It’s funny how life can just run up and punch you in the gut when you least expect it. I was thinking of doing a Christmas themed follow-up to the Thanksgiving post I wrote about being Thankful for What I’m Not. I admit, I was struggling a bit. I didn’t have the benefit of something really glaring that I didn’t want for Christmas other then no more posts about the Elf on the Shelf. But then, if I write about that, aren’t I adding fuel to the fire and if I have a fire going can’t I just throw the stupid thing in it? See how this was going off the rails?
Well then just this past Monday when I was sitting by a fire (ironically enough) with my darling children, I started to get a stomach ache. Nothing too horrible but enough to pop a few Tums. About a half-hour later I was doubled up on my bathroom floor crying. I will spare you the horrific details of exactly what having a “stomach bug” entails but I will tell you this, I would rather deliver the twins all over again and go through the previous 37 weeks leading up to their birth then to have to ever experience what I did for the approximate seven hours it ravaged my stomach and ass. That’s right, seven hours of stomach bug versus 37 weeks of twin pregnancy, 20 hours of labor, and a c-section to extract exactly 12 pounds of baby out of me. It was that bad and worse.
This is not an actual photo of me but it may as well have been. Except I had a blankie. A blankie that is now in the trash.
So now I know what is supremely on the top of my list for what I don’t want this Christmas. Here are some others:
1. The dreaded stomach bug
2. A cookie swap – you have to bake how many cookies? Well that’s just silly.
3. One of the boys falling out of the top bunk
For the record, I did not vote for bunk beds this Christmas. I was out-voted by ALL the boys.
4. Affluenza – aka poor little rich kid’s defense
5. School closings – it’s only December for God sake!
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve already heard this go up and down my hill I would be able to buy more running gear!
6. One more thing I have to plug-in and charge (iPhone, iPad, iPod, laptop, Nook, LeapPad’s, etc.)
7. Listening to how Dennis Rodman is befriending a terrorist maniac
8. Another good book – I can’t keep up now, so I don’t want to even know what I’m missing.
9. One more thing on my kids Christmas list! I told them Santa’s workshop is CLOSED.
10. Late shoppers being nasty and rude. We’re all in this hell together people so simmer!
Like a wise woman in the movie Christmas Vacation once said “I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”
So there you have it. Luckily I (barely) survived the stomach bug. It also claimed Miles but he bounced back fairly quickly as those under five tend to. I’m wishing you all a “bug” free holiday…and everything else on this list!
Now it’s your turn – what would you add?
Omg Allie!!!!! I am so sorry. I had it last year, all four of us did actually and it was ugly. I never ever want to do that (or clean that) ever again!!!! At least you got it out if your system before Christmas.
I totally agree, it is ONLY December!! Why on earth is there so much snow already?! I can barely cope. It makes this winter seem longer than it’s supposed to be!!
Stay hydrated and make sure you get some rest. xo
So you know!! Yes, so ugly and the clean-up? Let’s just say I’ve gone though a ton of Lysol, plastic gloves and bleach. Off to drink more Ginger Ale 🙂
Oh Allie, you poor thing! I’m so sorry you got hit with a stomach bug. At least with labor and delivery, you get a miraculous result…and someone else has to clean up the mess!
Your list is perfect! Thank God no one has ever invited me to a cookie swap. I’m not sure how I could gracefully excuse myself from that hell on earth. Do you think anyone would believe I’m allergic to domesticity?
On my list – no more holiday craft projects. Bean is all about coloring, cutting, gluing, and, worst of all, glittering. I just can’t take anymore!
Oh how I wish I had someone else to clean up the mess! My entire house needs to be bombed…and then, of course, my washing machine broke. The hits just keep on coming!
I’m so stealing your line about being “allergic to domesticity” and I will add “crafting!” Poor you 🙁
Ouch! The stomach flu before Christmas. Ick. Ick. Ick. Anytime the “fun” of the Holidays comes up, I start singing “it’s the most wonderful time of the YEAR!” Ha. ha. ha.
Seriously!! Everyone is saying “at least it’s this week and not next” and I’m kind of like “that would have given me a really good excuse to just stay home and sleep through the holiday!!” Fa la la la, la la la la!
Oh….Nooooooooo!!! You poor thing! I totally get it. The stomach bug is THE WORST! I had it around my birthday last year. What a horror show nightmare. I can’t believe you got one during the Christmas prep weeks. GAH!!! I’m so sorry!!
I cant believe how rude the last minute shoppers are out there. They are horrible! Being nasty doesn’t get the shopping done any faster, people!! (or maybe it does which is why I’m perpetually behind and slow). I’m doing my holiday shopping in June next year. Blergh!! –Lisa
On your birthday? Oh honey that is just not right!
Yes I was at Target (when I could crawl out of bed) to re-stock cleaning supplies and everyone was so angry. I wanted to say “you think you have issues? You should see my bathroom right now! Now get out of my way before I breath on you!” Merry Christmas 🙂
Oh Allie, I am so sorry…the stomach bug is the WORST! I would have taken a school closing today so we could go skiing! But I’m totally with you on your list! Glad you are feeling better!!
Thank you! I can see as the boys get older, how school closing will be beneficial! Right now, it just takes away any “me” time I may have…and another little piece of my sanity 🙂
Stomach bugs are not cool. I am glad you bounced back! And I hope that nothing at all on the list of this things you don’t want comes true! And you’re right! School closings, rude shoppers, one more thing the charge? Who needs ANY of that?
No one!! Maybe we should turn Christmas into what we don’t want and not have to buy anyone anything?! Truly, do we really need any more “things?”
Oh geez that awful! I hate that feeling. I hope that you have bounced back! I know what I don’t want for Christmas…credit card bills!
Yes!! Good one. No one wants those 🙂 Thanks Kris.
I suppose now you’ll look extra skinny for the holiday? Oh wait, you’re in shape anyways!
I actually now need to *gain* weight! Bring on the wine and cheese 🙂
So sorry you had the stomach bug. I agree–I think there is nothing worse! And I agree with your list, too, and the sentiment that we are all in misery during the holidays. I am an admitted grinch this time of year–it’s just out of control in all the wrong ways!
School closings–another pet peeve! Here in Md it’s the threat of snow that will get them closed. My kids school year gets crazy long every year for all the make up time we do over a total of five inches in the course of one winter!
Oh that is even MORE frustrating with your school closings. At least here we actually have snow!
I’m trying to be less “grinchy” in the final days here but being sick is not helping!!
That sounds horrific! I’m sorry you had all that jazz going on. Glad it’s over & hope no one else gets it. The bunk beds wouldn’t have looked so scary had you to mentioned them tumbling own!
I can’t think of what I don’t want, all I keep thinking is what I DO want 🙂 ! I always buy little trinkets for myself while doing all this spending. Wonder if that’ll stop when I have my own kids.
It won’t! I still buy myself stuff when I’m out shopping – it helps to get me through. Although, I do most of my shopping online these days to help me ward off the nasties!!
Oh, you poor dear! I am so glad you’re better and that you and Miles survived, and that Vaughn and your husband escaped the horror.
I am with you on that, and with Des getting any more bumps on his head from trying to run faster than he’s ready for, and..rude last minute shoppers. They’re heinous!
I thought Mike would make it through unscathed but by Wednesday night he had it and Vaughn is the one who kicked the whole thing off – although he had it the most mild – go figure?
No more bumps or scrapes for the boys! Those bunk beds are killing me!!
I would add:
I don’t want gifts from people if we have not previously agreed to exchange – it just makes me feel like a douche bag
YES! That is soooo true! You’re like WTH??? That really bothers me too. Good one!
I’m so sorry you were sick. I completely agree, I’d much rather you go through 37 weeks of pregnancy, labor and a C-section than me get the flu, you’re such a good friend. That IS what you said, right?
Oh Karen bless your heart you sweet, sweet thing – NO that is NOT what I said!! 🙂
Oh man, now I’m scared… I really don’t want the stomach bug… I haven’t had anything like it for years. So sorry! And I’m so with you on nothing else that has to be plugged in! Have a great weekend!
I’m sure you’ll be fine Laura. Everyone around here seems to have it, so it was only a matter of time with my little germ balls walking around. I’m just glad it’s over!
Ugh! Stomach viruses are THE worst! That is the funniest line about “we’re all in misery” but because it is slightly true. I could do without the excess. and the “look at all I bought” facebook posts.
Definitely those FB posts. I would never feel comfortable doing that. How I wish Christmas could be without ANY gifts! Didn’t we learn anything from the Who’s? Thanks Tara!
I’m so sorry you were so sick. Sounds horrendous and I’m glad you’re better. Call me a Grinch but I can’t stand all of the Xmas music (it has nothing to do with being Jewish) but it started before Thanksgiving and I’m just flipping done!
Happy Holidays to you and yours! Here’s hoping the bug is very, very, very dead.
I think we sufficiently killed it. God I hope we did because there’s no more Lysol left!!
I totally hear ya on the Christmas music. I like it at parties or once and a while, sprinkled through my holiday but there’s definitely some overkill! However, I bet you would change your tune (HA!) if DD put out a Christmas album!
Stomach bugs are the worst thing ever of all times!!! And the amount of cleaning after (and during) is insane!!! I can’t believe that your washer had to pick this particular time to give it up – doesn’t it know you need it more than ever?!
BTW – cookie swaps are pretty high on the list of don’t wants! Now, a cocktail swap – I’m your girl!!!
I hope you are feeling better and that the bug has left your house for good!
Oh yes Kim the clean up! It’s never ending. The amount of new cleaning supplies in my house is insane right now. I could really use a cocktail swap…as a soon as my stomach fully recovers!
Thanks!
Oh my, that must have been one heck of a big bug!
I hear you on the bunk bed thing. Not exactly
LOL! I just turned on the tv and guess what’s on …. Christmas Vacation! Now I must watch. It’s a sign.
OMG that is hilarious! Love that movie. Hope you had fun watching 🙂
I’d just add to the list that i do NOT want one more pound on me!
Well, I know a good way to lose weight but it’s pretty horrendous…
That’s a good add to the list though 🙂
I hate stomach bugs! I caught it twice when I was pregnant with my second, and it was awful. So glad you’re feeling better.
Rude people should just shop online, seriously.
Oh Alison – I cannot imagine having that (let alone twice!) when I was pregnant. That is truly horrible.
Yes, I usually shop online 🙂
Did your kids believe you when you said Santa’s workshop is closed? Hope you don’t get any of the items on your list.
Yes they did!! They’re only four so I’m sure I won’t be able to use that one again!
We have caught the flu at home too! I’ve been wiping away booger for the last couple of days and with a sick husband, it’s getting harder to catch up on the Christmas rush!
Here’s to hoping that tomorrow is a better day for us both!
Dropping by from SITS, Happy Holidays!
It’s the worst! I’m so behind now but slowly making progress. Hope you are all feeling jolly by Christmas day!! Thanks for visiting from SITS! 🙂
Oh my god, stomach bugs are the WORST! I honestly am traumatically scarred from every bug I’ve ever had. I am so glad you are feeling better! Happy Holidays!
Thanks Britt. I’m also scarred. It will be a while before I truly get over this one.
The stomach bug is the absolute worse thing ever for me…I dread the though of it! it’s just awful! I would rather go through all three of my pregnancies again as well then deal with that, especially when it runs through the whole house…omg no thank you!
Jen
So true!! I think I would do an “extra” pregnancy, now that you mention three 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting!