So, I’m not big on the whole “super mom” thing so when I was asked to read and review a new book titled Lose The Cape: Realities from Busy Modern Moms and Strategies to Survive I hesitated. I’m not sure if I’m just a horrible mother and/or person but, I don’t buy into the whole idea that because I happened to get knocked up and birth children, that I’m now in some sort of competition or mommy war. When I want to compete, you will know it.
However, in an effort to be more open-minded, I decided to give it read and try not to be such a bossy know-it-all. The result? Somewhat surprising.
Competition comes in many forms and, just because I compete with my body doesn’t mean there aren’t a whole ton of moms out there competing with their time, knowledge and crafting skills. It turns out that racing and super mom-ing are very similar.
Upon reading the content page of the book, I flipped (digitally of course) right to the chapter on “Finding Me Time,” since I feel highly skilled in this area.
Here are tips from the authors, Alexa Bigwarfe and Kerry Rivera, on how to wrangle the elusive alone time and then my thoughts on how it’s oh-so-similar to finding time to train (aka my ‘alone time’):
Tip #1: Create a Happy List
What moms do: Like any good list of accomplishments, the authors encourage you to be very specific on what truly makes you happy, and it can be a lot of little things – dog walking, having cocktails with friends every Tuesday or getting a solid 7 hours of sleep every other Saturday night.
What athletes do: Set a race schedule and then plan training around it. It’s very specific and, if you want to succeed, you don’t skip workouts and you ditch the mom guilt.
Let’s have a moment about mom guilt, shall we? It’s complete and total bullshit and here’s why:
1. You are a human being with wants and needs and you deserve to have your own life. Kids are a big part of that life but not life itself. Here’s some news: they grow up and move on if you do your job right. Think more about how to get to that end goal and perhaps you will have a mind shift.
2. Everyone agrees that “date nights” (another phrase I loathe) with your significant other are important. What about “solo nights/hours/days?” To be a good mom you need to have a good relationship with the kids’ other parent and you need a good one with yourself. Think about it. How can you love them if you don’t love you and want to spend some glorious time alone?
*gets off high horse with some difficulty*
Tip #2: Your “Happy” Can Come in Quick Spurts
What moms do: Tell your partner to take over for 20 minutes and then run!…Well you can but you have to come back. The point is, don’t shoot for the all girls’ weekend trip to the Bahamas, and maybe settle for a quiet cup of coffee by yourself or reading a few chapters of a book you’re dying to finish. Keep it simple and short and you can recharge and be ready to take whatever those little
monsters angelic children throw at you. Literally or figuratively.
What athletes do: This is why many, many runners spilt their distances between morning and night – run 3-6 (or 10!) miles before the kids get up and then do another 3-6 after dinner. You get your training in and the house continues to run like a well oiled machine.
This is what happens when mom doesn’t get enough “happy” time:
Tip #3: Occasionally, Go BIG
What moms do: This is when you go for that weekend in paradise with the girls! You deserve it. Talk with your partner, plan it and GO! This can be anything (a spa day, a race weekend, Vegas) as long as it makes you happy.
What athletes do: Big goal races are what it’s all about! From the Olympics to World Championships to iconic marathons like Boston, Chicago, London and New York. You know how athletes roll – go big or go home!…and you’re kids are at home so…
Now, perhaps you’re wondering how to lose your cape for good since that was promised in the title. It comes down to one word: CHOICE. Like racing schedules and training routines, moms make choices every single day to basically care or not care what everyone else thinks. If you love your kids and your goal is to keep them safe and happy, what else matters? Lose The Cape and don’t go looking for it.
You can look for (and buy) your guide to losing the cape HERE!
How do you lose your cape? Any cape – doesn’t have to be a “mom” one.
Do you feel pressured by other moms/friends/co-workers/partners?
What tip would you add?