind of feel like I shouldn’t even write this post. I mean, who really cares that I’m turning 40, 40 days from Monday?
I do.
The question is why do I care so much and what am I going to do about it?
Here’s a list of things in my life I never thought I would do: get married (no, I never dreamed of my wedding day, not even once) have kids (I wanted a yacht) be a stay-at-home-mom (just typing that makes me throw up in my mouth a little) and give a shit about turning 40. I can honestly say that I didn’t really care until about six months ago.
I love birthdays. I love celebrating in big ways. I love life. I love my life.
What’s not to love?
So, what’s the issue? I’m not sure.
Maybe it’s because of all those things, that turning 40 scares me. My wedding day is almost 10 years behind me. My kids will be in first grade in September and I’m no longer the adorable new mom of twins, but the haggard crazy-woman who is aging rapidly with each year of their growth.
My mom died of cancer when she was barely 43. A good friend of mine just died from cancer 10 months after her 40th birthday.
So there’s that.
I realize that’s it’s oh-so-boring to hem and haw over turning 40. It’s almost a cliche, yet here I am.
Of course “Jane” is a 20-something single mom. You’ll see Jane! It IS a puzzle! And thanks to Brittany from My Own Balance for the book recommendation. She is also not close to 40,
I’ve done all the preparation to ease the pain; to minimize the blunt force of the actual day. Ski weekends have been planned as well as a trip to Key West. I want to cover both ends of the spectrum when it comes to weather. I’m an equal opportunity kind of girl woman.
I plan to run not one, but two marathons and a few duathlons and triathlons this year. I’m very much embracing my new age group. Look out 45 year-olds, I’m going to be the young one in the group now!
I’m just getting warmed-up! (Do you think the guy behind me thinks it’s strange that I’m taking pictures of myself at the gym? Nah.)
There’s a lot I am looking forward to. After all 40 is just a number (another cliche!), and I have so many things I absolutely love about my life and about getting older:
I give a shit less and less about what other people think. It’s very freeing but you can also make a total ass of yourself and blame your age.
I rid myself of a toxic friendship and never looked back.
I take more chances both personally and professionally.
I absolutely love the boys age right now and the whole world that has opened up for us as a family.
I love watching my husband’s business grow by leaps and bounds. A business he started at the kitchen table in our apartment 8 years ago.
I love watching my triplets grow! Yes, that’s my husband as the Apple Jacks BoxTroll. How did those even get in my house?
So the question remains, what will I do with the 40 days I have left in my thirties?
Less.
A little bit less of something everyday.
I spend most of my time rushing around from one thing to the next, trying to be everything to everyone, including myself. I think it’s time to slow down, take life in, look around and appreciate.
Starting Monday, I’m going to chose one thing to focus on and do less of it. Here’s what I have so far:
Worry
Work
Stress
Movement (yep, that’s right. I’m going to SIT DOWN!)
Restriction
Yelling
Swearing (this one is for you Dad!)
Social Media
Complaining
Comparing
Judging (gulp)
Cleaning
Making (beds, dinner, demands)
I thought it would be easy to think of 40 things to less of but, it turns out that I need some suggestions from all of you. Give me some ideas to fill my next 40 days with less. Help an old lady out!
Give me something to do less of over the next 40 days
How do you feel about milestone birthdays?
What would you do less of?
I love this! Especially the 2 trips…I gotta remember that one in a few years! Oh and the pic of you in the gym – the guy is totally jealous of your legs. Just saying. Hmmm…something to do less of. Running? Hell no! How ’bout less time thinking of 40 things to do less of? 😉
Hahahaha – YES, to all of this and yeah there’s no way running is making the “less” list!
I will 40 in 2 years now and while no other age number scared me, this was does a bit and not going to lie. But I do love your approach on this and might very well have to take a page out of your book as I inch closer, too 😉
It’s weird how it creeps up on you! You should just start doing less now, to practice 🙂
I think its only natural to panic a little about it, but sounds like you are doing the right things to keep that perspective in check. I am afraid I am not much help with what to do before you get there, but all I can say is that I hope you are doing what feels right for YOU rather than what others will think you should do, as I think thats one big thing about as you grow, that you learn to listen to your heart, not anyone else’s 🙂
Exactly!!! People have a lot of opinions about it but I’m taking my own advice here and going with it. I try not to let my age mess with my mental game with all my races. And I seriously HATE the “age graded” finish times charts. Grrrrr.
I never would have guessed you are turning 40 soon. It sounds like you have a great idea of what you want to do in the next 40 days. I think we all panic before big events and I know I will when that time comes.
Thanks Hollie! It’s true that I’m not good with change so this is no different.
Big little lies was one of my favorite books in 2014. I am like you I never thought about getting married or having children I was like I’m gonna work my butt off and climb the corporate ladder lol no barbies for me as a little girl! Can I just say I want to be you when I turn 40?? You are amazing Allie and you are so strong and you certainly don’t look anywhere near 40. I like your list to do less of, I have to agree with worry but that’s is tough when you are a mom of boys.
I love this Nellie. Thank you so much! And you know it was exactly my boys that I had in mind when I put “less worry” on there. They have aged me!…but in the best possible way.
Eeep! 40! I will be 40 next year and I am already battling the thought. It’s like a weird deadline where I want to have accomplished certain things.
And seriously, we could be twins. I NEVER dreamed of getting married, wasn’t going to have kids, wanted the BIG career.
Here’s where we differ – I am the do less girl 🙂 I am so psyched to see where you are heading and am hear to support you! Whoop!
This year I have decided to worry less about what my kids will eat and won’t eat.
YES! I’m finally backing off and giving myself a break. You’re so right with 40 looming like a giant deadline or something. Why? That’s why I need to do less and just let it go! Thanks for all your support on this. xo
So the funny thing is I saw an article a few weeks ago about “Things you realize when your 39 going on 40” or something like that, and I thought I book marked it to send to you, but now I cant find it (going to keep looking)! Anyways, it pretty much says a lot of the stuff you already said about turning 40. I also let go of a toxic friendship a couple years ago…a friendship breakup, tough to do, but very liberating at the same time. Love the box pic btw, so funny! You have got a lot to look forward to in your 40’s, AND although I didn’t know you as the “new” mom with twins, I always think of you at the super cute mom with twins 🙂
Thank you so much Jess! I definitely want to read that article. You have a knack for sending me some of the best reads. Keep them coming and thanks!!
I would add less shaming, less doubting, and less numbing to a list for me. These are the big ones I struggle with. I’m 44 and don’t have a birthday around the corner right now, but I love your idea of letting go of all this yuck and making room for more of the good stuff. Happy happy upcoming birthday! You’ve inspired me to do less (of the negative) today!! And also to get planning on a beach trip!
Awesome! Perfect. You made my day. Love the additions to the list, especially ‘doubting.’ Now go book that trip!
Welcome to the dark side my friend…lol! Seriously, it’s not bad. I just turned 45 two days ago and I feel awesome! I take care of myself so I really don’t know what that age is “supposed” to feel like. It’s just the next age group in your races!
Happy (Belated) Birthday to you 🙂
I truly wasn’t bothered by this for the longest time and then something just flipped. I’m absolutely looking forward to the age group thing. In fact, I’ll be 40 for my first marathon this year. Hooray!!!
I remember turning 40 and being surprised that I cared, too. But I think what bothered me most–and still does–is that you really recognize how fast it goes (cliche!). And I think that’s where one gift of aging comes in: the gift of not sweating the small stuff and not giving a damn about what others think. In fact, I get better at that every day.
Great list and I love the concept!
OMG exactly Amanda! Life zips by and I just want to stop and take it in, which is why I settled on the “less” theme. You hit the nail on the head.
I turn 40 in May and for some reason it’s not bothering me…yet. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel like I’m 40? I don’t know, but I do know that it’s a hard year for a lot of people. I’m glad you are taking the time to think about it and make it work for you!
Age is a weird thing and it effects everyone so differently. I guess I was questioning this so much because I’m really SO happy with where I am in life but then there’s this big milestone! I’m glad you’re enjoying your 40th year and not feeling one bit like your age. Keep it up!
Love your title: 40 Days Until 40. The big 40 is upon me as well. April 29th-The Big Milestone. I am strangely excited and content with this milestone. I feel as though the sprinkling of gray hairs is just a reminder of my wisdom I have gathered over the years. I feel like 40 is my time, to do for “me”. 40 is the new elite group:)
It’s definitely an exciting one and I think you just never know how it’s going to feel until you get *this close*
I hope all your good feelings last and last!! And I love thinking of it as an “elite” group 🙂
I cared about turning 40 because everyone said I should. But I really didn’t – so far my forties have been pretty awesome. The age of my kids actually makes me feel older than the actual number does, and you have two little cuties to make you feel young!
Matt and I have a milestone anniversary in May – 20 years. Now THAT makes me feel old! But at least I’m old with him.
I feel like my kids are now “old” since they’re no longer babies, so I can’t imagine how I will feel having two teenagers! I don’t think it’s so much a number thing, because I feel great physically, so I guess it’s more mental. Yes, that’s it, I’m mental!!!…but you already knew that.
Haha, I love every word of this. I’ll be facing this in a year and a half too and I’m freaking out about it already! Hey, 40 is the new 20 my friend and I’m sticking with that. We are hotter and more in shape than a lot of 20 year olds!! And don’t stop swearing, that’s not fun 😉
Very true!! I remember after finishing a half-marathon with one of my much younger cousins a few years ago he asked “How old are you again? Because I’m picturing some of the 30 year-olds in my office and they’re nothing like you.” Damn right! 🙂
so far I’ve looked forward to every single birthday, 30 was exciting… but I do wonder about 40. Hoping I’m still just feeling like whhoop I did it again when that happens in 7 years!
Seven years? Good Lord you’re young Amanda!! I’m sure you will feel like a conquerer at 40 as well 🙂
If you are 40 days from 40, I want to be you when I get to 40. In three short years. You have one amazing life and I love that you’re celebrating it. xoxo
You are so awesome. xoxoxo
Less late nights? Assuming you do them 🙂
I’ll be 40 in 18+ months, and I’m kinda looking forward to it.
I do not. But I do very early mornings (5am wake-up anyone?) so I could possibly chill on that for at least one day.
I think my next birthday is milestone(ish). 35. My good friend just turned 40 today and she said, “What if 50 just comes way too fast?”
I said, “Let it come! Let it all come!”
She said, “Whatever, you 34-year-old.”
My father died at 36, though, and so I have a pretty major fear of aging in my 30’s.
That is definitely a milestone and any birthday that coincides with the death of a parent is a tough one. I don’t know about you but I’m curious to live all the birthdays my mom din’t get to. I think it will be so strange for some reason??
I LOVE this! I have been racking my brain trying to think of more things to add to your do less of list and I can’t…maybe thinking should be on mine…. hehe 🙂
This age stuff comes up on us so fast! I remember when I was younger and adults would always say just wait it will come sooner than you think and I would always think sure sure….but it does!!!!!!
I LOVE the idea of doing less because really in doing less of these things you will be gaining more…more memories, more moments, more of what matters!
LOVE 🙂
Exactly!!! And I could absolutely add ‘thinking’ to the list. Thanks Jen.
I dreaded my 40th birthday with every part of my being – I thought 40 was old because my mom was 40 when I graduated high school and she was OLD!!
Chris and the boys planned and pulled off a surprise birthday party (the only one I’ve ever had) and it was so much fun. I can truly say now that I’m half-way through my 40s that I have LOVED being 40something!!! You will rock everything about 40!!
I would say a good “less” is cleaning – it is so overrated and things just get dirty again anyway:)
I love that they threw you a surprise party!! I have never had one and I’m sure it would be awesome. I’m also sure that by the time I’m 40 and half I’ll be loving it as you are. Thanks Kim!
That first part about the things in my life you never thought you would do? YES to all of that! I too want to be you when I turn 40. Wait, when does that happen? Next year? I love the idea that you are going to less of one thing every day. Love it.
Thanks Christine! I know you can totally understand and you will be an awesome 40 year-old for sure!!
I’m so glad you are enjoying the book! I loved it!
I love the idea of doing less. I feel like with each birthday I always make goals to do more so doing less seems like such a great idea.
I think that milestone birthdays should be embraced. It’s fun to look at everything you’ve done by each age and what you thought you would have done by that age. I was scared to turn 30 but once I embraced it, it felt really good.
It IS fun to look at where I am vs where I thought I would be. I think that’s another reason for me to do less, so I have time to take it all in and really embrace it.
Thanks Britt!!
I love all birthdays, they’re so fun! You’ve got enough on that list. Too much would be overload. Swearing alone is difficult I’ve done it before and it requires more energy than I thought when you’re used to dropping f bombs to make a point, lol. You look amazing approaching 40, have fun looking fabulous on all the upcoming trips!
Oh I just know that no swearing day will be HARD!!! I mean really…how will I make a point? Hahaha. Thanks so much Joi!
I loved reading this. I will be turning 46 this year. I don’t remember feeling anxiety about 40, I had a little of what you are feeling when I was hitting 45. This year I’m almost in a panic (I mean, I’m most definitely past the halfway point and thats if I’m lucky) – so reading your thoughts and what you are planning to do…it’s good. And I like your ideas. I’m also sorry for the loss of your friend.
Thanks Stephanie! I guess it’s normal to kind of “take stock” every year. It’s just so crazy to me that I will actually be 40. It’s almost as if I just started paying attention!!
I came here from Christine’s blog… I am turning 40 shortly after you! (March 26). I’ve planned a roller skating 80’s birthday party. I’m jealous of your trip to Key West, we went last year a loved it! I think you have a great list up there and some awesome leg muscles! 😀 Cheers to 40!!
Thanks for visiting!! So cool we have the same milestone coming up. I love your idea of a skating party. I absolutely loved those as a kid!! Thanks again and happy birthday!!