That’s right. You can clean up your entire mess of a life after reading this one blog post. What? Too much? If you’re neck deep in Marie Kondo’s world of deciding which of your race medals brings you the most joy, I’m here to save you. Forget your material things and your messy house and focus on your messy life. You know what doesn’t spark joy? Finding the time to pick up every single material thing in my house and decide if I want to keep it. Of course I don’t! But, I’m too busy picking up my kids’ shit, doing laundry, working out, writing, making dinner (ok, that’s a lie, ordering dinner) and watching Netflix (truth!) to tidy up!

And, I’ll let you in on a secret. Being “tidy” does not fill me with joy but anxious frustration. I’m a clean and everything-in-its-place person by nature and it drives me insane! I wish I didn’t have to make every bed, clean up every pile of papers, wash every dish and every piece of clothing or bed linen in order to be relaxed. I really wish I could sit on the couch and have the room not be in perfect order for me to sit comfortably. Trust me, it’s not joy I feel as I’m fluffing the pillows and re-arranging coasters, but insanity. I also feel my time could be better spent weeding out the crazies in my social media feed and in my actual, real life. Now that sparks some sick ass joy!…but, can it be done?

WEEK OF JANUARY 28, 2019

RUNNING

Running to me sparks so much joy, until it doesn’t. I don’t find it joyful to run in 5 degrees with ice and snow on the side of the road, nor is it joyful to run indoors on a treadmill for more then 30 minutes, especially when my kids are home for an extra two hours in the morning because of the frozen tundra we’re living in lately.

However, once I actually get outside in treacherous conditions or on the treadmill, I am filled with joy on some level. I absolutely love running and have for almost 20 years now.

Wednesday – treadmill run after strength session | 3.75 miles | 8:00 average

Thursday – brick (bike + run) | 3.58 miles | 8:24 average pace < – – this was cut short because of no school for the kids and my treadmill being in my husband’s home office FML

Friday – long run | 9.2 miles |sadly, this was done on the elliptical because I’m nursing an aching soleus 

Total = 16.33 miles

Joy? YES! Keep running. Check.

Just a girl and a line of treadmills. I’m even joyful inside on a sunny day (that is -10 degrees) on a treadmill. Now THAT is love.

CYCLING

Lately I’ve been preoccupied with getting my old road bike (instead of my triathlon bike) ready for a trip! That’s right, it’s official. I’m heading to Florida at the end of the month for a training camp my coach is hosting in Clermont. I’m not excited to fly there solo but I’m super excited to be training with my teammates for four days and to ride outside on the roads!

Until then, I’m in the basement on the trainer with my laptop, which is why this thread about Peloton on Twitter is so hilarious…

Obviously those people have Marie Kondo on point! Anyone know where I can get that peacock?

Tuesday – criss cross w/o | 53:12 | 15.0 miles

Thursday – brick (ride + run) | 1:30:04 | 24.5 miles

Sunday – speed changes | 1:10:00 | 20.7 miles

Total = 60.2 miles

Joy? YES! Keep cycling. Check.

STRENGTH + SWIMMING

Once again I had one day of each. My strength training definitely brings me joy because of my trainer. Swimming and I, on the other hand, have a complicated relationship. My solution? FINS! That’s right. Every time I’m not feeling joyful about my swim, I give myself the option of putting on my swim fins. Just by having a choice has made even the most grueling swim better.

I met my trainer Antwan about two years ago. Little did I know we would meet again at my local gym! And yes, I have my eyes closed because I’m sparking joy.

Monday – swim 100s and 25s | 2,000 yards

Wednesday – strength training then run | 45 min

Joy? YES! Keep training and swimming with fins (sometimes). Check.

THINGS I LOVE

Purging my social media accounts! Instead of getting off social media all together or bitching about this person or that person, I decided to apply Marie Kondo’s tidying up to social media. Here are my filters:

If you look anorexic, are wearing a bikini and doing a “workout,” have any affiliation with the Kardashians or Trumps, if you watch The Bachelor, if you post all bible quotes or really bad pictures of food – thank you, next… – oh wait, that reminds me, if you like Ariana Grande, automatic unfollow.

If you use any of the following hashtags:

#persuepretty | #popular| #harryandmeghan | #Iloveschoolcancelations | #MAGA | #HimToo | #followback |#fitspo or any hashtag I have to Google because that usually turns out horribly and also makes me feel old…

Joy? Now there is. Keep socializing online. Check.

THINGS I DON’T LOVE AS MUCH

Getting rid of toxic people. Sometimes they are in your family so…

The ones who are not family are sometimes harder to get rid of. And if you’re female, it’s 1 million times harder. I’ve had two such friendships end completely, one over a way too long period of time and the other happened over night. Both were pretty painful but, in the end, I’m way better off for not having them in my life.

Joy? YES! Check!

TELEVISION

I started watching a super creepy, super dramatic, millennial show on Netflix because I saw a 10-second clip of an interview on The Today Show with the main actor, Penn Badgley, and thought it would be a good idea.

Help! I’m in a horrible show and I can’t get out!

If you haven’t heard of the show YOU, consider yourself very lucky. The acting is not great, the dialogue leaves a lot to be desired and the characters are (some quite literally) horrible. I think I have one more episode before the season finale and I will probably never watch it. I’ve had enough.

Joy? Aw hell no. Check!

RANDOM QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Overheard at Home Goods because the woman was sitting in the middle of the store with her phone on speaker!

Woman: Well, she’s very into her make-up and is always focused on the wrong things but you have to just realize that’s the way she is and deal with it.

Person on the other end: I know! But I can’t deal with this anymore and it’s a never ending cycle. < – – yes, I could hear every word because she is on SPEAKER!

Woman: Well that’s fine but I wish you would stop calling and telling me about it because it stresses me out.

WTF? You’re stressing ALL of us out! It is never.ever.ever. okay to have a conversation in public on speaker. Never. No joy. Not ever.

And that concludes how to tidy up your life and send sparks of joy flying evrey where. Please send me a check for remaking your life. #Burdickmylife

Have you tried the Marie Kondo method?

What is your most hated hashtag?