Are you ready for a meltdown? Neither was the man sitting next to me on my flight from Vegas to Hartford last week but that’s what he got. Unfortunately for him, I was reading an amazing book The Mother of All Meltdowns written by some of my most favorite (and little did I know, soon to be favorite) bloggers, foremost of which is Crystal Ponti at Mommifried. She sent an email call to action and I answered. In exchange for a review on Amazon I was given a free copy of the book. Yay me.
If you don’t already know, I hate to fly. I posted about it right before my last trip. This book was the perfect thing to distract me on the long flight home and what a treat to finally read what I’ve been hearing about for so long. I was actually looking forward to this flight which is something I haven’t done since I was 11. After we boarded the plane, meltdown #1 occurred:
“This is the captain speaking, you may be wondering why we’re still sitting at the gate. Apparently there’s a discrepancy between the fuel we thought we had onboard and what is written in the log book.”
I’m sorry, did he just mention discrepancy and fuel in the same sentence when I’m basically sitting on a ticking time bomb? Dear Lord help me!
After sitting at the gate for 40 minutes, we finally started moving. I was getting more and more anxious by the second. When we finally took off down the runway I was grabbing my husbands arm and crying. Yep. Meltdown #2. I wonder if the guy sitting by the window next to me was panicking yet? He didn’t say a word.
Once we hit 10,000 feet, I opened my laptop, purchased wi-fi for $8 and went to open the link in my email. Nothing. Oh wait, a little circle that just kept circling and nothing popping up! WTH? Open dammit!!! As much as I willed it, it would not open. I restarted, rebooted, closed down and signed-in and out. Nothing. Commence meltdown #3.
By the grace of God, it magically opened about an hour later on my second 100th attempt. I have no idea how or why but I was just happy to start reading! And that’s when the REAL meltdowns started.
Throughout this unbelievably honest and heartfelt book, I was taken aback by just how much it moved me! I was completely unprepared for how much emotion it would bring up in me. I don’t know why, but I never saw it coming.
THINGS THAT MADE ME…
LAUGH HYSTERICALLY:
The intro by Crystal Ponti herself when she writes: “You see, every mother at some point, inevitably becomes her own worst enemy.” Have truer words ever been spoken?
Danielle Herzog of Martinis and Minivans who clearly should have been banned from the doctors office after what she did. Her level of denial is one only a mother facing pregnancy could possibly achieve…and it’s hilarious.
Dana Hemlet who kills with Kiss My List came up with this while melting down at the happiest place on earth: “…the well behaved kids stare like we were the newest attraction to the park.” Classic!!!…and so very true.
Oh how I can relate, as anyone with boys can, to Norine Dworkin-McDaniel’s (Science of Parenthood) meltdown over the infuriating Lego beast! I laugh because I’ve been there!
TWO SHOW STOPPERS
The following two stories in particular really made the poor man next to me think I was headed off the plane and directly to a mental institution. If you don’t laugh out loud with tears rolling down your eyes when you read these stories, you may not be human and you’re definitely not a mother!
Stephanie Farley of Crayon Marks and Tiger Stripes: What happens with her son at a gas station definitely did not stay a secret. Oh. My. God. I just want to have a glass of wine with her and have her tell me this story in person.
And, the woman, the myth, the legend: Melissa Galileo from Completely Eclipsed. I really just want to shake her hand and find out how exactly she propped herself up on a toilet in a nail salon. She must have good balance to go along with that fierceness!
CRY MY EYES OUT
Lisa Witherspoon of Golden Spoons: She had me at epidural. I felt her pain and fear and exhaustion through her words. Just an amazing story and another testament to the power of a mother!
Michelle Nahom of Dish of Daily Life: A hurricane could have come through my house…or the boys could have been tearing it apart, and nothing could have distracted me from her story. I think I read it the entire time with my hand to my open mouth and shaking my head ever so slightly. When we finally meet, I’m going to hug you. That’s a warning.
I almost had an ugly cry when I read Alexa B’s (No Holding Back) account of her twin pregnancy. Obviously this is something dear to me and I couldn’t stop the tears. The way she tells it is so honest and raw that I could feel my emotions rise along with hers. Just stunning.
FRUSTRATED BEYOND BELIEF
Oh Debra Cole (Urban Moo Cow), I feel as though we would be besties. Everyone needs to MYOB (mind their own business) baby! Hat or no.
Tamara (Tamara Like Camera) made me start talking to her through the book. Did you hear me Tamara? The guy next to me did, and he knows all about your ring and the poop and Scarlet. Don’t even get me started on the downward spiral we all feel sometimes. I got you.
Nicole Goodman (Work In Sweats Mama) if I only knew French I would march back to the airport and spew every curse word I know! She is one impressive mama protecting her liquid gold around the world and back. Sheryl Sandberg (author of Lean In) would be proud!
Karen Blessing of Baking in a Tornado there are just no words. Well, I guess there are because I was compelled to email you right after I read this account of your son and the video camera. It’s still shocking. It makes me very afraid to have TWIN teenage boys. But it’s also strangely comforting.
Angela Keck of Writer Moms Blog got my blood boiling and then I wanted to stand up and cheer at the end. Just another day in mommy land!
Obviously I can (and did!) go on and on and mention so many stories because the book is just that good. I can’t tell you all how much I enjoyed it and how many of my friends will be getting it for Christmas. Seriously. It will be my new go to book when I have a bad day (often) so I can feel somewhat normal (never) and know that moms everywhere are melting down…just. like. me.
THANK YOU!
Now everyone go out and buy it so I can hear what you think!
What an awesome review Allie! Thank you so much for mentioning my story, which quite frankly pales in comparison to some of the other gems in the book! You picked a lot of my favorites too!! I’m so glad we could help you through your flight! XO
I LOVED your story. I especially loved how you were working, traveling AND pumping – how you knew all the regulations for flying with breast milk and how much harassing you (and your pump) received! You are one amazing mama. But I knew that already…:-)
Great review- I’m dying to get it now!!
Seriously – get it! It’s amazingly good.
What an awesome review Allie! I’m glad we were able to keep your mind off the flight! Thank you also for the shout out — when Crystal asked me, I knew that was the story I had to tell. By far and away, it was my worst meltdown ever…and the most trying time of my life. All mama bear instincts come out…don’t mess with my kid’s life!
OMG Michelle, I think my meltdown in your situation would have been much worse! I cannot believe you had to go through all that. I’m just in awe. So happy it all worked out but WOW!
OK – this book has been on my Kindle for a week now and I’m drying to read it! I am hoping for this weekend – although after your review, I want to read it RIGHT NOW!
You had better be reading. The stories get better and better…
I am so happy it gave you comfort on a plane! I’ll have to try that. And we should have a three-way hug with Michelle!
I hope the man on the plane doesn’t think I’m a bit of a… idiot? ‘Cause I sure was!
Thank you so much for this review!!
Biggest hug for her EVER! The guys wasn’t actually talking to me. I’m pretty sure he thought I was just mumbling to myself the way some homeless people on the street do. I didn’t think you were an idiot at all. I’ve done similar things to avoid confrontation!! Like I said, I get it.
Great review! The book sounds awesome!
IT IS! It truly is a must read.
Thanks for the great review, Allie! You’ve highlighted my favorites too!!
I could have done the whole book but I figured I had to save *some* things!!
OMGosh! This is a wonderful review, Allie! I’m with you on flying. I have to be all but medicated to get on board! I’m glad you had the book in hand to help curb some of those nerves. Thank you so much for reviewing it! I cannot thank you enough! If I can ever return the favor, please let me know.
No need to thank me, it was my pleasure. It really did help re-focus my attention and then came the tears…and laughter. You should be so proud of what you’ve accomplished! Thank YOU!
What a wonderful review! I was so honored to be a part of it. There were so many great stories. I found myself on a roller coaster of emotions when I read it as well.
It’s a truly great book! You should be so proud…I am:-)
Next time have some more drinks before you fly! Or I guess you’ll just need to reread the book 🙂
Right and right!
fantastic review!! I have been super excited about this book because so many of my favorites are in there! I can’t wait to read. I am so proud of everyone involved!
You will love it!
Fantastic post and review of a FANTASTIC book. I totally agree with you in every way. The book was amazing and made me laugh and moved me in equal measure!!
Oh, my GOODNESS!! You do not need to be a skittish flier to be disconcerted to find out the FUEL in the plane doesn’t match what they should have. GAH!!! (although it’s good they realized it before they took off. Bonus points there) I’m glad you finally had this awesome book to distract you!! –Lisa
I know, right? My friends were a little freaked by that as well. Some things can be kept private Mr. Pilot!!
Obviously you know how great the book is and we’re lucky enough to be a part of it!! Is there nothing the Dose Girls can’t do? Don’t answer that.:-)
Allie, that was such a wonderful review! Thank you for going above and beyond the typical kind words – you are awesome! And I love that the book made the flight a little less painful 🙂
It really moved me. Honestly, I couldn’t have written this if I didn’t truly mean it. You all should be so proud!!
What a kind, generous, and totally rockin’ review! Thank you so much for highlighting the humor as well as the raw honesty that we tried to share. Really, really appreciate all you’ve done for us!
It was my pleasure. I truly enjoyed every story! Just a perfect book for every mom!! Congratulations. I wish you all so much success.
Thanks for your review!
No problem! I loved it.
It was already on my list to buy and now I am going to download it…can’t wait to read it and what a wonderfully written review!
Thanks Shannon. It really is THAT good and makes you feel like a completely *normal* mom…who yells at her kids!!
Wow, sounds fantastic! And I’d be right there with you on the meltdown if I heard fuel and discrepancy in the same sentence, too! Thanks for the awesome review.
It really is *that* good.
Good to know I’m not the only one who would freak after hearing that! Some things should be kept to just the crew – geesh!
I need to hurry up and get my copy of the book!! Although, now I”m wondering if I can get an audio version on my iPhone and listen to it while I run – better go check – could help me through my race like it helped you through the flight. (Except I hate to cry when I run – not good on my lungs!!)
Crying does make it hard to breathe when running so not sure if that’s a good idea!! One way or another, you should definitely get it!
It’s top of my list to read – especially after this review!
It’s such a cliche but it really IS a must read for every mom. Enjoy it!
You are RIGHT on. Love your review and love it huge huge.
It’s a wonderful book and all of you should be SO proud!!
This was my first review and you did an excellent job Allie! I know this will help get the book on Xmas lists!
Seriously, any mom I know would love to have it! It’s truly a great read because of the raw honesty and emotion! Who knew parenting was so hard?…and hilarious!?
I have to download my copy this weekend and get my review up. I’m even more excited after reading your review!
You will love it! Enjoy…
Wow!! Thanks so much for the awesome review!!! What I love about the book so much is – just as you have conveyed – there is such a variety of emotion. Some funny, some sad – some toddler tantrums, some teenage mayhem. Your review is fabulous and so greatly appreciated!
I was happy to do it. It was so easy to write because I can totally relate!! You should be so proud for writing such an amazing book.