Besides perhaps not being born in the first place, I think there’s a lot we would do without the “help” of the dads in our life.  I happen to be blessed with the best dad in the entire world.  I know a lot of people throw that around, but I would challenge anyone to a dad-off with mine.  I wrote 10 reasons as to exactly why he’s the best last year so, this year I wanted to venture into life without him…without all dads.

FathersDay2014

1.  Fewer visits to the emergency room.  I think it’s safe to say that, on average, most ER visits by kids are done while dad was supposed to be in charge.  My brother placed his entire hand on a wood-burning stove (while it was burning wood) when he was about eight, pretty much right in front of my dad.  Somehow he doesn’t have a hideous scar from this but…

One of my cousins also broke his collar bone, when battling his brother to the death, over a fruit roll-up (it was the 80s!) while my uncle was upstairs sleeping*.  I believe that was the same day my aunt quit her job to be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom).

*I guess it should be noted that my uncle was coming off an overnight shift as a police officer in a particularly ugly town, at the time of the “incident.”

2.  Healthier habits.  My father coined the term “breakfast cookie” with my kids.  Yes, my dad gives my kids cookies for breakfast when they’re at his house (which is often) and has also been known to dole out a peanut butter cup or two before 9am.  As a result, my kids want to be at Papi’s house all.the.time.  That is a win for me.

My husband has “boys day” with the kids that consists of donuts, the gym and then McDonalds.  One of these things is not like the other.

3.  Less bullying.  My husband has a unique way of solving “sneak attack” hitting by the boys in our house.  One of the twins is particularly fond of walking by his brother and, at the last moment, throwing an elbow or smacking him across the face for no reason at all.  Just another joy of parenting boys.  The last time this happened (after many, many. many times) my husband told the smacker that the next time he does it, he’s going to hold him down so the smackee can get a clean shot.  My husband will be 42 in October.  And no, I did not let this happen.

4.  Less Confusion.  Around here, my dad and husband both get things a little confused.  English is a second language for my dad and hilarity has insued over that.  He once told a business associate they should have a threesome with his wife.  He meant the three of them should go to dinner.  Needless to say, he sold that deal.

As for the hubs, just the other day, on the plane home from Spain, he told the girl sitting behind us (who was graciously interacting with our kids), that the boys were starting kindergarten on Wednesday.  This Wednesday.  She thought they were attending some extraordinary progressive school! What they have on Wednesday is a one-hour orientation.  They start kindergarten in September like every other kid in America.

5. More bandwidth for everyone!  Since my dad is in sales (and has been for the last 40 years or so) and my husband owns his own business (that he successfully built from the ground up!) they are both constantly answering emails, taking calls, or are online for one reason or another.  Most of the trip to Spain consisted of where the best Wi-Fi strength was and who had the better, more powerful, wireless battery charger.  For realsies.

 

At Okemo Mountain in VT this winter.  One of the annual trips we take with my dad and stepmom.

At Okemo Mountain in VT this winter. One of the annual trips we take with my dad and stepmom. They have excellent Wi-Fi at the resort.

 

Of course, the good stuff far outweighs the bad.  My husband is an amazing dad, and my own father is one of the most important people in my life.  I honestly would not know what to do without either one of them!  I love you both beyond any words I could type on this page and myself and my boys would suffer tremendously without either of you in their lives…but you already knew that.

 

Happy Father’s Day!

What would you add to the list?