It’s funny how life can just run up and punch you in the gut when you least expect it.  I was thinking of doing a Christmas themed follow-up to the Thanksgiving post I wrote about being Thankful for What I’m Not.  I admit, I was struggling a bit.  I didn’t have the benefit of something really glaring that I didn’t want for Christmas other then no more posts about the Elf on the Shelf.  But then, if I write about that, aren’t I adding fuel to the fire and if I have a fire going can’t I just throw the stupid thing in it?  See how this was going off the rails?

Well then just this past Monday when I was sitting by a fire (ironically enough) with my darling children, I started to get a stomach ache.  Nothing too horrible but enough to pop a few Tums.  About a half-hour later I was doubled up on my bathroom floor crying.  I will spare you the horrific details of exactly what having a “stomach bug” entails but I will tell you this, I would rather deliver the twins all over again and go through the previous 37 weeks leading up to their birth then to have to ever experience what I did for the approximate seven hours it ravaged my stomach and ass.  That’s right, seven hours of stomach bug versus 37 weeks of twin pregnancy, 20 hours of labor, and a c-section to extract exactly 12 pounds of baby out of me.  It was that bad and worse. 

This is not an actual photo of me but it may as well have been.

This is not an actual photo of me but it may as well have been. Except I had a blankie. A blankie that is now in the trash.

So now I know what is supremely on the top of my list for what I don’t want this Christmas.  Here are some others:

1.  The dreaded stomach bug

2.  A cookie swap – you have to bake how many cookies?  Well that’s just silly.

3.  One of the boys falling out of the top bunk

For the record, I did not vote for bunk beds this Christmas.  I was out-voted by ALL the boys.

For the record, I did not vote for bunk beds this Christmas. I was out-voted by ALL the boys.

4.  Affluenza – aka poor little rich kid’s defense

5.  School closings – it’s only December for God sake!

If I had a dollar for every time I've already heard this go up and down my hill I would be able to buy more running gear!

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve already heard this go up and down my hill I would be able to buy more running gear!

6.  One more thing I have to plug-in and charge (iPhone, iPad, iPod, laptop, Nook, LeapPad’s, etc.)

7.  Listening to how Dennis Rodman is befriending a terrorist maniac

8.  Another good book – I can’t keep up now, so I don’t want to even know what I’m missing.

9.  One more thing on my kids Christmas list!  I told them Santa’s workshop is CLOSED.

10.  Late shoppers being nasty and rude.  We’re all in this hell together people so simmer!

Like a wise woman in the movie Christmas Vacation once said “I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”

So there you have it.  Luckily I (barely) survived the stomach bug.  It also claimed Miles but he bounced back fairly quickly as those under five tend to.  I’m wishing you all a “bug” free holiday…and everything else on this list!

Now it’s your turn – what would you add?

 

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