Fear seems like a constant lately. I’m afraid of so many things and for so many reasons, yet I can’t seem to stop doing things that scare me. Some of my fears are out of my control, like parenting and fearing for my kids well being, but so many are controlled by thoughts or past experiences.

fear

Source: BCMLife.net

In the past week I’ve tried to shift my understanding of fear and have opened myself up to seeing and feeling it differently. Carla Bringberg (co-author of What You Can When You Can) wrote a comment recently that I just happened to read. I can’t even remember which blog it was on now, but it was simply:

FEAR IS EXCITEMENT ON PAUSE

When I read that, something clicked. I decided to push play.

WEEK OF MAY 11, 2015

RUNNING: I haven’t run all week. Ok, that’s a lie. I ran for 20 minutes OTB (off the bike) as part of a brick workout. The run was preceded by an hour ride (hence the OTB) and it was fine but not great. I’m still having hamstring issues and I’ve added a back issue for good measure. For whatever reason, my body has chosen now to fall apart.

Before I started completely freaking out, I thought of something the great elite runner Tina Muir recently wrote about. It was about having the courage to run your easy days easy.

“It all comes down to confidence. When it is lacking, that is when we look for reassurance within our recovery days. When we are feeling strong, and believe we are in better shape than ever before, we do not feel the need for proving anything on recovery days.”

It takes a lot of courage to run ‘slow’ or, in my case, only in the pool. You need to believe that you have the ability to achieve all of you goals, but you need to be smart and have the courage to train in the right way to get you there.

I’m choosing to have the courage to not run anywhere but the pool, and instead I’m enjoying watching my sons run the bases!

These days I'm enjoying watching my sons run bases. Look at that form!

Look at that form! And that’s the one I didn’t name Miles 🙂

BIKING: In direct contrast to running, my cycling has been amazing! I’m loving my time on the bike, the weather has been gorgeous and I’ve even been able to ride with friends. What could be better? Ok, running but whatever.

SWIMMING: To prove my new found fearlessness, I took CRS (Coach Rocket Scientist) up on an offer to swim in a lake. In May. With fish.

I made her pose for this before we stripped off our wet suits. We were both shivering and it took forever for my toes to thaw out. #WorthIt

I made her pose for this before we stripped off our wet suits. We were both shivering and it took forever for my toes to thaw out. #WorthIt Can my smile be any bigger?

I freakin loved every minute. The water temperature was like an ice bath, which was perfect for all my aching muscles, and being able to do an open swim with your coach is fantastic. #FormCheck

It also helped that we were the only two lunatics out there so there was no worrying about boats, kayaks or other swimmers. Hypothermia was a fear but the seat warmers in my car came to my rescue!

RACING: What duathlon? I’m over it. I’ve moved on to planning the rest of my racing schedule. I selected at triathlon in July and then have several half-marathons until THE marathon in November. I tried really hard to find a race that awards top finishers with a sword but no such luck. The boys will have to keep sharing the “old” one until 2016.

FUEL: This salad:

IMG_5719

It was the special of the week, at a local cafe, and I had it twice. It was so filling and brimming with such yummy goodness that I may even try to replicate it.

You know that’s a lie right?

THINGS I LOVE: Planning a trip to San Francisco! I haven’t been since I was 25. I’m sure everything is exactly as I remember it.

This was the first time I went to San Francisco in 1998 when I was 23. I'm pretty sure this is Jerry Garcia's house. It was very important to me to see it.

This was the first time I went to San Francisco in 1998 when I was 23. I’m pretty sure this is Jerry Garcia’s house. It was very important to me to see it as the time. #NiceBeret

I went searching for “best places to run” and found that my friend Christine from Love, Life, Surf wrote the perfect article on RunHaven. I love it when that happens. Next on my search list is a running specialty store. I’m wide open for any non-running related suggestions you all have!

THINGS I DON’T LOVE AS MUCH: Cleaning the new fish tank. The boys wanted a dog for their birthday so, naturally, we let them have fish. Lucy and Clara make a huge mess and are bacteria carrying, cold blooded aimless bores. We should have gone with the dog.

IMG_5764

READING: I love delving into the mind of an athlete, though studies, research papers and articles. The New York Times had this – – > The Psychology of Choking Under Pressure and the outcomes of the study were not what you would expect. #IFearChoking

MUSIC: The late great B.B. Kind ladies and gentlemen! I’m a huge blues fan and I’ve been loving B.B. since I was in high school. When I first moved out to Los Angeles my whole family came out to a show at his club, when they were in town, and it was one of the most memorable nights ever. I have so many wonderful memories attached to so many of his songs. Luckily, I can play them any time I want. Fear not B.B., your music will live on forever!

TELEVISION: Dear Hulu, please pick-up The Mindy Project or fear my wrath! #RealFear

Um, so does anyone know how I would actually watch the show on Hulu if them succumb to my threat?

MindyProject

Doesn’t stuff like this happen to everyone? She’s just so relatable!

RANDOM QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Work hard in silence and let success make the noise.” – Frank Ocean 

I saw this quote on Garmin Instagram. They have a lot of good ones and zero fear.

What are you afraid of?

How do you conquer your fears?

Where should I go when I’m in San Francisco?