When you’re training plan for the week comes with the disclaimer from your coach of “I’m not trying to kill you” you know it’s going to be a good week. I had to put on my big girl panties and strap on beach ball sized lady nuts to get though this training week! Did I also mention it was the last week of school for the boys? Between you and me, I think she really was trying to kill me…

It was HOT!
WEEK OF JUNE 12, 2017
RUNNING
Turns out I actually tried to kill myself by attempting a speed workout in the heat. I have no clue how I thought I could handle it, only that I desperately did not want to be inside on the treadmill. About 15 minutes into the run I would have paid someone to drive me back to the gym and put me on the treadmill. I slogged though as best I could and did a final fast 2 miles on the treadmill. Worst.idea.ever.
Luckily, the rest of the week was not as eventful but I did do a sprint triathlon Thursday night at a local lake!

Do not try this at home. Trying to recover at my 6 mile heat run.
Tuesday – 5.71 miles of heat/speed | 7:49 pace then 2 miles @7:29 on the treadmill
Thursday – 3 mile run as part of sprint triathlon | 7:19 pace
Saturday – Hard intervals | 1 hour | 7:38 pace
Total = 16.71
CYCLING
Not to be outdone by my heat adventures in running, I got a flat tire on the bike the very next day! Seriously, someone is trying to kill me. Luckily, I stayed calm and although it probably took me about 10 minutes, I changed the tire and completed my ride.
As I was sidelined, a very nice woman stopped by to ask if I was ok. She also said she was coming back that way in 30 minutes and, if I was still there, she would give me a ride. So sweet and so reassuring to know I had a back up plan since my husband was in New Jersey and my dad and stepmom were in Buffalo!

Flat? No problem!
Tuesday – Long ride | 36.7 miles
Thursday – 11.5 mile ride as part of sprint triathlon
Friday – 1 hour ride with 3×8 minutes at threshold | 18.2 miles
Total = 66.4 miles and one flat tire
SWIMMING
The good news is I didn’t come close to drowning, the bad news is I had to change one open water swim to a pool swim because of the weather. I’m very happy I was able to get one open water swim in, especially in a race environment, but I need to be out on the water as much as possible over the next several weeks.
I also took Star out on the SUP and she jumped right off and went swimming! It was hilarious and I wish I had it on video. She loves the water, which is great, but I need to get her a life jacket.

On our way to adventure!
Tuesday – 25s hard with pull, band and buoys | 1,400 yards
Thursday – 700 yard swim as part of sprint triathlon
Saturday – open water pyramid that was changed to pool pyramid | 2,300 yards
Total = 4,400 yards
FUEL
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THINGS I LOVE
Dyson. Yes, the vacuum company. Here’s why:
I accidentially threw a frisbee into a glass of wine, shattering it all over my outdoor carpet. Don’t ask. So I hosed off the carpet and then brought out the vacuum to get any shards of glass I may have missed. Bad idea. My super power sucking Dyson sucked up about two inches of water out of the soaked rug and then died. I almost cried because I love that vacuum, it’s only one year old and it cost almost as much as my car.

The calm before the storm.
I called Dyson to see what could be done. Apparently nothing but, since I just bought the vacuum and didn’t try to lie about how it broke (it never occurred to me?) they set me up with a brand new one and more attachments than I will probably ever use, for $200.
I love them so much. Great customer service, knowledgeable staff and they shipped it for arrival in two days since they clearly know how painful it is for a mom to be without her vacuum.
THINGS I DON’T LOVE AS MUCH
Racing a sprint triathlon as part of my regularly scheduled training program! This is all part of the “I’m not trying to kill you” plan and, although I did not die, I felt like I wanted to when I was running a very hilly 5K after the swim and bike on unrested legs and lungs and with a start time of 6:15pm. It’s always so much harder for me to race at night.
But it was actually kind of awesome and it got me into an open water swim racing situation, which is exactly what I needed.
I also needed two Burdicks to help me into my wetsuit.

How many people does it take to zip me up? Too many.
A local group runs sprint triathlons every other week during the summer and, although I have known about the series for a long time, this is the first time I was able to participate. They are done as sort of practice races but the organizers are super professional and everything is timed using race chips.
Here’s how I did overall and I was happy with the effort:
This was also my fastest swim to date (1:48 pace), which was pretty much the reason for me being there. Mission accomplished.
READING
By now, if you’re a runner and/or have eyeballs and the internet, you’re aware of the controversy involving Kelly Roberts, Marathon Investigation, Oiselle, Women’s Running and Runner’s World and the whole lotta crazy going on…
First, this happened: Kelly Roberts on the cover of Women’s Running was celebrated and all “yay Kelly your body image message is so amazing and we all love you so much for your wit and fun attitude!”
Then, Marathon Investigation discovered Kelly has been banditing races (i.e. jumping into races without paying an entry fee) and started to lose some of the warm fuzzies. And then we saw Oiselle calling her a professional athlete and they even fired a Volรฉe member for bad mouthing Roberts and Oiselle for continuing to sponsor her knowing she’s a race cheater. And, although Roberts does get paid for running, some think bestowing the title of professional runner on her is not quite right.
And then Runner’s World posted this article about how it’s never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ok to run a race you didn’t pay for. But is it really?
And then Oiselle issued this fine piece of writing that reads more like a legal document, in a sort of defense of Roberts.
Whew.
RANDOM QUOTE OF THE WEEK
This comment was posted to one of the article about Roberts and I think it sums it up quite nicely:
Someday I may try to go back to signing up for a race, paying for it, training, racing and not telling a soul. It’s becoming more and more appealing.
[Tweet “Someone was clearly trying to kill me with #workouts, flat tires and a sprint #triathlon! #train4life”]
How was your week?
Has your training been trying to kill you?
Want to weigh in on the Kelly Roberts saga?
I’ve never tried to get Cooper on a SUP. He would do the exact thing Star did – No thanks, I’ll swim. Lol. And the Kelly Roberts thing? What a mess. I don’t want to even go there. ๐
How many Burdicks did it take to get you out of the wet suit? was that just another thing trying to kill you?
LOL! Unfortunately for me, I’m the only one who can take it off before I transition to the bike. Sometimes its very, very difficult and super frustrating but this time…not too bad.
Cocoa would have done the same thing! She is a spaniel after all…but you’re a fast swimmer and you could probably outswim both Star and Cocoa!
I watched that whole Kelly Roberts thing unfold and all I could think was wow, she took selfies with cute guys at a race and now she’s a “professional” athlete? Makes me think I should come up with some kind of plot twist so i can quit my day job. I’d share my thoughts about Oiselle and Volee (whatever the he** that is) and the flock but said flock would probably attack me aka The Birds…
Can I just confess I had no clue she was the same woman who took all the selfies? Seriously.
We can share thoughts (no doubt mutual ones) on Oiselle and Volee in person when we’re in Vegas baby!! ๐
i can’t even comment on the whole Roberts thing because…i.just.can’t. it’s too much. too much! i don’t have time for that kind of nonsense and fuckety fuckery. why do people do the crappola they do? i’ll never know and right now don’t care. shame on people. shame on assholes.
i got some running in this week, it didn’t kill me. hooray! i also feel proud that i didn’t die of a heat stroke during my runs because i saw a couple that literally passed out and had ambulance. our temps are in the 90’s with humidity of fuck me dead percent. it’s crazy town and i’m not giving a hoot, if i can find the time, health, and way to run i’ll do it. 20, 30, 40 minutes whatever. just happy to get it done!
and yes, some of my proudest moments are the fact that i did races that told nobody about, had a great time, and the whole media and social medial missed out. oh friggin well. ๐ hapy monday!
You are on a roll my friend! I am cracking up over here and nodding and nodding and nodding…
Where do I start without writing 3 pages… First, I love that you just jump in on a 6:15 pm mid-week sprint tri while I’m questioning whether I’ll survive mine in a few weeks, but you are badass and that has been established. I need to let you know that my husband is doing the tri with me and has totally geeked out on it… reading articles, bought a legit bike and shoes, etc… and he saw you comment on a couple of my posts and looked you up and now I get new cred for managing to become internet friends with someone at your level:)))
Regarding Kelly, I would never buy someone else’s bib and run an entire race with it, but hey, she did that before she was really a runner and knew exactly what she was doing… when you know better, you do better. But I would really like your input on the Runner’s World article… I read that, and it basically said you can’t jump in run with someone for even a few miles in a marathon, etc. I have both jumped in and helped keep someone company in the last few miles of a marathon, and had my husband and son jump in the last 3 miles of LA marathon to get me through, and I would do both again…. I actually am going to post that article to FB and ask runner friends what they think of that… I think that helping people through a marathon is part of the marathon culture…. thoughts?? Thanks for the reminder … putting it on my FB and polling…..
I LOVE that I can give you triathlon cred with your husband. How cool is that? I also love that he’s getting into triathlon so much…I’m not sure if I wish mine would or wouldn’t…I kinda like not sharing time but would love a swim and ride partner.
As for Kelly – the problem is she does know better now but seems to not be doing better. I agree with jumping in and running someone to the finish. I’ve done it and had friends do it for me but, the argument is that is what pace groups are for and – for the record – I HATE pace groups and would rather have people jumping in the last few miles. However – I’m no Kelly Roberts and she is this HUGE influence for some reason and I think, when you reach that level and it comes with a responsibility to do the right thing. Is it a big deal if a few people are doing it? I don’t think so but she has the ability to influence SO MANY people and that’s where we get into trouble.
I’m interested to see what your FB poll shows… I smell an article for you in this…
Sorry… one more thing as I just put it on my FB so let me rehash here…. if every person who was going to run a few miles of a race bought a bib, there would be less spots for those who want to actually complete the race in the ones that sell out, and the DNS and DNF stats would be screwed up………
And whether or not Kelly is a professional or not does not matter… it matters that seeing regular women out there inspires other regular women to get up and move and challenge themselves….. (I think I’m done, the hubs says hey….)
I agree to a certain extent but BECAUSE Kelly is so influential is why she should be influencing others to run and race the right way. And please – tell me more if you want to – you have free range here…you know that ๐
Oh. man, I hadn’t even heard of that Kelly Roberts thing. I tend to only care about myself. HA HA! A mostly not true statement.
Anyway, nice week or workouts and I don’t know much about triathlons but your results look pretty damn champion to me. I have a Dyson too! It’s nearly 10 years old and still kicks dirty ass. I love that thing. I’m glad to hear you got yours replaced!
This is also why I love you – you’re clueless to all the ridiculousness of the sport!!
And YES to all things dirty Dyson!
I love that Star jumped into swim!! And a Dyson is an absolute lifesaver, and that just makes me love their vacuums even more.
Congrats on your fastest swim at the tri and AG win!
I always want to give others the benefit of the doubt, but I honestly have a hard time with how Roberts rose to popularity. I’m a feminist in the sense that I am uncomfortable with the objectification of either gender and the selfies of hot men claim to fame borders on objectification. If a man did that, there would be uproar (rightfully so, because those people didn’t consent to their likeness being used in such a manner). I don’t know, maybe I just have too much of a stick up my butt. As for the banditing, you know my thoughts… running needs to maintain its integrity. At times it did seem like people got out of hand on the criticism of Roberts, but she is a well-known name in our sport and thousands of runners admire her for her body positivity message – and the more people look up to you, the more you need to be aware of the way your behavior can influence others.
Oh Laura I agree with so much of what you’re saying and your entire train of thought. I honesty had no idea Kelly was the same woman who took all those selfies. I have never read her blog (although I was of course aware of it) and never linked the two. I think a good dose of controversy is good for our sport every now and then and I do not think you have a stick up your butt at all. Thanks so much for your always honest and intelligent input!
I just snorted my coffee reading the into to this post. Beach ball sized lady nuts. LOL!!!!!
Did Dyson love your story? They should collect weird accident stories and post them somewhere. That is a good one… and something I would do. I have no idea how to properly throw a frisbee, and there’s basically always a glass of wine hanging around.
Thank God someone noticed that!! LOL! I actually stole that line from the Walking Dead. I’ve been waiting to work it into a post ๐
And Dyson should absolutely have a page dedicated to stories like mine. It was pretty hilarious.
whew! Yes I’ve been paying attn to this story but haven’t quite shared my own feelings on it. I was kinda shocked to see her on the cover because 1) I do not get her appeal 2) people are super serious about banditting and I don’t think that Oiselle should stand behind this because its quite dishonorable…so that had me more than befuddled. She’s just not my cup of tea, and I’ll remember Oiselle for this forever.
Of course I agree with you 100% and it’s this kind of thinking that made me step down from Oiselle last year. I wasn’t surprised to see her on the cover because she has such a wide appeal – it’s more the wide appeal I don’t get! Thanks for your comments my friend.
I love how you write your articles, so entertaining! Yes, my husband bought a Dyson 10 years ago and itโs still in good condition. Totally worth the money! Wow, even their customer service is superb!
Thanks so much and yes, Dyson is worth every penny! Hopefully I will have this one longer than a year…
Awesome week! I’m looking forward to training that’s trying to kill me… right now i”m just hoping I’m doing enough. it takes more time to cross train and feel like I’m getting the same kind of workout in, but I’m adding running in next week and excited.
I remember you having the Health Warrior bars at the running retreat and always think of you when I see them at the store!
I know how you feel about cross training because I feel the same. Running is just such a tough, hard effort and it’s hard to mimic.
I love that you think of me whenever you see Health Warrior. #warmfuzzy
I love my Dyson too, and now I love it even more! Stay away from frisbees, please. And congrats on your ambassadorship (is that a word?) – off to check out Health Warrior right now!
Right? And yes, no more frisbees for me…at least not while I’m drinking on the deck.
Hope you love Health Warrior bars as much as I do!