One of the most mind blowing practices I have learned in grad school so far is the concept of Radical Acceptance. Developed by Marsha Linehan and used in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), the practice is based on the notion that reality must be accepted, rather than fought against, and that fighting and railing against a situation is a greater cause of suffering than the situation itself. #boom
Living with a president who is a racist, homophobic, sexist, ignorant ass hat? Radical acceptance.
Kids taking 15 minutes just to get out of bed in the morning? Radical acceptance.
My mom, who would have turned 70 last week, has been gone for over 25 years? Radical acceptance.
It’s hard as hell (and should not be used in dangerous situations like abusive relationships) but can be applied to a shitty breakup, a sudden disruption in life plans (like losing your job), the death of almost anyone you know or care for and even the loss of a friendship.
This not to say you can’t change things or that you have to like them, however, before you can move forward you have to accept shit the way it is. Spoiler alert: you can’t change other people, so just focus on YOU.
I’ll talk more about it in “Things I Love” so feel free to skip right to it…

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020
RUNNING
I have radically accepted that I don’t track every single detail of my workouts anymore. I have good days and bad days. #thestruggleisreal
According to my AppleWatch I did 27 workouts in January. It doesn’t track snowboarding, and there’s quite a few days of that in January, but whatever.
Longest run: 9.27 miles
Shortest run: 1.36 miles (with my son!)
Average pace: 8:38
Total miles: 132.19
My best runs by far were the barefoot ones I did on the beaches of Turks & Caicos!

CYCLING
I’ve been on my bike trainer or in spin class at least twice a week. It’s more challenging to make up cycling workouts when I’m home so I usually use them for recovery days, that way I can really pay attention to Ray Donovan. #priorities

I can also claim I’m doing homework since I’ll be writing an assessment and treatment plan based on Liev Schreiber’s character, and all of his mental health issues, for school. Did I tell you how much I’m loving school?
STRENGTH TRAINING
The punishment continues with Antwan as does my track record for not having an injury. If you struggle with running injuries, look at your strength training program. And, if you’re asking “what strength training program?” there’s your answer. Radical acceptance.

THINGS I LOVE
Let’s talk about acceptance. It sucks. It truly does but, if you start practicing some of what Linehan has laid out, I believe it can only make things better.

From Linehan’s website, let’s start with the basics:
What is Radical Acceptance? All the way, complete and total; it is accepting it in your mind, heart and body. It’s when you stop fighting reality, stop throwing tantrums because reality is not the way you want it to be, and let go of bitterness. #jaggedlittlepill
What has to be accepted? Reality as it is. There are limitations to everyone’s future but only realistic limitations need to be accepted, ie., I will never have a girl’s night with Taylor Swift. Everything has a cause, including events and situations that cause you pain and suffering and life can be worth living even with painful events, ie., having your mom die when you’re 17.

Why accept reality? Rejecting it does not change anything and changing it requires that you first accept it. Pain can’t be avoided; it is nature’s way of signaling something is wrong. Rejecting reality turns pain into suffering (I wrote a whole post on this!) and refusing to accept reality can keep you stuck in unhappiness, bitterness, shame, anger, sadness or other painful emotions. The path out of hell is through misery (sorry but you have to go though it!) by refusing to accept the misery that is part of climbing out of hell, you fall back in.
“If you’re going though hell, keep on going.” < – – I think that’s from a country song?
THINGS I DON’T LOVE AS MUCH
All the nonsense surrounding JLo and Shakira from the Super Bowl halftime show. Here are the bullet points for your reading convenience:
- If you’re going to be mad at them, be angry they agreed to perform at the super bowl in the first place. As a fan of the NFL and someone who was glued to the super bowl game, I’m ashamed I cannot turn away from it and therefore cannot properly condemn two smart, strong women from saying “no” to the NFL in general, and the halftime show specifically, based on the NFL’s liberal acceptance of sexual, martial and even child abusers (I’m looking at you Tyreek Hill) who are allowed to play in the league and paid millions of dollars to do so. If you want to be disgusted, be disgusted by THAT.
- JLo and Shakira did not deviate from who they are. This is the way these women have always performed and its amazing, inspiring and motivating! Don’t get me started on what they were wearing. Did anyone watch last year?

3. You have a remote control. If the halftime show was too much for your kids, change the channel. The end. #radicalacceptance
TELEVISION
I have been watching a lot of tv for someone in grad school. I do not apologize for it. Here’s the best of the past two months:
Miss Americana: Taylor Swift documentary – Say what you will about TS but please wait until after you have watched this on Netflix. My husband is not a huge fan but I basically made him watch it because I knew it would change his mind about her. She talks about all the things women need to hear more of, essentially, how fucking hard it is to be a woman. Swift discusses her struggles within a male dominated industry (which one isn’t?), her eating disorder, her reputation, what it feels like to be hated by millions and so much more. Overall I was just so proud of who she has become, how she uses her power for good and her talent is truly unbelievable. To watch her create is to watch genius at work. And no, I’m not exaggerating even a little bit.

The Outsider: HBO – Ok, this show is creepy AF because it’s based on a book by Stephen King but it’s so well written and acted, and it has Jason Bateman. #micdrop I don’t recommend watching alone but I highly recommend watching because you will not know what the hell is going on and that is insanely fun.
The Goop Lab: Netflix – Before you roll your eyes into the back of your head, let me explain. I too hated the queen of all non-reality who peddled high priced nonsense to Los Angeles socialites in the name of “health.” However, after I read She Said, the book about how two NYTimes journalists took down that scumbag Harvey Weinstein, I changed my mind about Gwenyth. And now, after watching all the Goop Lab episodes (with my willing husband!) I’m an even bigger fan. Do yourself a favor and at least watch “Cold Comfort” and “Are You Intuit?” It will not disappoint.
RANDOM PICTURE OF THE WEEK
I love that my idiocy can make my friend’s day. And yes, I seriously thought this…

It’s a great song and yes, Chris Martin (lead singer of Coldplay) and Goop woman herself Gwyneth Paltrow’s children sing backup – they are 15 and 13 – along with other kids. Radical acceptance!
I hope you can practice some radical acceptance this week! Have a great one.
The principle of radical acceptance is interesting and also needed. We cannot move forward without accepting, thank you for sharing.
Also I’m a TV-A-Holic as well so I feel slightly better. π
Thanks Hollie! I had to share the concept and, at good to know I’m not the only one watching a ton of TV π
“If you struggle with running injuries, look at your strength program”. YES! Why don’t people get this? The weights have to be heavy, too.
I look old: Radical Acceptance. But I don’t have to act old!
Thanks for the usual morning pick me up! π
Yes to heavy weights! And, as you and I know, it makes a HUGE difference in running and life when weights are a part of your regular routine.
You have the radical acceptance practice down!! LOL!
Radical Acceptance is a concept so many people I know could benefit from.
Sorry about losing your mother at such a young age. I lost my mom in my forties and it still feels unfair.
…which is why I wanted to share!!
Thank you for saying that and yes, I think no matter what age you lose your mom, it’s too soon. Sorry for your loss. It IS unfair.
I need to sit down and make a list of all the things I need to radically accept. I have definitely accepted that I will never have a body like j. Lo. Or Shakira and when I was watching it, I just kept thinking that I know itβs hours a day of working out and watching everything you eat 24/7 to have those bodies at those ages, and that seems so exhausting to me and something I have no interest in trying to maintain, but this is their job and they are doing it well. Going to check out Americana, but I too really have always disliked Gwenyth and started watching gooplab and it is intriguing
I hear you! It’s probably less exhausting to them because it’s their life’s passion!…and they have the money to take care of all those “little” things like errands, eating, working out, childcare, shopping…you know, all the things we’re doing ourselves!
At least watch one episode of Goop and see what you think. Better yet – read “She Said” because that will definitely change your mind!
Thus far I’ve stayed away from Goop Lab because of GP but if you say it’s worth a watch, then I’ll give it a shot. I’m intrigued by TS as well. I’m sad she’s hated by so many. I don’t get that.
AT least watch one episode and see what you think, but I definitely hear you on not being a fan of GP.
As for TS – she is LOVED by so many but its so sad that she is genuinely affected by the negative. I still don’t think she knows the kind of power she has!! Of course, she’s still so young…
I’m still floored by the whole Shakira and J.Lo thing. First off, what did they expect them to wear and do – covered neck to toe and stand behind a microphone? Please. Off subject, kind of, but it’s something to fuel your TV watching. π Have you seen The Brainwashing of My Dad? It’s a documentary that came out in 2015 (before things got REALLY shitty) about TV news, talk radio and how it is brainwashing people. It was very interesting. Anyway…I have been wanting to watch the TS documentary but Ron has been hesitant. I’ll tell him you said it was good…you’ve never let us down with your recommendations before. π
I have not seen that but I’m intrigued! I will definitely add it to the list π So funny about Ron and the TS documentary. Mike definitely did NOT want to see it but he did and it did change his mind about HER…not really her music – LOL!!
I don’t get why there was such a big fuss about JLo and Shakira! It seemed nowhere near as bad as some previous years. If anything, I was just impressed with their dancing skills – bellydancing is a sport!
I haven’t watched Goop Lab yet, but I want to! I’m in the minority and like Gwyneth (probably because she’s Pepper Potts, tbh). When I was scoring high on the Edinburgh test and struggling with PPA, I found some helpful articles on Goop that were far more honest and in-depth than other parenting websites.
I too am a Pepper Potts fan and its so great to hear you found value and truth in Goop articles, at a time when you really needed some in-depth honesty! Thank you for sharing that Laura π
And, long live all things Marvel!!
I agree with you, we should all start practicing radical acceptance in our lives, as hard as that can be. Love how you used the term to describe recent events in your life and related it to them. Great advice!
I like the way you describe the latest events in your life and relate them to them. Great advice!