It’s funny how life can just run up and punch you in the gut when you least expect it. I was thinking of doing a Christmas themed follow-up to the Thanksgiving post I wrote about being Thankful for What I’m Not. I admit, I was struggling a bit. I didn’t have the benefit of something really glaring that I didn’t want for Christmas other then no more posts about the Elf on the Shelf. But then, if I write about that, aren’t I adding fuel to the fire and if I have a fire going can’t I just throw the stupid thing in it? See how this was going off the rails?
Well then just this past Monday when I was sitting by a fire (ironically enough) with my darling children, I started to get a stomach ache. Nothing too horrible but enough to pop a few Tums. About a half-hour later I was doubled up on my bathroom floor crying. I will spare you the horrific details of exactly what having a “stomach bug” entails but I will tell you this, I would rather deliver the twins all over again and go through the previous 37 weeks leading up to their birth then to have to ever experience what I did for the approximate seven hours it ravaged my stomach and ass. That’s right, seven hours of stomach bug versus 37 weeks of twin pregnancy, 20 hours of labor, and a c-section to extract exactly 12 pounds of baby out of me. It was that bad and worse.
So now I know what is supremely on the top of my list for what I don’t want this Christmas. Here are some others:
1. The dreaded stomach bug
2. A cookie swap – you have to bake how many cookies? Well that’s just silly.
3. One of the boys falling out of the top bunk
4. Affluenza – aka poor little rich kid’s defense
5. School closings – it’s only December for God sake!
6. One more thing I have to plug-in and charge (iPhone, iPad, iPod, laptop, Nook, LeapPad’s, etc.)
7. Listening to how Dennis Rodman is befriending a terrorist maniac
8. Another good book – I can’t keep up now, so I don’t want to even know what I’m missing.
9. One more thing on my kids Christmas list! I told them Santa’s workshop is CLOSED.
10. Late shoppers being nasty and rude. We’re all in this hell together people so simmer!
Like a wise woman in the movie Christmas Vacation once said “I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”
So there you have it. Luckily I (barely) survived the stomach bug. It also claimed Miles but he bounced back fairly quickly as those under five tend to. I’m wishing you all a “bug” free holiday…and everything else on this list!
Now it’s your turn – what would you add?