Technology is a curse and a blessing. I grew up in the 80’s and therefore, without cellphones, laptops or xbox ones. I’m pretty sure I was better off. I remember gazing quizzically at my brother’s very first iPod. It was roughly the size of a deck of cards and I couldn’t fathom why anyone would prefer that thing over making mixed tapes. And right there is where the differences begin with me and Steve Jobs.  I had zero vision of the impending Apple world takeover that was about to occur.

Apple

Fast forward 15 years and I feel as though I literally cannot live without technology. My iPhone is the bane of my husband’s existence (ever since I started blogging!) and I own three iPads, two iPods and a MacBook Pro. I’m so intertwined with Apple, it’s ridiculous. Which, of course, is where the problem lies.

As recently as last summer, I didn’t own a Mac. I decided it was high time for all my Apple products to happily sync over the cloud, and so I headed to the Apple store 45 minutes away. Crazily thinking someone would want to help me, since I was willing to dish out over a grand for a laptop, I envisioned a pleasant greeting. Instead I was halted by an iPad-wielding gustapo at the front of an empty store.

You see, I was there at 10am (SAHM hours) and there wasn’t a soul in the store. However, I wasn’t allowed in without an appointment. Seriously. Apparently everything at the Apple store is done on an iPad or it isn’t done.

And so began my list of the things I hate about Apple:

1. The iPad Thing: In any Apple store on the planet, you will be greeted with someone holding an iPad. As they “talk” to you, they will tap away at it and then direct you to another iPad-wiedling person, depending on why you’re there. They have color coded them in terms of tasks – blue for genius bar waiting, red for one-on-one waiting and silver for I’m-smarter-and-cooler-then-you waiting. Do you see the word these all have in common? That’s right. As Jerry Sienfeld famously said, “You can TAKE the reservation but you don’t know how to KEEP the reservation!”

This is exactly what it feels like!

This is exactly what it feels like!

2. Updates, updates and more updates: These didn’t really bother me until this last go-around. Why? Because I have a 13.2GB phone. The latest update takes up 4.8GB of space! I tried deleting most of my pictures and videos (for a blogger this is like sticking toothpicks under your nails!) and I still don’t have enough room. How can they make a 13GB phone and then give you an update that requires 4.8GB of space? I’ll tell you why – so you’re forced to either buy more storage or buy the new phone.

Suck it Apple!

3. New phones: Yes, as long as I’m an Apple customer, there will always be a new phone. I understand that it’s a business and they have this crazy scheme to turn a profit. However, I don’t like to be bullied into getting the new phone. I want to at least feel like I can chose to get it. And when I so chose, I actually want to be able to get the f-ing phone.

You'll never get that new phone!

You’ll never get that new phone!

I’m not going to stand in a line outside of the store at midnight just to get one. However, I waited a few weeks to order mine. At first they said three weeks, which in and of itself is ridiculous. Now, I received an email saying it may not ship until Nov 14th. WTF? For a company that defines technology, how is it no one there has mastered supply and demand?

FU Apple.

4. The ramifications of not updating: So now, I’m stuck. I can’t update my phone so it keeps bugging out on me. It will suddenly just go to the dreaded apple screen and re-boot or give me some kind of crazy alert about a text message and then I have to re-boot.

I paid how much for this hassle?

5. The Owl Case: It really comes down to this. I absolutely love my phone case. I’ve used it since the kids were babies because they would smile each time I took their picture. It has the same effect on adults. I’ve received more compliments on it then anything else I own. It has traveled with me around the country and the world.

The issues are that #1 I bought it in a little boutique store and I’ve never seen anything else like it #2 even the “smaller” of the two new Apple phones is too big for it.

I hate you Apple.

Everyone loves the Owl...most of all ME!

Everyone loves the Owl…most of all ME!

And now, the very short list of things I love, since this is a love/hate post:

1. Reliability: I’ve never had an issue with my MacBook Pro. It fell from the back of a ladies room stall hook a year ago, and it has been going strong ever since. My husband has almost all MicroSoft products and his SurfacePro has given him nothing but headaches from the first day out of the box.

2. Quiet Time: The other two iPads are used by my kids. It has enabled me to have pleasant conversations with other adults, countless quiet dinners out, and is my emergency go-to when I have to quick finish an article and need the boys to be quiet!

That’s about it.

Do me a favor and do not share this post. All I need is for some jerk at Apple to see it and I’ll never get my new phone!

How do you feel about technology?

Do you have Apple products?