Like most kids in America, I loved Halloween growing up. Then, I went through a period where I didn’t think much about it, and just wondered if there would be a great party invite where I didn’t have to dress up. Yes, I used to be that girl who didn’t want to dress up for Halloween. And then, I had kids and, much like the Christmas holiday, they brought the magic back to Halloween – in spades – and I love it all over again.

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There’s been a lot of talk out on the inter webs, and in my circles of friends, about how much Halloween has changed, and how all the Pinterest moms try too hard, and what a total rip-off Pottery Barn costumes, candy buckets and table displays are. And, as much as I wholeheartedly agree with all of those sentiments, I don’t really care how anyone else celebrates Halloween.

However you celebrate, it’s about creating memories, some of which will last a lifetime.

With that in mind, here are some of my most fond, crazy and downright stupid Halloween memories:

1.  Although my mom did not eat healthy by any stretch of the imagination, she must have gone though a Jane Fonda moment one October because I remember a year of giving out God-awful items. Basically, anything besides actual candy on Halloween is “God-awful!” This one particular year she handed out little cloth ghosts (which she demanded I help her with) and instead of using a Tootsie Pop for the head, she used pennies! Pennies! WTF? I’m pretty sure they were used as weapons because, what the hell else are you going to do with a ghost head filled with 20 cents?

TRICK! It's filled with pennies!

TRICK! It’s filled with pennies!

2. Using a pillowcase as a treat bag. We didn’t decorate it, have a special “Halloween” one or order it online (because there was no “online”) but simply plucked it from the linen closet minutes before heading out the door.  I guess we tried to think of the largest sack available on premises in which to carry our loot. There would be nothing worse then actually filling your treat bag with more houses to go! Now that is scary.

3. The year my mom dressed me as an old lady with saggy boobs. This is evidence of child abuse. I don’t know what my problem was, but I somehow ended up on Halloween night with no costume. I was probably being overly picky and stubborn. So, my crafty mother racked her brain and came up with “old lady” complete with sagging boobs down to my waist. I was scarred for life, and I can still hear her laughing hysterically at the sight of me. I can only hope to torture my children this way someday. In her honor of course.

This is adorable. I assure you, I was not. If only I could find that picture!

This is adorable. I assure you, I was not. If only I could find that picture!

4. When I lived in Los Angeles for a few years, we used to have grown-ass adults come to the door with plastic bags in hand, waiting for us to fill them. They didn’t even bother to dress up! At least, I don’t think they were…tough to tell. The first time it happened I was so shocked that I just gave them candy. When I mentioned it to co-workers the next day they just shook their heads like “Yep, that happens.” What the…????

5. Egging my eighth grade teacher’s car. There, I’ve finally confessed it to the world. Trust me, I was punished. The teacher never found out, but I was so worried about what I had done, that I didn’t sleep all that night and almost made myself sick with guilt. By some miracle, it started raining in the early morning and I remember actually praying the rain would wash the egg away and she wouldn’t see it.

If only the eggs had been harder to get!

If only the eggs had been harder to get!

I was never so afraid to go to school in my life (well, at least up until that point!) but she never said a word and I figured the rain had worked. To this day I have no clue if she ever saw the egg plastered on the back window of her Buick station wagon. I’ll tell you this – I never did anything like it again. I figured that was my one free pass!

Happy Halloween everyone! May you have a great costume, get wonderful treats and have zero eggs thrown at you.

 

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You know that after midnight on Halloween it’s officially winter, right? Here’s some ways to get in your winter workouts a la my latest Learnist board.

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