Fear seems like a constant lately. I’m afraid of so many things and for so many reasons, yet I can’t seem to stop doing things that scare me. Some of my fears are out of my control, like parenting and fearing for my kids well being, but so many are controlled by thoughts or past experiences.
Source: BCMLife.net
In the past week I’ve tried to shift my understanding of fear and have opened myself up to seeing and feeling it differently. Carla Bringberg (co-author of What You Can When You Can) wrote a comment recently that I just happened to read. I can’t even remember which blog it was on now, but it was simply:
FEAR IS EXCITEMENT ON PAUSE
When I read that, something clicked. I decided to push play.
WEEK OF MAY 11, 2015
RUNNING: I haven’t run all week. Ok, that’s a lie. I ran for 20 minutes OTB (off the bike) as part of a brick workout. The run was preceded by an hour ride (hence the OTB) and it was fine but not great. I’m still having hamstring issues and I’ve added a back issue for good measure. For whatever reason, my body has chosen now to fall apart.
Before I started completely freaking out, I thought of something the great elite runner Tina Muir recently wrote about. It was about having the courage to run your easy days easy.
“It all comes down to confidence. When it is lacking, that is when we look for reassurance within our recovery days. When we are feeling strong, and believe we are in better shape than ever before, we do not feel the need for proving anything on recovery days.”
It takes a lot of courage to run ‘slow’ or, in my case, only in the pool. You need to believe that you have the ability to achieve all of you goals, but you need to be smart and have the courage to train in the right way to get you there.
I’m choosing to have the courage to not run anywhere but the pool, and instead I’m enjoying watching my sons run the bases!
Look at that form! And that’s the one I didn’t name Miles 🙂
BIKING: In direct contrast to running, my cycling has been amazing! I’m loving my time on the bike, the weather has been gorgeous and I’ve even been able to ride with friends. What could be better? Ok, running but whatever.
SWIMMING: To prove my new found fearlessness, I took CRS (Coach Rocket Scientist) up on an offer to swim in a lake. In May. With fish.
I made her pose for this before we stripped off our wet suits. We were both shivering and it took forever for my toes to thaw out. #WorthIt Can my smile be any bigger?
I freakin loved every minute. The water temperature was like an ice bath, which was perfect for all my aching muscles, and being able to do an open swim with your coach is fantastic. #FormCheck
It also helped that we were the only two lunatics out there so there was no worrying about boats, kayaks or other swimmers. Hypothermia was a fear but the seat warmers in my car came to my rescue!
RACING: What duathlon? I’m over it. I’ve moved on to planning the rest of my racing schedule. I selected at triathlon in July and then have several half-marathons until THE marathon in November. I tried really hard to find a race that awards top finishers with a sword but no such luck. The boys will have to keep sharing the “old” one until 2016.
FUEL: This salad:
It was the special of the week, at a local cafe, and I had it twice. It was so filling and brimming with such yummy goodness that I may even try to replicate it.
You know that’s a lie right?
THINGS I LOVE: Planning a trip to San Francisco! I haven’t been since I was 25. I’m sure everything is exactly as I remember it.
This was the first time I went to San Francisco in 1998 when I was 23. I’m pretty sure this is Jerry Garcia’s house. It was very important to me to see it as the time. #NiceBeret
I went searching for “best places to run” and found that my friend Christine from Love, Life, Surf wrote the perfect article on RunHaven. I love it when that happens. Next on my search list is a running specialty store. I’m wide open for any non-running related suggestions you all have!
THINGS I DON’T LOVE AS MUCH: Cleaning the new fish tank. The boys wanted a dog for their birthday so, naturally, we let them have fish. Lucy and Clara make a huge mess and are bacteria carrying, cold blooded aimless bores. We should have gone with the dog.
READING: I love delving into the mind of an athlete, though studies, research papers and articles. The New York Times had this – – > The Psychology of Choking Under Pressure and the outcomes of the study were not what you would expect. #IFearChoking
MUSIC: The late great B.B. Kind ladies and gentlemen! I’m a huge blues fan and I’ve been loving B.B. since I was in high school. When I first moved out to Los Angeles my whole family came out to a show at his club, when they were in town, and it was one of the most memorable nights ever. I have so many wonderful memories attached to so many of his songs. Luckily, I can play them any time I want. Fear not B.B., your music will live on forever!
TELEVISION: Dear Hulu, please pick-up The Mindy Project or fear my wrath! #RealFear
Um, so does anyone know how I would actually watch the show on Hulu if them succumb to my threat?
Doesn’t stuff like this happen to everyone? She’s just so relatable!
RANDOM QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Work hard in silence and let success make the noise.” – Frank Ocean
I saw this quote on Garmin Instagram. They have a lot of good ones and zero fear.
What are you afraid of?
How do you conquer your fears?
Where should I go when I’m in San Francisco?
IVE GOT THIS ONE!!
for now anyway.
I just remind myself:
FEAR IS EXCITEMENT ON PAUSE.
FEAR IS EXCITEMENT ON PAUSE…
It’s a great mantra! Thank you for it 🙂
I saw your open water swim pic and instantly thought badass! And also fear. Open water freaks me out when I think of what lurks below. I know 99% of it will leave me alone but that 1%…..Way to go Ali!
Yep, that’s pretty much all I think about too and as soon as I dove in, I saw a pretty big fish – YIKES! I just try and stay calm and focus on my form. I have no idea how people swim in the ocean. I would have a heart attack!
Great attitude shift, Allie! And this is a fantastic time to be out on our bike, making that stronger than ever, as well as getting in those OWSs..did I tell you I’m jealous of that? No where to do that in Md.
San Francisco sounds awesome. Such a great city and SO much to do in that area. A little trip up to Napa should be thrown in…
I was just thrown a really big fear over the weekend. My son and I are doing a mission trip in June and we got our crew assignment on Saturday. Looks like we’ll probably be building a roof, AND our crew leader is a no nonsense, get-the-job done badass. Have I told you i fear heights? And I fear them more for my son? And that I suck at using power tools? I’m afraid.
There’s no where to OWS? Really? That’s awful! How did you train for your IM or were you not living there then??
We are definitely taking a little ride to Napa on Saturday while we’re there. That is a MUST.
Your mission trip sounds very scary for you and I totally get how you’re more afraid for your son. Is there any way to train for that?? Mentally and physically?? You need a plan mama!!!
Yes, we did our “training” on Saturday by building a wall frame. I have woeful power tool skills! Most of it will just be on the job–we’ll get it, I just worry about being the weak link on the team.
Did my IM with no OWS other than other tris and it all worked out! Still proud of that split: 1:09!
You could never possibly be the weak link on any team, ever.
I’m in awe that you completed an IM with no OWS save for some triathlons. This is exactly my point. Your awesomeness knows no bounds. Power tools? Pffffff
: )
Thank you–you are too kind!
Awwww thank you for using me as a reference, and I still believe that, and good on you for making that change in your mind. You may have fear, but you are incredibly brave for a number of reasons, including sharing that fear with us. Do you realize how strong that makes you? You are so courageous Allie, and that switch will help you chase things you never did before! Jealous you are going to San Fran, so much fun!
Thank you for saying that Tina! That post you wrote really resonated with me and I often think of it when I’m on my “easy” training days. I wish I could take you with me to San Fran!! Imagine the fun we would have??
I think you know by my own post today that a bit of my fears are wrapped up come this September having both my girls in school full time, but do love that quote from the beginning and you gave me a bit of courage just reading those words. So, thanks so much, Allie as it was just what I needed this morning and for the week ahead now, too!
I commented on your post about having those same fears. It’s such a mix of emotions and fear of the unknown! Somehow, we will make it though!!
Yes yes yes to that Garmin quote! #neededthat your attitude shift is awesome and I continue to learn more and more from the amazing Carla Birnberg. So happy that you have registered for several halfs before nyc! That salad looks really great. Thank goodness that Mindy was renewed! 26 episodes!!! Yes thank you!!
I cannot wait to read your race recap from the Brooklyn Half!! And HOORAY for Mindy’s renewal!!! xoxo
Fear is so excitement on pause! I always get this slight fear before something really great and then I realize it is just excitement.
I’ve never gotten into the Mindy Project but people are obsessed so I’m going to see if I can watch it on Netflix.
The fish comment cracked me up!
It’s so true, isn’t it? Once I read that it was so much easier to shift my focus.
You MUST watch Mindy! I think the early stuff isn’t so great but it got better and better each season. Enjoy!
Ahhhhhh, our old friend fear.
I believe we must lean into our fears and get to know them well. Then overcome them.
At least that’s what I’ve done with the tons of fear around my startup venture, WeMontage. As you know, so many of my greatest fears came to pass last year, but I got thru it.
We can all get thru “it.”
And we can come out the other side of the experience better, stronger, more emboldened…
Anywho, that’s my two cents.
Cheers!
I love your two cents, as always. You are one of the most fearLESS people I know. I think it helps when “the worst” happens and you brush yourself off and try again. Rebuild and move on! Thanks James.
For your hamstring have you thought about getting a deep tissue massage? I found that getting those for any muscle issue really benefited me and allowed me to recover quickly.
I’m afraid I might never get back down to me original 5k goal and PR….it feels like light years away at this point!
We are on the same page Hollie! I have a deep tissue scheduled for Thursday and I’m hoping it will do the trick.
I hear you on the racing goals. I feel like I need a good test like a 5K once my hammy is all healed up. Hang in there and it will happen!
LOVE this post….As soon as I read that Fear is Excitement on Pause quote I wrote it down! And the whole having the confidence to take it easy on easy runs….all of it! San Fran….where not to go….the obvious…run or walk or bike back and forth across the golden gate bridge….run through the presidio in golden gate park….(I hope you are ok to run by then).
Isn’t it great? If you haven’t read Carla Brinberg’s blog you should. It’s filled with juicy tidbits like that!
Thank you for the San Fran recommendations! I’m focused on being 100% ready to run by then just so I can run the bridge!!
I had not read it, but just checked it out and subscribed!! Thanks….so many great blogs…so little time…..
yes yes yes, perfect!!! i have too many fears to count and name, but getting into running (then later swimming and biking…) certainly had me facing most of them and more importantly, got me out of comfort zones. i had no idea that my comfort zone was doing me more harm than good at times, so luckily the training and other insane/friendly athletes were great distractions 🙂
i certainly took “face the fear” to another level (for myself) the last few years, but now i try to think a little bit longer before i go looking to crush some fears. talking about my fears certainly helps, usually someone will let me know there is nothing to worry about. although ignorance is bliss, i wish i could have my 5 year old brain again, lol.
San Fran is still (STILL) on my list, but hopefully not much longer.
Oh yes, ignorance can be ultimate bliss but I do love how we athletes use training and racing to crush our fears…and then get to see the effects on our everyday life. Perfection!
Yes! I have a fear of choking under pressure so I need to read that! I also had a fear of leaving my marriage but I ignored it and now I am happier than I have ever been. I love that statement that fear is a liar because when you let fear rule your life you are not really living. You had a good week even if it was altered a bit. I have no worries for you because you will be back in no time!
Exactly!!! You have so much courage for getting a divorce Kris and I give you a TON of credit. I’ve had a few very close friends go though it in the last couple of years and it’s brutal. Good for you! Screw fear!
I love that: “fear is excitement on pause”! My husband and I just made a big move (Indiana to Seattle) with a new job for him and plans on trying to work for myself for me. Do I have fear about this? Yes, but I remind myself everyday that fear is part of change and change is necessary for success and happiness.
I really want to visit San Francisco, so I’m excited to see where you go on your travels. I imagine it’s a beautiful city for running.
Change is always fearful (at least for me!) but I know it also brings huge opportunities! Chase them down!
I cannot wait to run San Fran and see where the streets and bridges take me.
Thanks Laura!
I love this. I’m sorry you are still dealing with hammy issues and now your back?! Is that what happens when 40 hits because I’m sure that will happen to me too in a short year and a half. I’m afraid of swimming, point blank. One of my biggest fears would be to take adult swimming lessons and I don’t know why!! I’m not sure how you jumped in a lake with fishy’s either, that is another thing I’m afraid of, an open water swim. I would love to do a triathalon, but that is what holds me back. I need to bite the bullet and take swim lessons! That salad looks AMAZING. Is that goat cheese? We have a place here that does a salad just like that with the arugula, pear and FRIED goat cheese with candied walnuts and pecans, OMG, it’s to die for. I would eat that every day if I could!! Are you loving being a baseball mom?!
I’ve been doing triathlons now for about five years and it’s taken me that long to get anything close to comfortable with an open water swim! I love pool swimming – where it’s safe 🙂 You should really think about taking lessons because I think you would love the triathlon.
I certainly hope my body isn’t falling apart from old age but maybe just a result of too much too soon after the marathon? Hopefully? Ugh.
Yes, I’m absolutely loving watching the boys play ball and seeing my husband coach. They all love it so much!
My last trip to SF was 27 years ago, on my honeymoon. I need to go back!
My husband cleans the fish tank. We have an aging dog, and I clean up after her. I love her, but having pets is a “no win” deal.
Yes you do! I only wish I had more time there since 3 1/2 days will not be enough to see and do it all. Oh well, I guess I have to take what I can get.
I hear you with the pets. I absolutely want to get a dog when the boys are a little older but, since I grew up with dogs, I know just how hard it can be.
Thanks Wendy!
Oooh that salad looks like it’s right up my alley… Are those candied walnuts and goat cheese with pear? That’s such a yummy combo!
Yes it is!! I guess I should have explained exactly what was in it 🙂 Delicious.
So glad Hulu picked up The Mindy Project. I thought the network was nuts for dropping the show. It is awesome! And I’m also excited she has a new book coming out.
San Francisco is on my list of places I’ve always wanted to go- so fun!
Me too!!! I didn’t know she has another book coming out? Although, I must confess that I didn’t love the first one. Maybe I’ll like this one better?!
I freaking love that quote about fear. I shared it with at least 5 people this morning. Putting a positive perspective on our mental outlook is such a game changer. In other news, I hope you have a Maine half marathon in October on your calendar too. Wink xo
I know! It’s SO perfect.
YES I DO!!!! Can I tell you how excited I am?? I’m registering this week – woot woot!!!
I’ve been doing a bit of reading/research around fear and stress and it’s interesting how our perspective of it and change how we approach it. Excited for your trip to SF! Are you going sans kids? For running, you can always go to Sport Basement – there’s one by the Marina and it’s huge. The Ferry Building is my favorite for browsing and snacking. Let me know what else you’re looking for!
YES sans kids!! Thank you for the great recommendations! Any especially amazing restaurants? I know there are tons but, any favorites?
Do I give “The Mindy Project” a shot? She normally gets on my nerves but if you say I should try it, I will.
I like Carla’s quote about fear. it’s one that makes you think.
I’m proud of you for getting in that water! Cold – no. Fish – no. You are a braver woman than I’d ever be (but I knew that already).
I hope you have a most fabulous time in San Fran. According to my friend Susie, you must go to Tacolicious and I say run along the Embarcadero because you never know who you might see…..
BTW, I asked my local pool if they have running lanes and they acted like I was insane. #Fail
I would think you would love her but I can definitely see the annoying aspect. Maybe give her one more try? If I like it, you almost have to!
Thank you for the food recommendations. You had me at “taco.”
I’m laughing so hard at the running lanes in the pool thing!! You should probably just ask if they have aqua jogging belts. You can “run” in any swim lane 🙂
You are awesome.
Oh, overcoming fear is huge!!! Love the picture of you and CSR!
My favorite thing in San Francisco is actually not in SF – I love Napa valley and could spend all of my time there.
We are spending the day Saturday there and I cannot wait!!!