By now, you’ve probably seen a plethora of glossy, perfectly filtered images from the Rise.Run.Retreat. No doubt your social media feed has been inundated with healthy food, epic runs, sculpted women and big cheesy grins from 10 bloggers at a retreat high in the mountains of Waterbury, Vermont.

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What you don’t know is what really happened before we individually conquered 13.1 miles at the Leaf Peeper Half Marathon on our last day there.

See that above picture? We didn’t even do yoga. We just posed for the shot and resumed our day drinking.

Here are more truths and behind the scenes moments…

What you saw:

Sue (ThisMamaRunsforCupcakes) hydrating like a boss before the race. As all runners know, proper hydration is of the utmost importance especially when exerting your body through a half marathon. Good job Sue! #wearesuperhydrators

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What really happened:

Even though Gatorade and Propel water provided us with enough electrolyte drinks and energy chews to power though 50 half marathons, it wasn’t enough to repair the damage.

The reason Sue, and all of us, had to drink a gallon of water on Sunday morning was because all we did was binge drink for three days leading up to the race.

Photographic evidence:

Don’t let Christine’s “water” bottle fool you. It’s vodka. #nicetry

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Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots…

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At least the amazing people at Cabot Cheese gave us a little sustenance to wash down all that alcohol. #proteinisamust

What you saw:

Hydration and fuel are two of the most important aspects of any runner’s life. We obsess about pairing proteins and carbs, how much fat is too much and how and when to suck down extra energy during a race. One of the highlights of the retreat was hearing nutritionist Jamie Sheehan speak at length about the specific dietary needs of runners. In fact, she was so impressive, I have reached out to her for a private consultation.

We were immensely proud of ourselves for nourishing our minds and bodies with Garuka Bars, Blissful Eats and Pete and Gerry’s eggs. Not to mention the scoops of creamy and delicious Stonyfield yogurt. All of these foods were Jamie approved! #congratulateyourself

Here is Jamie, chatting away to a very attentive audience…

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What really happened:

You have probably heard of a legend woman named Sheri Piers. No? Perhaps you have seen her…oh, I don’t know…racing blazing speeds at the Olympic trials or maybe finishing the Boston Marathon as the top American in 2012? If you need further prompting, how about top finishes at the USA National Masters Championships (yep, she’s over 40) in 2011 and 2012 where she ran a PR of 2:36:59 and has had first place masters finishes at Beach to Beacon (10K) in 2012 (34:23) and the Peach Tree Road Race in 2012 (34:38). In other words, she is a bad ass mother runner.

We were all very excited to hear about this master champion’s diet and training regimen after nodding in agreement with Jamie the RD and feeling very self righteous about our impeccable eating habits.

Sheri excitedly asked us, “do you really want to know the truth about what I had to eat today?” to which we eagerly shook our collective heads “yes!” What she said next, laid us flat – – she had a few handfuls of Skittles and diet orange soda. It was almost noon. This is normal for her. She also sleeps about 4 hours a night.

Now please go back and read all of her accomplishments again and then question everything you know about athletic nutrition.

Oh and, she runs every single day of the week and can’t recall when her last day off was. #boom #injuryfree

She’s smiling because she’s on a sugar high…

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What you saw:

Ten happy women running, racing, chatting and living in harmony under one roof for four days.

Almost everything we are wearing in this picturesque photo is from KUHL. You know you want to be like the KUHL kids.

Processed with Snapseed.

Stop it ladies! You are all just too much…

What really happened:

We were in a cabin in the woods with wall to wall bloggers. We didn’t actually speak to one another, unless it was though social media or texted emojis.

Here is a shot of Christine and Natalie having a “conversation.” #bloglife

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In case I have to spell it out for you, this entire post is bullshit…except for the part about Sheri Piers. That woman is the real deal and that is what she eats and how she trains. The rest was as amazing as it looked. #sorrynotsorry

[Tweet “You won’t believe what really happened @riserunretreat #fbehindthescenes”]

What are your “behind the scenes” confessions?

Do you eat and drink like Sheri? I’m starting to think I should!