Oh where to begin?  It was such a fun and funny weekend that seemed more like a week.  As you may recall, the boys were ring bearers (although they actually “beared” nothing) in their first wedding and I was a nervous wreck.

We live a short drive from the wedding location which is  also one of my most favorite cities – Boston!  I went to Boston University and some of my best memories are from that time and in that city.  I also ran the Boston Marathon in 2007 which was one of the best racing moments ever.  But this weekend we were there to celebrate my cousin and his bride as they exchanged vows at the Arlington Street Church.

 

What ma?  This isn't an indoor playground?

Have you ever seen a more mischievous smile?  Nothing good can come from that look, can it?

We met up with my dad, stepmom, my brother and his wife and kids when we first got into town.  Just as we were walking into the restaurant to greet them Vaughn turned to me and proceeded to puke all over the floor.  Oh boy.  Here we go, I thought.  I have no clue what prompted this and the people sitting having lunch right next to the whole scene were none too pleased.  They must not have kids.  My husband was busy apologizing to them and I was busy trying to have him project his puke anywhere but his new coat and my boots!  Like any four year-old, as soon as he got it all up, he was fine and we went on with the afternoon.  I tried to not read too much into that.  Surely that was not a sign of things to come…

The rehearsal actually went really well.  I mean they were acting as though the church was a gigantic playground but when they had to walk down the aisle with their other little buddy, it went off without a hitch!  Then Vaughn had to go to the bathroom.  Usually not a big deal however, he didn’t pull his pants down all the way and then sat on the toilet and started peeing all over his pants and when I swooped in to try and pull his legs and pants out of the way well that left the wall & floor open for his seemingly never ending stream of pee!  What the hell??  In 10 seconds he managed to get his underwear, pants, the wall and the floor of the church bathroom soaked with urine.  Oh I tell you people, I am living the dream!  You really haven’t lived until you’ve mopped up piss in your knee-high suede wedge boots while your hubs stands in the doorway laughing his ass off.  Lovely.

Onward to the rehearsal dinner which was so amazing, it made me almost forget I was just ankle deep in toddler pee.

We dined overlooking Fenway Park.  Not too shabby.

We dined overlooking Fenway Park. Not too shabby.

A table for two princes...

A table for two princes…

 

…to act like kids.  They had a ball.  Horrible pun intended.  Deal with it,

…to act like kids. They had a ball. Horrible pun intended. Deal with it,

 

Is there anything they can't make a cake of these days?

Is there anything they can’t make a cake of these days?

The next day we wanted to tire them out let them have a great time so we went to the Children’s Museum before the 4:30 wedding:

They did some construction work...

They did some construction work…

Sang a duet...

Sang a duet…

…and then we left them on the dock…but they followed us.

…and then we tried to leave them on the dock…but they followed us.  Vaughn must be able to track the scent of his own pee like an animal.

 

After a long day of walking, whining and playing it was showtime!  I waited until the last moment to get them into their white outfits.  They got such a kick out of the socks and the bow tie and they absolutely loved the hats!

We took this just before I left my hubs to try and keep them quiet and clean until it was time to walk down the aisle.  SUCKER!!!!

We took this just before I left my hubs to try and keep them quiet and clean until it was time to walk down the aisle. SUCKER!!!!

Then, all I could do was wait and see what happened.  I couldn’t believe the moment of truth was upon me.  I needed a drink.  I checked my phone 387 times to make sure my video function hadn’t  spontaneously disappeared.  All the briberies were in place:  they got a toy for doing so well at the rehearsal, Meme reminded them…ahem, they actually reminded Meme of the $5 promise and they had a promise of yet more toys if they just behaved!!  It all seemed so insane as I sat there.  I mean, really.  They’re four.  They look freakin adorable.  They will walk down the aisle just fine and it will be a great moment.  I got out my kleenex and braced myself for yet another mommy milestone.  It did not disappoint.

 

They stopped to give a shout-out to “Papi,” aka my dad who is their hero.  Miles had to boss everyone around a little (but thank God no violent threats!) and their little faces lit up when they saw me.

Just like that, it was over.  I was crying.  They did a great job and definitely stole the show.  I realized that so many “mom moments” are like that for me.  All my fears usually don’t come to pass.  The real scary stuff happens when you least expect it.  This was a fun time, a memory being made and how lucky I am to be here to witness it.  Life was good.

Now the part I somehow didn’t think about was how the hell I was going to keep them quiet through the rest of the ceremony when we were sitting in the third row!  Yeah, not happening.  They were liked caged animals and were in love with the sound of their voice echoing in the church with words like “Aw nuts!” and telling each other repeatedly to “shhhhhhhhhhhh,” ironically as loudly and with as much spit as possible.  As soon as the distraction of the first reading happened, I high tailed it to the back of the church where they could be somewhat contained.

The rest of the night was an absolute blast!  Our whole family was there and, after the kids went up to bed, my husband and I got to dance and drink and laugh and just live in the moment.

I had told my cousin that my wedding gift to him would be a visectomy.  “Don’t have kids!” I yelled at him as I made my way out of the bathroom on rehearsal night.  But the truth is, that’s the good stuff, that’s when life really begins.  I hope they have triplets.

 

What was the best wedding you’ve been too and why?  Have you ever had to clean up a public bathroom (or any public area) after your kids?