By now, you’ve probably seen a plethora of glossy, perfectly filtered images from the Rise.Run.Retreat. No doubt your social media feed has been inundated with healthy food, epic runs, sculpted women and big cheesy grins from 10 bloggers at a retreat high in the mountains of Waterbury, Vermont.
What you don’t know is what really happened before we individually conquered 13.1 miles at the Leaf Peeper Half Marathon on our last day there.
See that above picture? We didn’t even do yoga. We just posed for the shot and resumed our day drinking.
Here are more truths and behind the scenes moments…
What you saw:
Sue (ThisMamaRunsforCupcakes) hydrating like a boss before the race. As all runners know, proper hydration is of the utmost importance especially when exerting your body through a half marathon. Good job Sue! #wearesuperhydrators
What really happened:
Even though Gatorade and Propel water provided us with enough electrolyte drinks and energy chews to power though 50 half marathons, it wasn’t enough to repair the damage.
The reason Sue, and all of us, had to drink a gallon of water on Sunday morning was because all we did was binge drink for three days leading up to the race.
Don’t let Christine’s “water” bottle fool you. It’s vodka. #nicetry
Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots…
At least the amazing people at Cabot Cheese gave us a little sustenance to wash down all that alcohol. #proteinisamust
What you saw:
Hydration and fuel are two of the most important aspects of any runner’s life. We obsess about pairing proteins and carbs, how much fat is too much and how and when to suck down extra energy during a race. One of the highlights of the retreat was hearing nutritionist Jamie Sheehan speak at length about the specific dietary needs of runners. In fact, she was so impressive, I have reached out to her for a private consultation.
We were immensely proud of ourselves for nourishing our minds and bodies with Garuka Bars, Blissful Eats and Pete and Gerry’s eggs. Not to mention the scoops of creamy and delicious Stonyfield yogurt. All of these foods were Jamie approved! #congratulateyourself
Here is Jamie, chatting away to a very attentive audience…
What really happened:
You have probably heard of a
legend woman named Sheri Piers. No? Perhaps you have seen her…oh, I don’t know…racing blazing speeds at the Olympic trials or maybe finishing the Boston Marathon as the top American in 2012? If you need further prompting, how about top finishes at the USA National Masters Championships (yep, she’s over 40) in 2011 and 2012 where she ran a PR of 2:36:59 and has had first place masters finishes at Beach to Beacon (10K) in 2012 (34:23) and the Peach Tree Road Race in 2012 (34:38). In other words, she is a bad ass mother runner.
We were all very excited to hear about this master champion’s diet and training regimen after nodding in agreement with Jamie the RD and feeling very self righteous about our impeccable eating habits.
Sheri excitedly asked us, “do you really want to know the truth about what I had to eat today?” to which we eagerly shook our collective heads “yes!” What she said next, laid us flat – – she had a few handfuls of Skittles and diet orange soda. It was almost noon. This is normal for her. She also sleeps about 4 hours a night.
Now please go back and read all of her accomplishments again and then question everything you know about athletic nutrition.
Oh and, she runs every single day of the week and can’t recall when her last day off was. #boom #injuryfree
She’s smiling because she’s on a sugar high…
What you saw:
Ten happy women running, racing, chatting and living in harmony under one roof for four days.
Almost everything we are wearing in this picturesque photo is from KUHL. You know you want to be like the KUHL kids.
What really happened:
We were in a cabin in the woods with wall to wall bloggers. We didn’t actually speak to one another, unless it was though social media or texted emojis.
Here is a shot of Christine and Natalie having a “conversation.” #bloglife
In case I have to spell it out for you, this entire post is bullshit…except for the part about Sheri Piers. That woman is the real deal and that is what she eats and how she trains. The rest was as amazing as it looked. #sorrynotsorry
[Tweet “You won’t believe what really happened @riserunretreat #fbehindthescenes”]
What are your “behind the scenes” confessions?
Do you eat and drink like Sheri? I’m starting to think I should!
I hope I’m not laughing too loud to wake up everyone in my house right now. This is the BEST!!! And FYI – it’s a legit laugh. No faking it needed. Although I might throw my head back and exaggerate it just because it’s more fun that way. Miss you and your witty ways! And I contacted Jamie about a private consult too. She’s one smart cookie! Speaking of cookies, Sheri definitely had me thinking I need more candy and cookies in my life to be like her. Lol!
Thanks for clarifying it was a real laugh 🙂 LOL!! < - - also real!
AH! It looks like you guys had such a great time. I would love to get involved next year! In this day and age, “only communicating in emojis” is basically law right?
Yes and I would LOVE for you to be there next year!!
Oh this post is awesome! I am definitely laughing! Love your sense of humor! We had so much fun!
You know how I like to “keep it real” on my blog–and this post is right up my alley. Nothing is as it seems.
And just say no to Skittles and diet soda. My stomach cramped up just reading that!
I know it’s SO you, which is why I love your blog 🙂
And OMG I could NEVER eat/drink like that on a rest day, let alone a training day. She was something else. You would totally love her too b/c she is as real as it gets!
I’m going to scratch all the inspirational quotes I’m pulling from everyone’s recaps and exclusively use quotes from this post to revise our website. LOL.
…and watch the applications roll in!!! 🙂
Haha this post is hilarious! I mean the drinking was why we had all if that Gatorade, right? Sheri was awesome and her realisticness about her diet was so appreciated. I’m considering contacting Jamie as well!
Of course!! 🙂
I spoke with Jamie today and she is fantastic!
heck to the yes!!! i could totally do this, this looks like a dream trip for me 🙂 ok this makes me want to blog (or take it more seriously) so i can attend one of these shin digs. this sounds like it was SO much fun, love it and so happy you had such a horrible time, wink wink. i had no idea it could be this fun. i need more people like you all in my life, lol. except i’m not that great with social media … i seem to check it sporadically between feeds. and have never opened a snap chat or whatever that is. but i am emoji obsessed so maybe i can still qualify. lol.
yeah i totally love Sheri and her for real diet. it is so refreshing to know a super badass like her doesn’t sit around making kale shakes all day and goes to bed at 6PM. not that i’m going to add skittles and diet soda to my diet – those are just not my thing – but it certainly makes me feel even better about my diet of coffee with lots of real sugar and real cream, ranch dip, handfuls of dark chocolate baking chips, baby carrots, and spoonfuls of ice cream throughout the day. i like a pop of sugar and caffeine before a workout, too. maybe there’s hope! LOL
happy FRIday!!! i’m on a roll. have a fab day, Ali!!!
Yes you are!!! LOL!
I would say you are overqualified to attend 🙂
The truth is that last night I had a glass of wine and chicago mix popcorn for dinner…. I do that about once a week. And once a week I have a glass of wine with cheese, nuts, apples, sopresseta for dinner….. I make my own little cheese plate and have that for dinner – but that is actually all healthy…. the chicago mix not so much. But for the most part I need to eat real food because I’m always starving. (For some reason I am again not getting your blog posts in my email, but since I know when you post, I’m just coming directly to your site… not sure if anyone else is having the same problem)
All that wine, cheese, sopresseta and Chicago mix sounds amazing!!
I’m beyond frustrated about the email thing!! Thank you for letting me know and hopefully I can fix it AGAIN!
LOL! You should submit this to the Onion. I hope everyone reads the last paragraph, especially for my sake! Ha! This is hilarious!
HAHAHA!! I was thinking I should make that last sentence a little more prominent!! 🙂
OMG dying. So clever. I have never heard of this retreat. Glad you all had a great time!
Thank you 🙂
It really is an amazing retreat. You should check out the web site and think about attending next year!
Ha- love it! Especially the “conversations” between bloggers. 🙂
You know how it goes, right Laura?
You were missed!!
GOOD LUCK this weekend! You WILL do amazing!
OMG. Jerold just looked at me like I was crazy as I am sitting in bed absolutely cracking up over this. You are GENIUS Allie. This is so freakin hysterical!! I love all the pics!!! I hadn’t seen the one of Christine and I – so funny!! Don’t you love how much we bonded?!
Love, love, love. I miss you!!! I can’t wait to do this all over again! xo
LOL – I’m so glad it had the desired effect 🙂 And YES it truly was a bonding weekend that I wish could happen monthly!!
This is my favorite post ever! And thanks for outing me and my emoji conversations and vodka habit haha!
I figured you could handle it 🙂 Thanks for the HUGE compliment as my analytics tell me this is your 1,000th comment. < -- also not true