If you don’t recognize the title of this post as the partial lyrics from a Bob Dylan song then I may be too old for you. This is basically how I feel at grad school every time I’m on campus and I try not to say anything too trendy (Hey Boomer!) or too old (My bad!) and it’s an interesting dance. At least I’m keeping my hair lively…but that’s not the only thing that’s changing.
OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2019
RUNNING
It’s funny, now that I have zero upcoming races on my calendar (a huge change!), running has become more important than ever. It’s like suddenly, after 20 years of running, I might lose the ability to do so because I don’t have an upcoming race. I’ve been running 4-5 days a week, sometimes with speed, sometimes really slowly, and I’m thoroughly enjoying it.
The Vermont 10 Miler in Stowe that I planned to run was cancelled at the last minute because of storm damage. It was disappointing but also kind of relieving. I wanted to run it but it was going to involve a lot of driving so…
I’m always open to running the Colchester Half Marathon at the end of February but, right now, I’m focused on ski season! Opening day at Okemo is Nov 22. Hell yeah. – – > bonus: I get a student discount season pass!
CYCLING
My bike has made the move from the roads to the trainer in my basement. I’m not sad about it. After watching El Camino (the Breaking Bad movie) I started watching the entire series of Breaking Bad from season1, episode 1. That should keep me busy on the bike through the new year.
SWIMMING + STRENGTH
My strength trainer has ramped up my fitness for snowboarding season and has me using a ridiculously difficult balance board. I can’t even squat on it without my lower body shaking like crazy. Obviously it’s my mission to dominate this wobble board. I asked if I could take it home and he just laughed. I was serious.
Luckily, he only posts videos of me looking strong and stable. Follow Antwan on Instagram @twondizzle to see more of me…and some of the professional athletes he trains!
As for swimming, I mostly do it when I have time which is probably twice a month at this point. I knew it would be the first to go when I scaled back on training and racing but it just makes me appreciate my time in the pool that much more. #winwin
THINGS I LOVE
Observing and listening to kids in my classes that are 15 years younger than me. Hell, two of my professors right now are younger than me…and have doctoral degrees. It’s humbling but also such a great way to look back without actually going back because seriously, I would never (ever, ever, ever) want to do that.
I find it funny that most people my age think the younger generation is so brash and entitled. At my school, I’m experiencing just the opposite. I see kids who are humble, kids who are bright but are afraid to advocate for themselves — I mean, some of them have a hard time emailing a professor to ask for things they need. They are severely polite, respectful, and most of all, just fucking young. And ok there are are a few dopes who add nothing to class but ignorance and attitude, but there are only a few.
There’s something to be said about waiting 15 years or so before going to graduate school, maybe especially for clinical mental health counseling. I feel like the sheer experiences I have had (both my trauma and life experiences) are helping me so much. I cannot fathom having done this work when I was 25 but, then again, at that age I was living in Los Angeles on my own and working a well-paying job I loved so…what the hell do I know?
My point is, I’m really loving learning from these kids (and yes, they are kids to me) and seeing life though their eyes, really listening to their point of view and (luckily) I’m able to have conversations about things like TikTok because I have two 10 year-olds at home…a topic most of them either find adorable or horrifying. They’re both right.
THINGS I DON’T LOVE AS MUCH
It’s not that I don’t love this so much but it’s just a big, noticeable change.
I’ve started unsubscribing to several running and triathlon related emails and magazines and now have Psychology Today and SSRN feeds.
I’ve shifted my focus at grad school from wanting to do run/walk therapy to wanting to help and treat marginalized groups and those who are least likely to either seek help or afford it.
When I wake up in the morning I think about papers I need to write and exams I need to study for instead of what’s on my TrainingPeaks app.
I feel myself slowly shifting into this new life and it’s sad, exciting, emotional and nerve racking.
The question I used to dread most when I was a stay-at-home mom was “what do you do for work?” and now it’s “when’s your next race?” It’s funny how quickly you become what you do but that’s never truly who you are. See, I’m going to start getting all psychological on your asses so buckle up! #therapynerd
READING/PODCASTS
I’ve come to realize that I usually only listened to music when I had a hard run workout to do so, I pretty much only listen to books or podcasts on my runs now and save Post Malone and Lizzo for dancing to in the kitchen with my kids.
PODCASTS
Revisionist History | Malcolm Gladwell — my absolute favorite and I’m pissed that I’ve listened to all four seasons at this point. My two favorites of season 4 were Puzzle Rush and The Tortoise and the Hare. It’s in two parts and you absolutely have to listen to both. And, from season 3: Free Brian Williams.
All three in a nutshell: whatever college education you have is just as good as Harvard or Yale and everyone changes their version of memory. Everyone. It’s how the brain works!
I’m also still listening to Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend but it’s seriously so hilarious that it’s sometimes too hard to run and listen because I’m laughing so much. If you need a challenge — listen to the episode with Bill Hader and tell me if you can listen to that and run at the same time. #notpossible
READING
I just started reading Jenna’s Bush-Hagar’s pick of Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson. Yeah, yeah, I never thought I would listen to her advice either but the woman can pick a good book, and this one is bananas!
Full disclosure: I’ve only listened to half of it so far but I actually didn’t want to stop running so I could hear what happens next! So yes, it’s about twins who spontaneously combust but it’s really about friendship and love and trust and fucked up childhood – and who can’t relate to that? So far, I highly recommend it. And I really hope they try to make this into a movie.
RANDOM PHOTO OF THE WEEK
I picked up this gem while in Burlington, Vermont with my aunts a few weeks ago. Some people like to have motivational signs but this really keeps things in perspective for me:
Have a great start to winter and please stop bitching about how it’s too dark or too cold or wahh wahh wahh. It’s ski and snowboard season, sweater weather, hot coffee when you really need hot coffee, warm socks, hot toddys by the fire (I don’t know what those actually are but they sound amazing), awesome holidays, traditions, some of the best movies ever and reminding yourself why you should only get together with extended family once a year, because some things (and people), never change.
How are things in your life changing?
Are you dreading or loving the winter season?
Read or listen to anything good lately?
I know the feeling. I’m excited for you and graduate school. I’ve shifted my mindset a lot from the running and social media world to a lot more military and personal writing. Honestly, I’m loving it.
I know I’ve told you, but your hair looks great. I love the color.
Well that is fantastic! I love the shift and happy for you.
I’ve missed you, Allie! Your whole post today feels oddly familiar. I’m feeling myself pull away from blogging and social media just because it doesn’t feel like it needs to be a priority in my life right now. I’m glad you are enjoying your classes with the kids. I feel shockingly old when I have student interns but it’s all good because we learn from each other.
I’ve missed you too! And yes, its funny how things shift and change isn’t it? And yes, soon I will be a freakin intern *insert eye roll* but I’m learning a lot from these kids 🙂
I’m sitting for my pediatric mental health specialist certification on Thursday and I’m a little nervous. I feel like I’ve learned a lot, that I do a good job with my patients, but ayyyyy it’s a test! Kids are really struggling these days and I think it’s great that you’re going to dedicate your career to helping people!
And as far as feeling like the oldest person in the room, can I just say hello? Is it me you’re looking for? Where have all the people my age gone?
Thanks so much Wendy and I’m sure you will ace your exam because you are a superstar!!! And OF COURSE it’s you I’m looking for – LOL < -- and I did when I read that!!
Nice to see you back! Sounds like you are primed and ready for ski season. Looking forward to seeing your fun photos. Thanks for linking up today
I’ve missed the link up and it’s good to be back! I’m definitely ready for ski season. It’s snowing in Vermont as I type this and I cannot wait to get out on the mountain.
I love all of this! Just this weekend I looked at my runner’s world and women’s running and realized that I just flip through the pictures but never read the articles anymore… but I still run 4 or 5 days a week… why can’t I say goodbye to the subscriptions…. and I love that you are switching from run/walk therapy to maybe something else… that’s the whole point of school… to figure it out!
OMG yes! You nailed it about school – it’s definitely all about figuring it out. Someone said to me the other day they didn’t decide what they wanted to do until they basically finished grad school. I’m looking forward to interning so I can really start doing the work.
Congratulations again on your book deal. You continue to amaze!!!
I distinctly remember going back to grad school at the ripe old age of 28 and a younger (maybe 2 years younger) friend asking me why I decided to go back to school “so late in life”. Really? Perspective people!
I love Malcolm G! How did I not know he has a podcast??
Love the ever changing hair!
Oh man – youth is truly wasted on the young, right? They have no clue what “late in life” is!! So funny. And you will LOVE the Malcolm G podcast – amazement awaits. You’re welcome 🙂
Wow, your hair is fabulous! Love the purple!
I’m totally with you on the running. I LOVE running, but I am doing it at my pace. The only thing I have on my calendar is a Turkey Trot. I’ve been logging 50 mile weeks, and they feel GREAT! No stress to meet certain paces or do a certain workout…it’s all good.
I’ll have to check out Malcolm’s podcast. He is a very engaging author, so I can only imagine that his podcast is just as entertaining as his books.
Enjoy ski season! We’re still in the 80s here in Florida, but not as humid. My hands and lips are already starting to dry out…LOL!
Thanks so much! And 50 mile weeks is no joke – glad you seem to be enjoying and not forcing the mileage.
The podcast is SO good and SO engaging – it’s classic Gladwell condensed into 50 min snippets. You will love it.
Enjoy the sun in Florida and the “cooler” weather – LOL!
Although the cold weather has its sucky moments (ummm, sub-ZERO temps and psychotic windchill), I do like dressing for it because it’s constant…cold outside and (usually) cold inside as well. I don’t have to be constantly carrying an extra sweater with me to fight off the air conditioning like I do in the summer…so, there’s my glass-half-full perspective ;-). I think it’s great that you’re back in school, and your future patients will be so blessed to have you at their side.
That is an EXCELLENT point!…although I always keep extra gloves in my car because you never have too many pairs!
Thanks so much for saying that about my future patients – I so appreciate it 🙂
Allie, I’ve missed you! I haven’t written in almost two months and I’ve been a horrible blog friend as well. But it’s wonderful to catch up with what you’ve been up to…can you believe that my baby will be one of those young grad students in your class next year? Well, not in your actual class, but still.
Btw, a warning about your boys’ Halloween pic would have been nice. I hate scary clowns and that photo scared the crap out of me.
I know you haven’t!! WTH?? I need more book recommendations 🙂
And I cannot believe your daughter (I’m assuming?) is going into grad school! Holy hell – where does the time go?
Sorry about the pic. The clown was actually a neighbors kid but it was fitting – haha. At least you got your HR rate up for the day.
How exciting that you’re going back to school! Good luck with your studies!
I need to check out this Conan podcast. I hadn’t heard of it before, but I love a good comedy podcast!
Thanks so much! And the Conan O’Brien podcast is hilarious. I hope you love it as much as I do!
Thanks for the book and podcast recommendations, I’m always looking for more to listen to while running.
Oh good! I hope you love them as much as I do!
Haha, you are hilarious “please stop bitching about how it’s too dark or too cold or wahh wahh wahh.” OK, I will stop bitching. 🙂 🙂
I’m glad you had the appropriate response – laughter 🙂 And I just get sick of the people who live in New England (or anywhere it gets dark and cold in the winter) and they complain ALL season long *insert eye roll* these same people also complain when it’s too hot so…
I absolutely loved reading this. It’s good to see you again. Your hair looks great (as you know my hair color also changes a bit… 🙂 ). I’m amazed at how you fit everything in and I’m in awe of you being in graduate school. I need a therapist so where can I sign up??? I’ll be checking out the podcasts and I’m making it a priority to watch El Camino. I definitely get all your “old” references but I’m thanking dog I have never heard someone say “hey boomer” (I still don’t know what’s going on…). Oh and I need that mug! You may or may not know… I’m not running. Not “allowed” until January. I am thinking about negotiating with my physio on this timeline though because even with doing other things, I’m not doing well without the run. As for the weather – it is what it is and people love to complain. Heck I even jump in from time just for shits and giggles.
Thank you so much!! And I think everyone can benefit from a GOOD therapist so find one and do the work – it’s so worth it:-)
And I did not know you were not running!? I hope you can negotiate something sooner than Jan because sometimes the “experts” don’t understand how we NEED running for our mental wellness!! And I know everyone (myself included) complains about the weather but it seems like, in New England, people complain ALL winter long (including pre-winter!) and it’s like “why do you live here?” Great to hear from you and I truly hope you can be back to running soon!
The ‘Run/Walk therapy’ sounds like a good shift. I myself am a mental health champion for UK Athletics and help organise and lead a run/walk & talk group. It’s very rewarding and can be quite emotional at times too. Best of luck with whatever you turn your hand to.
I’m sure it can be! Thanks for reading and for your comment. Sounds like you are doing some good work!