Like a lot of you I’m sure, I was invited to an “ugly sweater” Christmas party this year. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a new-ish trend where everyone comes to the party with the ugliest holiday sweater they can find. I’m not quite sure how it started, but it’s pretty hilarious.
I was invited to one last year and was accused of not having an ugly enough sweater. How dare they! I scoured the racks at Marshalls for just the right amount of ugly. And, let me tell you, the one I was wearing I would not have been caught dead in! Unfortunately, there are no photos from that party (since I wasn’t a blogger yet!) but trust me, it was hideous.
I was determined to get the ugliest sweater I could dig up for this year’s party, to redeem myself. In case you didn’t know, the answer is yes, I’m competitive with everything. It’s exhausting.
I was given the tip last year that Marshall’s was too high brow for such ugliness in holiday knits. It was suggested I go to a goodwill store. So, on a weekday afternoon in all of my SAHM bliss, I went straight to Starbucks. What? I needed to fuel up for this venture!
First World Holiday Problems
The drive-thru line at Starbucks rivals that of Disney World on a holiday weekend. I sat in my SUV for a full 15 minutes waiting to pay seven dollars for my grande vanilla soy latte. The worst part was that, for some reason I had no internet on my phone! What the what? No FB, no Instagram, no email checking – nothing. And Sirius had the audacity to do a replay of a Howard Stern show I had already heard. It was a long 15 minutes and yes, these are my problems. So sad.
Are We All Jerks?
I finally made my way to the goodwill store that I’m accustomed to donating to. I admit, I don’t think I had been in one for many, many years. I sauntered up to the store with my warm coat, hot latte and designer hand bag. I was immediately struck by the smell in there. Oh.dear.Lord. It was like a truckload of moth balls and stale air. My eyes watered as I staggered over to the rack the employees had conveniently set up with all the holiday sweaters on them. There was some doozies.
As I started holding up a few to see which one was ugliest, the older woman next to me looked at the sweater, then up at me and said “That’s a nice one.” Um, what? I mean, I know it’s people like that who wear these things and think they’re adorable but I immediately felt like a jerk. Here I was, at a donation center, buying a perfectly good sweater, to make fun of it for an entire night of partying.
I started to look around the store and noticed the moms who were obviously Christmas shopping, the older women picking out a “special” Christmas sweater from the same rack I was looking at, and the televisions lined up at the back of the store were ones I hadn’t seen in 10 years – not a flat screen in sight.
A Realization
I bought two of the ugliest pieces I could find (one for the hubs) and got out of there as fast as possible. At first I felt guilty for all that we have when people who live right near us have so little. Then I just felt sad. My husband and I donate a lot of time and money to charitable causes, but there’s nothing like being on the front lines.
These are the prizes I came home with.
When I recounted the story to my husband later on, he suggested I double the number of hams we were giving to the food pantry for the holiday week. This was not exactly the solution I was looking for.
Two days later I got a text from the host of the party saying her daughter had 102 temp and they would have to postpone it. We already have another party for the rescheduled date so I had to tell her we can’t make it.
I then had a warm fuzzy feeling knowing I wouldn’t have to wear the sweater of shame.
Yeah right.
I was so pissed off because I went though all that shit and a roller coaster of emotions about a stupid sweater, and now I wasn’t even going to the damn party! Furthermore, what the hell am I supposed to do with the two despicable sweaters I bought? Re-donate them? Is that a thing?
Damn you cold and flu season!
Have you been to an ugly sweater party?
Do you donate time or money during the holidays or though out the year?
What’s the longest time you’ve waited for a coffee?
Yes, yes and yes to the coffee scenario and sadly no wifi for me is like caffeine withdrawal and felt your pain just reading that part. As for the ugly sweaters, I say re-donate or hold onto for possibly another similar party next year. Hey you never know 😉
We are just so much alike Janine it’s ridiculous! And that is a great idea to save them. It didn’t even occur to me! Thanks 🙂
Oh man. So yeah the longest I have waited for coffee is about 0 minutes because I don’t drink coffee?! Lol but I have waited in Starbucks for my favorite green iced tea. Not fun. You should try a nyc Starbucks at about 8:55 am. You would lose it!! Sorry you didn’t get to wear the sweater after ALL of that!! I am pretty sure I saw an ugly sweater linky somewhere and you could always keep it for next year??
I would definitely lose it in the city!!!…although I’m sure there would be no WiFi issue and therefore not nearly as horrendous 🙂 YES I’m holding onto it for next year…of course I’ll probably forget where it is by the time I need it.
I want that green-ish santa sweater! It’s so hideously ugly and would be awesome to wear. If you ever want to re-donate and get paid for it, get in touch with me. I’ll buy it off you. Seriously. 😉
I would SO give it to you but it’s not one I have. I plucked the pic off of Google. Sorry 🙁
Coffee-15 minutes maybe? I am guilty or organizing an ugly sweater “party” for all the nurses in my unit working Christmas day. Trying to make the best of working on Christmas. As far as charity work, our Girl Scout troop EVERY Year visits the food pantry, retirement home or shelter for caroling and feeding the less fortunate. This year though my daughter and I opted out of the trip to the shelter downtown because she (and I) were freaked out by the skeevy meth-heads hanging out smoking by the building (we see them every day and she’s creeped out by them). Our troop leader is “disappointed” aka pissed at me but I’m fine with that. Maybe I’m a jerk but my daughter’s safety comes first. We are totally game for helping the needy but not druggies out on probation. Sorry. Merry Christmas!
OMG I do not blame you AT ALL. Safety first for sure. Plus, I’m not sure it’s a great thing to have goodwill done around drug using meth-heads. Kids are still kids and there are a lot of other (safer) ways to help.
Here’s to hoping you don’t have to wait nearly 15 minutes ever for coffee. Priorities.
Save them for next year! I know exactly what your’e saying and how you felt. I’ve actually done the same thing for an ugly Christmas sweater party–gone to a thrift shop and felt guilty doing it. Ugh.
My husband and I just talked the other day about our holiday guilt. We were sitting there trying to come up with ideas on what to get each other and we decided that it’s just stupid–neither of us needs a thing! So we’re donating money in each other’s names to our favorite local charities. That feels right.
I’m so glad to read this!!! It makes me feel 1,000 times better to know you and your husband think and feel the same way. I love your gift exchange idea. My husband and I usually plan a weekend away for just us, in the Spring, as our gifts to one another. When we really think about it, all we want is some alone time. Thanks Amanda!
I have never been to an Ugly Christmas Sweater party. Sound pretty figgin’ hilarious. You’re right, these are all first world problems. Sitting in line like that with nothing to do does suck. We used to do stuff for our local food pantry when my oldest was in Cub Scouts. Maybe if your boys decide they want to do Tiger Cub Scouts you guys can do something as a group.
It’s definitely a VERY funny night and I’m sorry I have to miss out this year. And YES to doing some charity work with the boys. I think they would love an opportunity to do something like that. Thanks for the great idea Kris!
Oh man, what an ordeal… and a I get the total mix of emotions. It’s tough to see needs up close and personal like that (although those are the experiences I want my girls to have!) But to not even go to the party after all that! We do a few charity related things this time of year but I do want to find ways to do more throughout the year… it’s always around Christmas that we think more about it.
So true that we think about doing more charity around the holidays. I think I need to make that a goal for me and the kids – to get out there in 2015 and do something consistently to give back! Thanks Laura.
We have our work Yankee Swap tomorrow and they said to wear ugly sweaters. I got a fake ugly sweater t-shirt. I couldn’t get myself to a goodwill in time. I’m glad after reading your story!
You did the right thing with the t-shirt. SO much better! Have fun at the swap 🙂
The good news – ugly Christmas sweaters don’t really go out of style since…..so you can just save those sweaters for another year!!!
The high school and middle school kids are all about those kind of things – Friday at the basketball game it was very entertaining to see the kids!!!
Since I don’t drink coffee and only occasionally a hot chai I’m pretty much not one to wait in a long line – if I’ve been out in the cold all day I might swing by but only if the line is short!
We have a place (just down the road from our venue actually) called Let’s Help that provides stuff for those who can’t afford it – food, clothes, household good….I’ve started taking stuff there instead of to Good Will. I was surprised after Chris’ party in the fall – they took bagged lettuce, chips (that weren’t open), giant cans of refried beans – pretty much everything because they always have people who come in every day.
It’s so great you have a local place to take everything from the house! We also have a food pantry down the street and once a month, I donate with the kids but it doesn’t seem like much!
I saw one of the pictures of the “ugly sweater” high school get together with one of your sons and it looked pretty funny! I can only imagine what they will come up with when my boys get to high school. Yikes!
I have never been invited to an ugly sweater party! I would probably find something on Amazon. I don’t even know what I would do!
The only drive through Starbucks around here was one in Springfield and it was so bad that I’ve only gone there twice, and both times, I’ve gotten a coupon for a free drink without even complaining or asking for one. They just knew it was that bad.
They just built a new one about 20 minutes from my house and I happened to be in that town and I tried it out. Other than a really stupid woman in the car in front of me, it was very pleasant!
Hahahaha! Gotta love the Starbucks lines. I’ve also received a ‘free’ coupon without complaining. I think it’s actually cool they do that since not everyone is an a-hole and will complain 🙂
Shove the ugliness into a closet for next year?
Also, the one on the left looks . . . smelly.
It IS!!!
No I don’t partake in ugly holiday sweaters but I love the story about yours! Happy holidays my friend 🙂
You’re smart. Thanks Jill!
15 minutes is unacceptable. Completely.
I have never been to an ugly Christmas sweater party. I remember my mom used to wear those sweaters in the 90s. I think it was ok back then? I dunno. She worked with children so that kind of makes it ok.
Every school teacher in America has one of those sweaters (for at least one of the holidays if not all!) and it’s somehow totally acceptable.
I was in NYC yesterday and the lines at the Starbucks there were epic. Dear Lord thank God I don’t have to do that everyday or I may have to give up caffeine!! One guy in front of me ordered 37 dollars worth of coffee. How is that even possible? Gotta love NY!
Damn you cold and flu season is right! 3 weeks later and I’m still freaking sick, and NOT getting better. Had a chest xray today. We were supposed to go to an Ugly Sweater Party that we go to every year and had to cancel because, guess what? I was sick. I was so excited to wear my outfit too…guess I’ll have to save it for next year. I didn’t just go with the sweater, I went with some pretty horrible holiday leggings as well….
Jeez Sue this needs to end!!! I seriously hope you’re getting better. It has to over soon, right??
Hold onto the sweaters – you may need them one day. We usually adopt a family during the holidays, but we didn’t this year. One of our projects over the break is going to be determining where we should make a donation – I want the kids involved.
I have never been invited to a holiday sweater party, but if I were, I would be super competitive and obsess over it too.
That is awesome about involving the kids in the choice of donations. I try to involve mine too but they usually want to keep whatever it is we’re donating. Tough lesson there.
I love that you would do and feel the same as I did for that party. This is why we are friends.