What can I say? I’m just not a follower. Yes, I wear compression socks from time to time and I barely go anywhere during the week without my Garmin vivoactive tracking my every move and alerting me to every single online interaction I can possibly have (email, Facebook, Instagram, etc.) but there are still quite a few fitness trends I refuse to follow, or that I just don’t understand.

fitness

 

1. ATHLEISURE

I really do not get this one. Athleisure is supposed to be highly stylish athletic outfits you can wear to the gym and then to Target lunch with your hip and stylishly chic girlfriends afterward. Now, I have no idea what you look like after your workout, but I am a sweaty, smelly, snot rocket tainted mess. I am going nowhere but to the showers after a workout.

No one I have ever seen at my gym looks like this:

Screenshot-2015-12-30-19.06.45

I am definitely not going out in public after this, or any other workout. You are welcome.

MIIA9970

I know this is also a trend where zero workout is being done and you’re supposed to just parade around town looking as if you could break into a workout at any moment, or just look super athletic (but not too athletic) at all times. Pffff. When I’m not training, I do not want to put on workout clothes – stylish or otherwise. Plus, if I’m going to spend upwards of $80 on pants, they are most certainly not going to be the kind you sweat in. Ever.

2. MEDITATION

Arguably, I could use a hell of a lot more of this in my life however, I just don’t see how meditating before a workout is going to help things. I like to get revved UP prior to kicking my own butt for hours on end, not relaxed. If I’m about to get on a plane, I should drink heavily meditate, if I’m doing a 30 mile bike ride followed by a 30 minute run, I’m going to blast Missy Elliott and get psyched.

In case you need 10 Missy Elliott songs to add to your playlist, Brooklyn Active Mama has your back.

Misdemeanor does not meditate.

Misdemeanor does not meditate.

This is not to say that I don’t have meditative moments during my activities, I just don’t make a point of doing it prior to them.

3. FOOD IN A JAR

In almost every article, feed or post about food these days I see recommendations about stuffing it into a jar and then eating out of it, at a later time. Does this sound disgusting to anyone else?

alljarsoutsideFINAL

It seems to me like you have to start at the top and work your way down so you’re essentially only eating one thing at a time!? Isn’t the whole point of a salad to eat it all mixed together? I’m pretty sure whoever puts their food in a trendy jar like this just dumps it into a bowl, like the rest of us, when they actually go to eat it. Stop it.

4. BLING

I know I will get hate over this one but I will never understand running a race for the bling. And, I’m not talking about a Tiffany necklace because, of course, I’m talking about an actual medal that has a fancy design or is as big as your head or doubles as a bottle opener. Ok, that last one is pretty cool and I do have one in my kitchen, however I most certainly did not run the race because of it.

I do not understand any of this.

I do not understand any of this.

I absolutely love some of my race medals for what they represent but, I would donate them to a Children’s Hospital or any other charitable cause, in a heartbeat. Of course I would have to take them down from their place of high honor inside my garage.

I do have my beloved sword that I won at a local duathlon race but I had no idea that was prize. I even have video footage to prove it.

My interview is at 3:49…and was right after I crossed the finish line…

5. ONLINE FITNESS

I have tried many times to be a fan of this one but I just.can’t.do.it. I think the biggest issue is that I don’t like to workout at home. Yes, I have my bike trainer and treadmill set up but those are because I cannot bike during the winter or run in a lightening storm.

Who wants to workout at their desk? Not me.

Who wants to workout at their desk? Not me.

I also just don’t like having to follow someone on the screen because I feel like I get less of a workout unless I know the routine. I would definitely like to have my IronStrength workout on the big screen but, I use a printed out paper version that I now know by heart. #OldSchool

I’m sure I’m missing out by not indulging in some of these things but it doesn’t feel like it. I wish I was that super cool, trendy mom who looks like a model after her workouts, has all her bling in decorative shadow boxes, can stop, drop and meditate like nobody’s business and eat her photograph worthy lunch out of a vintage mason jar but, it’s not happening. I can only hope to embarrass my children some day with my utter un-coolness like my mother before me.

Dream big.

[Tweet “Are you a #trendsetter when it comes to #fitness? 5 #trends I don’t follow and why! #train4life”]

What fitness trends don’t you follow?

Do you do any of these? Please explain them to me!

 

%d bloggers like this: