There is a difference you know…or maybe you don’t? I had a lightbulb moment myself when reading Lori Gottlieb’s Maybe You Should Talk to Someone? When the author and therapist found herself on the opposite side of a professional’s couch after a horrible break-up, sobbing crying for the third or fourth session, her new therapist walked over and gently kicked her in the foot.
“Ouch! What was that?”
“Well, you seem like you’re enjoying the experience of suffering so I thought I would help you out with that...
…there’s a difference between pain and suffering…you’re going to have to feel pain – everyone feels pain at times – but you don’t have to suffer so much.”
Excerpt from Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
I’d be lying if I said I’m not having a hard time adjusting to the humiliation of the Duathlon National Championships and not racing another half IM in a few weeks. In fact, I have no triathlons on my schedule for the foreseeable future. It’s a mental and physical adjustment that is always just below the surface of my feelings these days. Although there’s nothing I can do about the duathlon and I’m choosing to make some significant changes in my life, I need to be reminded that I don’t have to punish myself and suffer. And neither do you!
I also can’t wait to kick my new clients in session once I have my counseling license. #JK
WEEK OF MAY 13, 2019
RUNNING
Although I’m not racing triathlon, I am racing a 100 mile relay race with some of my best running friends! I’m using the race in August as an opportunity to get some speed back into these old legs. I asked my coach to put together a 12 week plan that focuses on speed without losing my bike and swim fitness.
So far, not so fast…
Monday – recovery from Road to the Pogue trail race | 3.8 miles easy | 9:02 pace
Friday – LSD (long slow distance) | 8.02 miles | 8:34 pace
Sunday – 5 miles easy | 8:40 pace
Total = 16.8 miles
CYCLING
I’m sure you have heard that the weather is sucking big time in the northeast. I’ve had to take my bike on and off the trainer multiple times and it makes me very cranky. #thesearemyproblems
I was able to do one “smell the pollen” ride on Thursday and it was fantastic. While indoors I caught up on Killing Eve and VEEP. No complaints there.
Tuesday – indoor cycling | 1:00:05 | 17 miles
Thursday – easy outdoor ride | 1:20:33 | 23.7 miles
Total = 40.7
SWIM + STRENGTH
I’m still going strong with Antwan on Wednesdays and including a recovery swim afterwards. It’s the perfect combo. Antwan has been slowly tearing me down and building me back up with each workout and I hate to love the hour of pain. I know it will pay off in faster running with zero injury so I grit and get through it!
Wednesday – one hour of each!
THINGS I LOVE
I’ve decided to take my first class toward my master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling this summer. It’s a 6-week intensive on counseling diverse populations. I’ve already started reading the text because I can’t wait to get my learn on.
It’s going to be pretty interesting being in class with 20-year olds. I’m so glad I chose now to grow out my grey hair! Let the growing pains begin…
THINGS I DON’T LOVE AS MUCH
I have an unhealthy obsession with my Garmin fenix 3 watch. You may already know, but in the three years I’ve had this baby I almost never take it off and, it feels like an extension of me. I know, it’s weird.
Even with fur, an evening gown and Christian Louboutins, it does not leave my wrist…
When I heard about the Garmin 5S Plus with it’s built-in heart rate monitor (no more chest chaffing!) music capabilities (no more carrying my phone on my back!) and even Garmin pay, I was dazzled and decided it was time for an upgrade.
The day finally came when I got it in the mail and… it’s SO SMALL! Yes, I realize the one I have is gigantic but that’s part of the reason I love it. It stands out! It’s a gorgeous timepiece! And I’m guessing I’m one of the only women in sport that wanted a watch THIS big because these colors do not come in a bigger size for the fenix 5 Plus.
Why Garmin? Why? Damn you! The new watch has been sitting on my desk for days as I contemplate if I really want it or not.
In case you have to ask, yes, I’m choosing to suffer over this ridiculousness.
FUEL
I haven’t talked about food in a while here, but I must tell you about these delicious bites I’ve made twice now. I barely cook or bake, so anything I make more than once is worth sharing.
Healthy PB+J Oatmeal Cups! These babies check all my boxes – easy, healthy, delicious, filling and more than one person in my house will eat them.
Do yourself a favor and whip some up…
READING
No matter how you may feel about Howard Stern, he is an exceptional interviewer. He’s also extremely honest and aware of how far he has come from the days of Fartman and having an all-day lesbian parade on the radio.
Don’t get me wrong, he still has some ridiculous and crass insanity going on during his Sirius XM show and the maturity level on any given day is questionable. What is not, are his materful interviewing skills and they are on full display in his new book Howard Stern Comes Again.
It’s filled with some of the most intriguing interviews from his over 30 year career and includes his thoughts going into the interviews as well as highlights and pictures. Some of my favorites are Madonna, Alec Baldwin, Dave Matthews, Conan O’Brien, Snoop Dogg, Claire Danes, Tracey Morgan…I mean, how much time do you have?
Even if you hate Howard Stern, I can recommend this book because it’s barely about him. He also has a very interesting take on our current, um, president, as he was not only personal friends with him but interviewed him over 20 times. The friendship ended when Stern declined to speak on Trump’s behalf. Stern is a Hillary Clinton fan.
I highly recommend it to escape any pain and/or suffering.
RANDOM QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Because I’m a total nerd when it comes to reading, I have endless highlights from any book that was an exceptional read. You can imagine how many I have for Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.
I was scrolling through these digital highlights on my iPad when I came across this gem. It was from a therapy session with a woman who had terminal cancer:
“Sometimes the only thing to do is yell ‘Fuck!'”
I, of course, 100% agree with that advice and, it actually works. Now I have two things to look forward to in my new career – kicking people and yelling ‘fuck!’ This is going to be amazing.
Here’s to a week of ending all suffering!
Do you let yourself suffer? Over what?
Which Garmin do you think I should choose – new or old?
Thoughts on Howard Stern?
I want to read Howard Stern’s book. He’s a very interesting person. I agree about sometimes all you can do is yell and swear. It’s a form of therapy, right?
I have been listening to him for decades and its been so interesting to hear the evolution. I highly recommend the book. I can’t put it down! And yes, yelling swears in actually a proven form of stress relief so have at it my friend 🙂
Those PB&J oatmeal cups look divine! I’m always on the lookout for healthy breakfast options that are portable (so I can bring to lunch) and these would be perfect!
I’ve been thinking of picking up Howard’s new book so thanks for the thumbs up on that!
For me they are more of a snack but if you can get away with them for a meal – do it! They are delicious.
Definitely get yourself a copy of the new book. I saw it for 30% at Barnes and Noble the other day…:-)
Very interesting quote about pain and suffering that book sounds something I would enjoy. Thanks is for sharing and those muffins look delish
I think with your background and degree you would really appreciate it. It’s FILLED with gems like the bit about pain and suffering. And the muffins are a must – so quick and easy to make!
All I needed to hear was that Howard Stern is a Hillary Clinton fan- sold! I will be checking out his book ASAP. And in your honor I will try to find a perfect time today to yell “fuck.” Shouldn’t be too hard on a Monday!
Right? I think people assume he’s a Trump supporter because of their friendship but NO WAY! The interviews are just so engaging. I think you will love it! And yelling “fuck” is almost a given on a Monday so get to it 🙂
The old watch!! 100%!!! Took a screenshot of the muffins!! You are brave to start classes in the summer.. Hope you love it.
Thank you!!! And yes, brave is a good word for it but I’m just so eager to get started!!…well see if I regret it 🙂
I had Lori Gottlieb’s book in my inbox from the library but I was reading 2 other books and couldn’t get to it. I’ll have to get back on the waiting list! Last week, I was seriously contemplating going to talk to someone. I mean, hello again anxiety? Yikes. After spending the weekend with Holly, I realized that it’s not just me. It’s menopause and it’s not fun. I’m glad to know that I have company and that we are going to do this thing together. Damn it.
I think everyone can benefit from therapy and especially anyone suffering from anxiety. I also think you will LOVE this book and all the perspective she shares about her past clients – it’s super interesting. And yep, menopause is on the horizon for me so it’s really great knowing it will intensify my anxiety. I need to go run like 30 miles now… LOL 🙂
Lots of great Questions this week!! On suffering….I used to really beat myself up for super stupid shit I’ve done-mainly Mom guilt over feeling like I’m not a good enough parent. Now…my life is great, my son is a great kid, and what good what it have done to make myself perpetually suffer for Yesterday ?? Tomorrow is whatever it will be, so I take Today and the Gift it is (that’s why it’s called the Present!)
On the watch: Love the old one!!! However-the new one has many perks that I personally wouldn’t overlook.
And on Howard: You know how I feel about him, Allie….we just love him. I was reading the book and my Husband came into our room-is said “Oh no!!’ You caught me in bed with another man!!!” Howard is a gem-more people need to appreciate his contribution to not only Journalism and Radio, but to our society as a whole. Get your head out of your asses, people and hope on the Howard Train! If I had dinner with a few notables, Howard would be one of them (along with Chelsea Handler and Lenny Kravitz). Ok-enough from me. Have a great week, all!!
Mom guilt is THE WORST and we all do it. You should have zero with that son of yours – he is amazing!!! Yes – the present is such a gift, which is a lesson I learned a long time ago.
I know you love Howard. The book is better than I expected!!!
And can I please get an invite to that dinner? OMG – love all the people you chose and the conversation would be off the chain!! Love you!
You certainly may join me at that Dinner-as an accomplished and driven woman and fantastic Mom and Wife, you need a seat !
I too was surprised at how small the new watch is but have gotten used to it. You are so motivated! I love that you have already started reading for your class. You are going to kick ass back in school!
Oh you have the new one? I may be texting you with questions!!
And, I’m so excited to start class. I can’t wait until next week 🙂 Thanks friend and congratulations again on your half marathon!
You are going to be one helluva great counselor! I’ve been yelling “fuck” quite a bit lately. Sometimes it’s all you can do. My husband keeps telling me how great Howard Stern is. I rarely get past his crassness but there’s more there than meets the eye. I do have to admit he is a great interviewer.
HAHAHA!!! Thanks Marcia. And, in this instance, you should listen to your husband. I don’t recommend Howard’s radio show for everyone but this book absolutely is! Good luck with everything you have going on this week. And send me the names of the people who still haven’t RSVPd…LOL!!
My husband bought several models of the latest Garmins to try when he picked his out. I guess REI has a pretty good return policy so he wasn’t too concerned about that! He also has a Fenix. He always used to complain about how inaccurate the Fenix 3 was, but his new one is much better.
Oh that is too funny!! I never had an issue with my old fenix and I have yet to try the new one so we shall see! Thanks.
Thanks for the examination of pain vs. suffering. Very illuminating. I loved it! And those oatmeal cups – yum! I am “suffering” right now from sugar withdrawal. Trying to cut out added sugar to lower my cholesterol numbers – yes, there is a link between sugar intake and cholesterol. Sigh!
So interesting, right? I never thought about it that way and now I have a new perspective.
The oatmeal cups are so easy and delicious – I hope you make them and love them! And I did not know there is a link between sugar intake and cholesterol. Good luck with that 🙁
That is a dilemma regarding the Garmin(s)….I’m kind of liking the BIG one, but my motto is “fashion before function,” so the practicality (and fitness functionality) may not be in sync with what you’re looking for LOL. That said, I’m not much of a Garmin gal…I do have one, but I only wear it for races or tracking GPS. I had never though of the suffering aspect of pain, but I do believe “suffering” is more of a choice than an effect. Lots to think about!! Thanks for linking!!
I do like “fashion before function!” I’m going to TRY the new one and see how I feel. I love the fenix because I mostly do triathlon and it has ALL the options for swim, bike and run…not to mention getting all my texts, phone calls and emails. I’m addicted 🙂
And yes, to think about having the option to “suffer” makes a big difference, right? Love it! Thanks Kim!
I kind of like the way you rock your old huge watch. Not everyone can carry that off. Having said that, new toys are always fun!
Thank you!! And yes, the pull of a new toy may get me to fold. I can always wear the old one, right?
Thanks Debbie!
Ha I actually don’t think the watch looks very out of place because of the white and rose gold. Maybe if it was a forerunner. Anyway, I am thankful watches are getting smaller. I’m looking forward to eventually getting more speed on my legs as well.
Haha – thanks Hollie!
Yelling fuck is so cathartic! I love how you are diving straight into your first class! Both watches are soooo pretty but I would probably try out the new one, only because all the new features are so fun. But I also tend to be overly practical rather than fashionable.
Yes it is – and you will really appreciate it once you’re a parent 🙂
I’m trying the new one…and I LOVE it!!! Practicality wins.
actually it’s so true, there is a difference between pain and suffering!!
i think I let myself suffer sometimes when I start to think about how my life turned out. I don’t have a lot of friends, but then again I chose to live in a foreign country and I chose to stay here. But sometimes I let myself suffer and feel bad and then I get a kick up the bum and it’s over. I feel lonely a lot and I have my whole life; dwelling on that is really suffering that is kind of unnecessary.
As much as I respect those who do not curse, there is one thing everyone should be warned about – the word “fuck” is definitely in my vocabulary. And not just yelling it. It should, however always be carefully placed in whatever situation you are in. So it’s not every third word out of my mouth, but it does eventually come out of my mouth 🙂
I think it’s great you’ll be studying again!
I kind of like the bigger Garmin but if you think the new features are useful then don’t suffer through the decision – just weigh out pros and cons and make a change if you want to 🙂
I didn’t really know your back story but it sounds like it was a tough choice to stay in a foreign country and that you still struggle sometimes! I can’t imagine how hard that must be. Being lonely is one of the worst feelings and I think everyone can relate to it. It’s great that you get in so much running, cycling, pilates and all kinds of other strength and cardio to keep the suffering at bay 🙂
And I couldn’t agree with you more about the proper placement of swears. They need to have impact to be effective!! I think you and I would get along amazingly well in that regard – LOL!
I’ve been testing out the new, smaller Garmin and I have to admit – it’s AMAZING!
Thanks so much for your heartfelt comments. I really appreciate it. xo
1. LMFAO about your watch. Your watch is like my Adidas. I wear them DESPITE the situation I am supposed to be dressed for! HAHAHAHAHA! These are just pieces of us that people need to accept 😉
2. HECK YES to you going back to school and taking that intense ass class this summer! I am so curious to hear how you like being in a class with 20-year-olds, LOL!
3. You’re a badass, even if you’re not competing in any Triathlons anytime soon!
Thanks GiGi! I now feel I need Adidas added to my wardrobe stat! And, let me tell you, some of these 20 year-olds have their shit together far more then I did at their age and it’s super impressive and gives me hope for the future – LOL!
Oh, that’s wonderful to know because the only 20-year-olds I see are… STRAIGHT UP MESSES and makes me nervous for the future! LOL!