Are you ready for a meltdown?  Neither was the man sitting next to me on my flight from Vegas to Hartford last week but that’s what he got.  Unfortunately for him, I was reading an amazing book The Mother of All Meltdowns written by some of my most favorite (and little did I know, soon to be favorite) bloggers, foremost of which is Crystal Ponti at Mommifried.  She sent an email call to action and I answered.  In exchange for a review on Amazon I was given a free copy of the book.  Yay me.

If you don’t already know, I hate to fly.  I posted about it right before my last trip.  This book was the perfect thing to distract me on the long flight home and what a treat to finally read what I’ve been hearing about for so long.  I was actually looking forward to this flight which is something I haven’t done since I was 11.  After we boarded the plane, meltdown #1 occurred:

“This is the captain speaking, you may be wondering why we’re still sitting at the gate.  Apparently there’s a discrepancy between the fuel we thought we had onboard and what is written in the log book.”

I’m sorry, did he just mention discrepancy and fuel in the same sentence when I’m basically sitting on a ticking time bomb?  Dear Lord help me!

After sitting at the gate for 40 minutes, we finally started moving.  I was getting more and more anxious by the second.  When we finally took off down the runway I was grabbing my husbands arm and crying.  Yep.  Meltdown #2.  I wonder if the guy sitting by the window next to me was panicking yet?  He didn’t say a word.

Once we hit 10,000 feet, I opened my laptop, purchased wi-fi for $8 and went to open the link in my email.  Nothing.  Oh wait, a little circle that just kept circling and nothing popping up!  WTH?  Open dammit!!!  As much as I willed it, it would not open.  I restarted, rebooted, closed down and signed-in and out.  Nothing.  Commence meltdown #3.

By the grace of God, it magically opened about an hour later on my second 100th attempt.  I have no idea how or why but I was just happy to start reading!  And that’s when the REAL meltdowns started.

Throughout this unbelievably honest and heartfelt book, I was taken aback by just how much it moved me!  I was completely unprepared for how much emotion it would bring up in me.  I don’t know why, but I never saw it coming.

MOAM2

THINGS THAT MADE ME…

LAUGH HYSTERICALLY:

The intro by Crystal Ponti herself when she writes: “You see, every mother at some point, inevitably becomes her own worst enemy.”  Have truer words ever been spoken?

Danielle Herzog of Martinis and Minivans who clearly should have been banned from the doctors office after what she did.  Her level of denial is one only a mother facing pregnancy could possibly achieve…and it’s hilarious.

Dana Hemlet who kills with Kiss My List came up with this while melting down at the happiest place on earth: “…the well behaved kids stare like we were the newest attraction to the park.”  Classic!!!…and so very true.

Oh how I can relate, as anyone with boys can, to Norine Dworkin-McDaniel’s (Science of Parenthood)  meltdown over the infuriating Lego beast!  I laugh because I’ve been there!

TWO SHOW STOPPERS

The following two stories in particular really made the poor man next to me think I was headed off the plane and directly to a mental institution.  If you don’t laugh out loud with tears rolling down your eyes when you read these stories, you may not be human and you’re definitely not a mother!

Stephanie Farley of Crayon Marks and Tiger Stripes: What happens with her son at a gas station definitely did not stay a secret.  Oh. My. God.  I just want to have a glass of wine with her and have her tell me this story in person.

And, the woman, the myth, the legend: Melissa Galileo from Completely Eclipsed.  I really just want to shake her hand and find out how exactly she propped herself up on a toilet in a nail salon.  She must have good balance to go along with that fierceness!

CRY MY EYES OUT

Lisa Witherspoon of Golden Spoons:  She had me at epidural.  I felt her pain and fear and exhaustion through her words.  Just an amazing story and another testament to the power of a mother!

Michelle Nahom of Dish of Daily Life:  A hurricane could have come through my house…or the boys could have been tearing it apart, and nothing could have distracted me from her story.  I think I read it the entire time with my hand to my open mouth and shaking my head ever so slightly.  When we finally meet, I’m going to hug you.  That’s a warning.

I almost had an ugly cry when I read Alexa B’s (No Holding Back) account of her twin pregnancy.  Obviously this is something dear to me and I couldn’t stop the tears.  The way she tells it is so honest and raw that I could feel my emotions rise along with hers.  Just stunning.

FRUSTRATED BEYOND BELIEF

Oh Debra Cole (Urban Moo Cow), I feel as though we would be besties.  Everyone needs to MYOB (mind their own business) baby!  Hat or no.

Tamara (Tamara Like Camera) made me start talking to her through the book.  Did you hear me Tamara?  The guy next to me did, and he knows all about your ring and the poop and Scarlet.  Don’t even get me started on the downward spiral we all feel sometimes.  I got you.

Nicole Goodman (Work In Sweats Mama) if I only knew French I would march back to the airport and spew every curse word I know!  She is one impressive mama protecting her liquid gold around the world and back.  Sheryl Sandberg (author of Lean In) would be proud!

Karen Blessing of Baking in a Tornado there are just no words.  Well, I guess there are because I was compelled to email you right after I read this account of your son and the video camera.  It’s still shocking.  It makes me very afraid to have TWIN teenage boys.  But it’s also strangely comforting.

Angela Keck of Writer Moms Blog got my blood boiling and then I wanted to stand up and cheer at the end.  Just another day in mommy land!

Obviously I can (and did!) go on and on and mention so many stories because the book is just that good.  I can’t tell you all how much I enjoyed it and how many of my friends will be getting it for Christmas.  Seriously.  It will be my new go to book when I have a bad day (often) so I can feel somewhat normal (never) and know that moms everywhere are melting down…just. like. me.

THANK YOU!

Now everyone go out and buy it so I can hear what you think!