It sounds like a trick question. Are you thinking of all the possible answers – spouse/partner, kids, parents, maybe even a friend? If you’re lucky, there are so many possibilities.


Years ago I was watching Beyoncé be interviewed. I can’t remember who the interviewer was, but I remember she asked her this very question: “Who is the most important person in your life?” Beyoncé responded by saying “I guess it should be me, right?” and she laughed heartily, throwing her head and hair forward, then recovered and went on to explain why it should be her and all the things she wasn’t doing to take care of herself. This is Beyoncé. This was before she had a child. If she wasn’t practicing self-care, who is?

She looks happy.

She looks happy.

I have never forgotten that interview, because prior to hearing her response, my answer most definitely would have been “my kids,” or “my family” but certainly not “me.” But why not?

One of my all time favorite sayings is “If mama ain’t happy, ‘ain’t nobody happy” because it’s just so damn true. But am I living that? Sort of. I think I live with more guilt then I would like to admit and, most days, I’m making sure everyone and everything around me is a priority.

I also think women in general and moms in particular are wired to be caregivers, and not necessarily just to children, but to friends and family too. When I was growing up I was taught that my kid’s needs come first, but I live in a very different world then my mom and, unfortunately I can’t ask her about how she felt or the amount of mom guilt she had, if any.

Me and my mom hanging out happily in 1980.

Me and my mom hanging out happily in 1980. Clearly I was the most important person in her life 🙂

So, it’s Valentine’s day weekend (restraining myself from making gagging motion) and expectations are high, reservations are set and a vulgar amount of heart-shaped things have been purchased. #Guilty

At some point in your day of loving and all things hearts and rainbows, remember who the most important person in your life is, and give her some love. And possibly some chocolate. And maybe also wine. And jewelry. And…a break.

Happy Valentine’s Day Bitches! xoxo

So, who is the most important person in your life?

Is there any chance someone else saw that same interview and remembers anything about it?

What are you doing (if anything) for Valentine’s Day?