That’s right. I don’t seek balance because I know that’s not really what I want, and if you’re being honest with yourself, it may not be what you want either.
There’s a lot out in the atmosphere about this elusive “balance” and why it’s so important to achieve it. Especially for women. I don’t see men worrying all that much about it, but maybe that’s because they either think they already have it or, they just don’t care.
I was prompted to write this when I read a quote by a hero of mine, Sheryl Sanberg:
Of course there isn’t. There can’t be. As much as I want to say to young girls & boys everywhere “You can have it all!” I think it’s a total lie. You can’t. Unless you want to do some of that “all” pretty poorly.
I realized this when I was running a successful personal training business, racing a ton, and then had twins. Now, granted, two babies at once is a little more then I bargained for but…there was absolutely no way I could give my business, my training and my kids 100%. It just wasn’t happening. Of course, my kids won that battle and I sold my business and focused on training and raising my kids. I was unbalanced because the part of me that was an entrepreneur and business woman was dormant. So I started writing. Luckily for me that has turned into a passion for blogging (and my fellow bloggers) and a part-time writing gig at Fitbie but, I’m still unbalanced.
It all comes down to choices. We all have them, and if we really wanted balance, we could choose wisely.
I choose to run/bike/swim/teach fitness classes, a lot more then I do almost anything else. It’s totally unbalanced, and I like it that way. I love to train hard for whatever my next endeavor is (or isn’t) and I choose to start my day sweating. If I wanted more balance, I would choose to do other things.
The problem with this realization is that I now cannot complain when I don’t have enough time to do other things. Bummer.
Now, of course I spend a ton of time with my kids. There are also things that must be done like laundry and grocery shopping. However, my friend Tara of Family, Sport, Life made an excellent point in a recent post about want versus need. As in: “I want to go for a two hour run,” or “I need to pick up the boys by 1pm.” See how that puts a little hitch in your giddy-up? Some things do not allow for choice however, I chose (happily) to have my kids and everything that comes with producing well-rounded, polite, successful, healthy little gentlemen and that takes a ton of work and time. Choices.
Let’s look at some of the most successful people, or those we look up to or admire, like my friend Sheryl Sandberg. Picture your “hero” or whoever has had a big impact on your life. Now think about what they do with their time. Are they balanced? Chances are, they aren’t.
To be the very best at what you do (Olympians), or to hone a given skill or craft (Beyonce), takes a lot of time and energy. Period. Where is the balance in that? There isn’t, but that’ s ok. Does that make you think any less of that person? Probably not because you get it, you can understand and maybe even identify with it. Balance is a myth.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t at least try to sort things out a little bit. One of my favorite blogs, after all, is titled My Own Balance by Brittany B. I think it’s safe to say however, that she believes in the following:
Exactly! Does everyone need downtime? Yes. Should I add a little binge TV watching to my racing schedule? Of course. But does that mean you’re living a balanced life? I don’t think so.
Maybe, the most important thing is to live a HAPPY life.
If you’re unbalanced, but doing things you love and surrounding yourself with people who love you, then who needs balance? Be honest with yourself about the choices you’re making and what may really be holding you back from achieving your goals. It’s probably not balance, but just what you chose to do, and how you chose to spend your time.
In the end, we all die. My hope is that you die happy.
Are you balanced?
Is being balanced important to you?
Share a favorite quote about balance or lack of…