You read that correctly. I have decided to cancel my trip to Omaha and not race the USA Triathlon National Age Group Championship…and I feel so good about it. If you have been following my training this year you know it has been a struggle, especially these past few months. Going on a two week vacation gave me the space I needed to make the decision I knew was the right one. Nothing about it was easy, and I’m sure these next few weeks will be interesting but right now I’m feeling pretty damn good.
After I took the DNS at Litchfield Hills in mid-July my coach decided I needed at least one week of vacation for unstructured workouts. She told me to try and reconnect with what brought me to triathlon in the first place and to remember why I love to swim, bike and run.
And it had nothing to do with racing.
The magic was in appreciating the miles without structure. Running to the ocean and back whenever you want will rekindle the passion for simply running for the sake of it. I loved each and every run on the Cape and, with these views, how could you not?
This was probably my favorite activity at the Cape. Riding out on Route 28 or 6A, first thing in the morning was amazing. The roads are well kept and the views were stunning! Other riders and runners were super friendly, the towns were quaint and (of course) the payoff of riding to the ocean was spectacular.
I also had so much fun (and some frustration, of course) riding with my kids on the Cape Cod Rail Trail. My dad used to take my brother and I biking along the same trail, starting when I was about the age my boys are now. My dad was deliriously happy to recreate this tradition with his grandsons and grown daughter, even if there was more than a few pit stops in the whopping 10 miles we rode.
This is what it’s all about…
Somehow we landed in a place on Cape Cod down the street from another Crystal Lake! This one also happened to be a favorite local swimming spot. The lake was gorgeous, clean and only about a half-mile across. Within our first half day there, I saw at least three men and women swim the length of it and back. I couldn’t wait to join in…after a few turns on the swan of course…
We also started the boys on the SUP and kayak while doing plenty of each ourselves. If this is cross training, I could do it all day long.
THINGS I LOVE
Making this incredibly difficult decision for all the right reasons.
I always said I would stop competing so fiercely when it stopped being fun. It stopped. Abruptly.
I could have dragged my entire family out to Omaha this week and raced to basically fulfill the commitment I made but all I ever thought about when envisioning crossing the finish line there was how great it would be for it to be over. Not exactly the motivation required to compete.
Also, the goal for this race was to qualify for the world championship team, a goal that is no longer attainable. I know without a doubt I don’t have a chance of making that team and, more importantly, I don’t even want to anymore.
The biggest question is why? Why has the fire been extinguished? The answer right now is “I have no fucking clue,” but it’s definitely gone for the time being, and I’m completely at peace with it.
While my college roommate was visiting, I hashed it all out with her. I remembered this is my year to live like I was dying, in honor of turning 42, the age my mom was when she died of ovarian cancer 24 years ago.
If this was my last year to live, there is no way in hell I would go to Omaha to race.
That was the deciding factor.
I am definitely making this year count!
THINGS I DON’T LOVE AS MUCH
Completely and totally misinterpreting one of my most favorite running songs ever.
Oddly enough, when I need her most, Brittany Bitch comes though my ears loud and clear telling me if I want to attain all my goals, I need to work bitch! But, I never really thought about the “goals” she so eloquently lays out in the lyrics:
You want a hot body? Yep.
You want a boob god-y? Sounds like something I definitely need.
You want a maserati? Hell yes!
You want a lamborghini? See above.
Sip martinis? All day.
Look hot in a bikini? Check!
You better work bitch!
Wait!!! There is nothing about swimming, running and cycling until you want to poke your eyes out! All of those things to “work” for seem so much better than what I’m doing.
Finally! I hear you girl!!! PREACH!
I mentioned my college roommate was in town from California by way of North Carolina, right? It was fantastic in so many ways – – we went to yoga, she was my SUP support while I did an open water swim, she even folded my laundry and we shopped, ate and drank our faces off. She also gave the boys possibly the best gifts ever…
She also introduced me to one of the funniest female comics I have ever had the pleasure of peeing myself to while watching – – Ali Wong. If you have never seen her or the special she does seven months pregnant (Baby Cobra) while acting out gratuitous sex and other interesting situations, you need to watch now…
One of my favorite parts is how she talks about feminism being the worst thing that happened because every mom could just stay at home and watch Ellen. She notes that Sheryl Sandberg encourages women to Lean In but she wants to Lie Down.
I also want to lie down.
RANDOM QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Hell no, she said – you EARNED that DNS.
Be proud of that DNS.
I mulled it over, and came to the conclusion – hell yes. Yes, I am owning that DNS. I ran my way into that race, and while I couldn’t toe the start line, it doesn’t take away the previous accomplishment of securing that elusive golden ticket. And if anything, it serves as a reminder to keep that fire lit, to keep myself hungry to get back out there.
[Tweet “The decision not to #race, my favorite new comic and finally understanding #workbitch”]
How was your month?
Have you made any revelations this summer?
Ever see Ali Wong?