I may as well be talking about drinking because when I think, five years after their birth, that I have twins! My next thought is that I need a drink.

Shockingly enough, a lot of people say “Oh I want(ed) twins!” when I tell them I’m a twin mom.  My first thought is, these people are insane.  My second is along the lines of “oh bless their hearts, they have no idea what they’re talking about.”  It’s like anything else – running a marathon, getting married or having kids – you don’t know what kind of hell you’re in for, until you’re in it.


Now, yes of course I love my kids (and my sweet, sweet husband!).  And yes, there are twin moms out there who haven’t a clue what I’m talking about when I whine and complain about how hard it is to raise them.  I don’t know who those moms are and, moms with twins plus other kids or moms with multiple sets of multiples (I’m looking at you Shannon!) deserve some sort of award.  But…I digress.

Miles and Vaughn will be five years-old this Sunday.  I’ve stopped wishing that there’s a magic age they will turn and will suddenly sit and play quietly and nicely.  It just ‘aint happening.  If I want to have a pleasant experience at Target or the grocery store – I leave them home.  I’m sure this will be the same now and 10 years from now.  I’ve come to terms with that, and I love them for it.  How can they be calm when I’m their mother?

In celebration of my boys turning five, I give you the gift of reality X2 (of course):


What people say:  Oh you’re lucky!  One pregnancy and two kids!

The reality: I felt very lucky to gain 45 pounds, have to stop running, go to doctor appointments 15 million times over the course of 37 weeks and be scared shitless that they would be born weighing 1 pound each and spend eternity in the NICU.  It was really a dream come true.

I am not feeling lucky.

I am not feeling lucky.  And this was only 34 weeks….I think?

Baby Shower

What people say:  It didn’t really hit me that you’re having two babies until I looked at your registry and saw that you had two of everything.

The reality:  I really need some smarter friends and YES, it hit me that I needed two of everything when I was at Babies R Us for 15 hours and got carpel tunnel from using the f**king scan gun to tag everything I was going to need for these two!  Luckily we just built a new house, otherwise we would need to rent one of those trailers you see at schools just to store the diapers!

I was crying my eyes out when this was first put together.  It was HUGE!

I was crying my eyes out when this was first put together. It was HUGE!  Luckily I only had to use it for a few months, and we didn’t get out much.


Toddler Twins

What people say:  Other then “double trouble” and “how do you tell them apart?,” next on the list is “they have a built in playmate.”

The reality:  We have a built in WWE match in our home. Constantly. They cannot so much as pass each other in the hallway without throwing an elbow or a smack upside the head!  They are drawn together like two magnets and literally have to be pried apart in all situations!  They have also always shared a room (splitting them up for bedtime is considered to be the worst punishment) and they often sleep in the same bed.  After they wrestle one another to sleep of course.

My Reality:

Though it all, I consider myself to be one of the luckiest women on the planet to be their mom.  To bear witness to the miracle that is Miles and Vaughn is something to be cherished.  The bond they have is like nothing I have ever seen and surpasses even what they feel for me at times!  Can you imagine spending almost every moment with someone from before you were born?  It’s not something most people can understand, or worse, will ever know even with a spouse or partner.

This pretty much says it all!

This pretty much says it all!

I’m lucky because I see them growing together, yet independently, every day.  I see the little funny and wise men they are turning into and most of all, I get to hear their little voices calling me “Mom!”  What could be better then that?  Happy Birthday boys.  You’re the best thing that ever happened to me!

Did you ever want to be a twin mom or are you one?  Do your twins make you crazy?

How do you feel when your kids have a birthday?