In my first ‘official’ race as a member of Team Oiselle, I was the second woman overall. About two minutes after crossing the finish line, I heard the announcer yell “And here comes our second place female!” Um, hello? I’m over here, and I crossed a little while ago. This is what I looked like, coming into the finish:
Definitely not the most flattering picture, and I was hesitant to send it to Oiselle as my new cover photo for my athlete page. In fact, when I told the story to my friend (who finished fourth) about the announcer missing me as the second female, she laughingly suggested Oiselle make me a shirt that reads “I’M A WOMAN!” It was funny and we both laughed about it, but this wasn’t the first time I’ve questioned what other people may think about me and my, um… physique. The short hair isn’t doing me any favors either.
And then I read the article Lauren Fleshman (a fellow Oiselle teammate, albeit a big tier above me!) wrote in Runner’s World, titled: Do I Look Like A Man?
I couldn’t open the link fast enough because I thought “Finally! Someone else gets it.” This is the picture that accompanies her article:
At least you have long hair Lauren!
She wrote it after she strut her athletic stuff on the runway in NYC, for the second year in a row, to debut the new Oiselle running kit during fashion week. Later that night, when she was browsing the local media’s take on the line, she saw the above picture on Facebook and, although there were tons of positive comments, the one negative one jumped out at her. The one that simply read: ‘She looks like a man.’
Instead of replying only to the comment author, she replied to us all:
“At what point does physical strength become a trait reserved for men? When exactly do you cross the line? Is it the same point where courage becomes having balls? The same point where getting it done becomes manning up? Why is there no female corollary for these terms? And why do I, as a feminist, continue to use the dude ones?”
Fleshman decided it’s high time we ladies “woman up!” Now, I’m not one for corny rallying cries. I don’t think “strong is the new skinny” and I’ve never shouted out a “you go girl!” but I’m 100% behind the concept of upping my woman.
Why indeed are muscles reserved for men? I don’t think Halle would agree with this at all.
No one ever said she looked like a man. Ever.
Or my friend Nikki who killed it in a Figure Competition two years ago:
Wa-BAM!
For those of you who don’t know, when a woman passes or beats a guy in a race, it’s called being “chicked.” No sexist undertone in that, right? I prefer the Ragnar term of “kills” when passing another runner. At least there’s no gender bias involved.
So, how am I going to “woman up” and answer Fleshman’s rally cry? By being my authentic self. I work hard to build these muscles and improve my speed and strength. My body is a direct result of logging countless road miles, swim laps and bike revolutions. My body created two perfect human beings – – at the same time! My body, as Oiselle’s Kristen Metcalf so awesomely put it, when she tweeted out my racing photo, is “Fierce feminine!” Yeah, I’m sticking with that!
How are you going to ‘woman up?’
What do you think about this message?
What do you think about women with muscles?
First of all women with muscles are sexy! My husband comes and hold my arm always trying to get tickets to the gun show but what he doesn’t realize is that it’s a show for one–him lol! I was at the Oiselle fashion show (still need too put that post up thanks for the reminder!) and the women were simply amazing I was in awe of their femininity. The trolls will always exist. They will be horrible and sit behind their computers looking for negative things to say and that will never end.
Kudos to you for not knocking that silly announcer out. You already know how gorgeous you are!!!
That’s right mama! We’re bringing sexy back 🙂
I think I was just too fast and he missed me! hahaha!!! I guess I’ll have to come in first next time.
Oh geez, you can’t imagine how I hate that! I am a long way from achieving your physique. With working full time (now having two jobs), I cannot put in those hours unless I decide to give up sleep entirely which already seems like I’m working my way to that point by getting up at 3:30 every morning. My goal is to achieve your level (or close) of athleticism. My husband, on the other hand, likes me “soft” and would hate it if reached my goals because to him I wouldn’t look like a woman. On the one hand I’m happy that he isn’t expecting me to be that way but I don’t want to be criticized for it either if I do. You have an amazing physique and should be proud of your accomplishments! There is no “man” about you!! Those people can go fuck themselves if they think otherwise.
Hahaha! Thank you SO very much Kris. I absolutely agree with you and, my husband is forever telling me I’m too skinny. In response I just give him “the look” and promise to be very much overweight when I’m 80 and see how he likes that!!
Allie! I wrote about a similar thing today!!! Even including a bit about Lauren Fleshman and her post. We must be on the same wavelength…..you will definitely like my story today! And for the record, HECK NO! You are beautiful and strong as you are, never change! 🙂
Yes! This article reminded me of yours, Tina. Finally, the world is changing. What bothers me is, why put hate on other people’s successes like that? I don’t understand how people an be so cruel and inconsiderate.
It happens and I’m just glad that it sometimes happens to someone as fabulous as Lauren Fleshman so she can fight back and stand up! Thanks Linda.
How cool is that??? Cannot wait to read your post!
I love you to death. You are fabulous and gorgeous and fit and strong and badass and a tremendous athlete and a great mom. Boom. Boom. Boom! I can keep going 🙂
Right back at you mama!!! Nothing but love here!
I absolutely adore you and seriously you never cease to amaze me. You are just perfect the way you are and sadly I am the girliest girl you will ever find, but still I truly look up to you and only wish I could be more like you!! 😉
Janine! You are too sweet. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. THANK YOU!
Strength is strength. People who take care of their bodies are people who take care of their bodies. Courage is courage. There is no gender attached to any of those things. Just our own unique characters, values and personalities. You are an incredibly strong, beautiful person.
You put that so well, Leah! Thank you so much.
What you look like is insanely FABULOUS my friend!! And I love your sunglasses! You rock! :)-Ashley
Hahaha! Thanks Ashley. I actually didn’t mean to wear those, but had nowhere to put them but on my face when the race started!
Fierce féminin–love that term! it is definitely high time that we accept and promote muscles on women. C’mon folks–it’s 2014 and we have long since arrived. And I will admit–i wish I had a more muscular build. My body doesn’t pack on muscle easily and I always envy those with a bit more of that natural body type. Of course, I could also choose to do more strength training to achieve that, but I also do what I love most, which is running. Which brings me to this: as long as we are fit, healthy and happy, there’s room for all of us and it’s time society embraces that.
*applauding and nodding head in total agreement*
You are beautiful and I would never mistake you for a man! And I love that term fierce feminine…totally describes you!
Thanks Michelle! Maybe I should change the name of this blog to “Fierce Feminine!”
I’ve never understood why people think muscular women look like a man. If that is what they are saying then by the same token wouldn’t a man lacking in muscle look feminine? But I never see that posted on a man’s photo. I think people who say this are not comfortable with themselves enough and deep down they know they lack the discipline to get in such good shape. Instead of turning things inward they turn it outward. I’ve never once thought you look like a man. Have to admit, I covet your muscle.
Carla, you are awesome. You put this so brilliantly and yes, shouldn’t it be the same for non-muscled men? I have to admit that I sometimes think a very skinny, long-haired guy at the front of the pack is a woman! Thanks for this 🙂
Even objectively speaking, I’d think that photo was a woman. And I’ve met you, and you – to me – look very much like a woman. And Scarlet lives in ambiguous Northampton land, and many people DO confuse her, but you don’t.
Anyway, I know that’s not the point.
You are perfectly you, just the way you are. Fierce feminine.
Hahahaha!!! That is funny!!…because it’s true. Thanks Tamara 🙂
Chicked – really? That’s offensive. There are muscles from working out (like you), and there are muscles from serious competitive weightlifting. Those competitors don’t look like men, and they have more muscles than 99% of males. They don’t look like the traditional curvy woman, though. So why can’t a woman be defined in both of those ways? We all have the same plumbing.
I don’t have as much muscle as I’d like, but when I look in the mirror while doing repetitions I think I look fierce. Almost as fierce as you.
Ferocity comes from the inside and you absolutely HAVE IT! It comes though your writing…
Thanks Dana!
First, I think you are beautiful and would know right away that you are a female – a strong one at that!!!
If I could have the muscles you do, I would in a heartbeat – I try but I don’t know if my body type will allow it. A friend and I have discussed that fact that sometimes those of us who are a little taller don’t get the same muscled look no matter how hard we try. I will keep trying because if I ever looked like you do in that picture I would be ecstatic!!!
Thank you, Kim, and yes it has so much to do with genetics and body type, because I know you train like an animal. You are strong (and fierce) inside and out, and can rock a pair of cowboy boots with a dress like nobody I know!!
I wish I had your body. Truth.
(wish I had the discipline and know-how to make that happen!)
Right now (mostly) all that disciplined needs to be channeled into one thing – all your beautiful children. xoxoxo
First of all that announcer has to get his eyes checked bc in no way, shape or form do you look like a man there. You look like a hot woman who just killed it in the race!! You have the best figure around- I’m jealous. My sister is built the same way and i’ve been enviable my entire life!!
*envious
Thank you Charlotte! I really appreciate you saying that and, I absolutely love my body but sometimes I get that “muscle masculine” thing.
When I met you I thought to myself, “wow she is really strong” and then I learned you were a mom of twins and thought “hell yeah she is!” Besides that you are a gorgeous lady so that announcer must have been blind. I love the term “woman up” and I am going to change my vocabulary from now on. Thanks for the inspiration.
That is awesome!!! Thank you so much Patty!
Fierce feminine indeed!! I love you and love that you wrote this. You look so freaking amazing and strong which reflects YOU. I mean, it’s kind of crazy that we are still having this conversation in 2014 but yes, let’s #WomanUp.
Love you right back! Thank you Christine!!!
I strive for muscle definition! My daughter is a competitive cheerleader and she spends hours at the gym for practice and conditioning. She loves it and has great muscle definition not to mention strength. Very now and then someone at school will make a comment about girls shouldn’t have that much muscle (or something like that). It’s confusing and frustrating for her and irritating to me. We’ll get through these teen years 🙂
That is awful. I cannot imagine having to go through this as a teenager. I think it’s awesome that cheerleaders are cross-training! I love watching those competitions on TV and I can definitely see why they need to train. Luckily, she has a great mom to help her though those rough years.
I have to think the guy just didn’t see you cross the line. And if he did, what a blind moron!!! Women should have muscles, we work hard for them, and we should show them off. Like any other ridiculous, nasty, petty crap that you all-too-often read in comments in blogs and social media, I honestly think it all comes down to the commenter’s fear, narrow-mindedness, jealousy and spite than actually being valid points. And I LOVE “fierce feminine.” I’m going to use that!
Thanks Carly!! You always say just the right things!!
I’ve been a little social media quiet lately and I just read this post. I love it! I think you are one of the most gorgeous women I know inside and out. You’re dedicated to health and it shows. You have muscles but there is nothing about you that masculine! Your strength is something you’ve worked hard for and I’m glad that it shows!
You’re a competitive runner but I’ve seen you in the field and you’re encouraging and supportive as well as strong, fast and happy and I think everyone would say that’s picture perfect.
To me, you represent everything that a woman can be, in every way possible. People are multidimensional and those that only judge by the surface have their own limitations to blame.
F#%^ the jealous haters and go on with your bad self – that sounded much better in my head than it reads.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this Melissa. I am truly taking it to heart. I love what you wrote about “seeing me in the field,” because I absolutely love cheering for and encoring other friends, and runners in general. As always, you made my day with your thoughts. THANK YOU!
Strong is sexy! Way to embrace women’s right to be buff. If anyone has a problem with it, it’s because they’re intimidated.
Hell yes! I’m totally going with that. Thanks Whitney.
Fierce feminine is right! You go girl 😉
Right on Kate!
I think muscles are equally useful, for men or women. I’m not built, that’s for sure, but very skinny, curveless, and tall for someone living in Asia (5’5″, and the shortest adult in my family), and in high school I had a pixie cut and was mistaken for a boy frequently. Now with shoulder length hair and wearing more feminine clothes I don’t get mistaken any more–it’s not really the best feeling, although now I think I’d laugh, in high school my feelings were probably a little more tender.
Oh I wish I had your height!! HAHAHA!!! I’ve been mistaken for being a boy my whole life…but also for being much younger then I am so I’m ok with that! Thanks for reading and for your comment.
when I first saw you at Fitbloggin my first impression was this girl is an ATHLETE! One look at your arms and I knew that you work hard and mean business. My second thought was damn I wish I had those arms:) I admire your physique and gosh darn I woman that body has done amazing things!! More power to you!
Thank you so much Sarah! I’m so glad we met at FitBloggin’ and I cannot wait to meet up again!!
Allie, you ROCK! I love this post, and I think you are a superwoman! I’m glad that so many women around the web are talking about body image this week. I think all of us ladies need to keep the dialogue going! And, if it means anything, I would kill for your shoulders! You are a truly inspirational athlete (regardless your gender!).
Thank you so much! And YES, we all need to be on the same page. Strong women unite!!
First of all, neither of you look like a man at all. Whoever says that is just plain stupid. Second, I really like your point that muscles shouldn’t be reserved for men. I saw the photos from the Oiselle fashion show and I thought the women looked great in that show. I also love the Athleta catalogs because I think the women are so inspirational in those. I think we should ignore the naysayers!
Agreed! Athletic fashion is really starting to come into it’s own and I LOVE that. Especially since I wear workout clothes 90% of the time!!
I love, love, love this post. Thank you for writing it! I think you look amazing and would gladly trade arms with you any day of the week. LOL!
Hahaha! Thanks Jes!!
Why do you give a flying f***k about what anyone thinks of you? Everyone it seems these days, is jumping on the bandwagon of being ‘offended’. It’s the trendy thing to do, it’s the victim mindset so prevalent today and encouraged by this liberal society that devalues, condemns and nearly demonizes the elites, the Alpha Females and Alpha Males (in any sector).
I happen to love muscle. I think Nikki is the ultimate feminine figure, and yes, I’d love to have 75% of her musculature and power. Fierce and Feminine, impressive, She takes my breath away.
I love to get ‘chicked’, at anything. By the way, the last time I heard someone utter the words was in a 10k as 2 girls ran down this guy near the finish (as one uttered it to the other, so the guy could hear as they went by I may add).
So this idea that getting ‘chicked’ is a Male driven pejorative term to denigrate Women is pure BS! Women are more than happy to employ it. Sexism is just a convenient excuse to neatly wrap up insecurity, on both sides!
Whatever happened to growing a thick skin? Whatever happened to telling someone to f**k off? Whatever happened to striving to be the best to rise above mediocrity and be at the Apex? Or is that just not politically correct? Perhaps you should be more modest and quench your ambitions in order not to ‘offend’ those not fortunate enough to rise to the occasion?
Whatever happened to you being comfortable in your own skin, to you being 100% aligned with who you are, what you want to be, and how you’re going to accomplish it? Political correctness, sexism, and all these other moronic labels are perpetrated on the masses by political agendas cooked up by lobbyists in Washington, they have nothing to do with reality.
I love muscles on a Woman, I despise a sickly, anorectic thigh gap.
Well said (written) Claude! And I wrote that post quite a while ago but I definitely have days of less than 110% confidence. However, I’m very comfy in my skin and I love my body for so many reasons, which is why I’m working my ass off every day toward my goals. My body (and mind) are a direct result of that so how could I not be proud.
Always love your perspective and, I still see the pain in some guy’s eyes when I chick them. #DealWithIt 🙂
Needed to see this today. Thank you for posting and for responding with grace to comments.